Celtic Diary Tuesday January 29: Player Exodus Underway

It looks like one or two players have realised that their future is not at Celtic Park.

Yousseff Mulumbu, who looked to be the enforcer required when he played against his old team mates at Rugby Park dropped quickly out of favour when it was noticed that he had two dozen missed call from Ibrox cheerleader and football oracle Kris Boyd.

The midfielder had been accused of telling tales of broken dressing rooms to the tv pundit, who then went on to repeat them on tv, and it could well be he has paid the price for his indiscretion.

Mulumbu posted pictures of himself at an airport, prompting speculation that he was going somewhere, and he could well have joined alleged fellow Mata Hari Scott Allen in seeking alternative employment.

Loose lips sink ships, but not if the captain hears you.

Andrew Gutmann, the US defender who chose Celtic over “rangers ” , has disappeared. gone. Walked out. fucked off.

You get the picture. Which means I don’t have to find one.

After participating in a 4-3 defeat to Arbroath, he seems to have decided to get out of Dodge on the first available stage, which brings back memories of the maverick Mark Viduka, who decamped to Australia after joining Celtic, before eventually doing the decent thing and moving on to raise funds for the purchase of Chris Sutton.

Its not clear why Gutmann has gone, or where he has gone, but the presence of oil in the North Sea could mean he’s alerted his friends in the US military, who are always on the look out for that sort of thing.

Perhaps when he’s found we should parade him publicly in an orange jump suit as a warning to other players.

Lewis Morgan is now wanted by Sunderland after all, despite an earlier denial from Jack Ross, who wants to take him on loan after all.

Nir Biton could end up at Derby County according to some reports, which wouldn’t benefit anybody.

Speaking of 27 year olds, Adam Matthews will be out of contract soon. There’s a man who could do with a guiding hand from Brendan Rodgers.

At least, thats what I think this report from Sky TV says..

 

Nir Biton could end up at Derby County according to some reports, which wouldn’t benefit anybody.

Speaking of 27 year olds, Adam Matthews will be out of contract soon. There’s a man who could do with a guiding hand from Brendan Rodgers.

Hardly a dlamour signing, but as cover in both full back positions, we could do a lot worse. and we know there’s a player in there, he’s just lost his way.

Defenders do.

Image result for david weir rangers running the wrong way

Another right back has been mentioned, Jeremy Toljan of Dortmund.

We really are working our way down that list.

 

We keep hearing about medicals being arranged, players being shown around town and estate agents being told to look for houses, but as ever, we take that with a pinch of salt.

There’s a bit of a lockdown in place again, and we all know what that means.

Image result for incoming

Dedryck Boyata won’t feature against St johnstone tomorrow night, prompting speculation that he’s for the off.

Come to think of it, neither will Filip Benkovic, who took a knock in the win over Hamilton. The Sun claims he might be out for the season, incidentally, which if true, should mean Peter Lawwell and the board may wish to consider investing in some tinned food, bottled water and an underground bunker.

Meanwhile,  Brendan Rodgers has started waffling in public again, a sure sign that something is going on.

He spoke of the perils of football management-a curved ball if ever one was thrown..

“I have been managing over 10 years now and 25 as a coach and it has totally changed. 

“The mentality of players has changed and that is because society is different now.

“Everything is protected and we are in this surveillance society now where everything is 
monitored and looked at. 

If you don’t count referees, and clubs living beyond their means ahead of liquidation.

“You see these new iPads and iPhones now. Have you seen them? You can actually listen in now with earphones to hear what other people are saying.

“Have you seen that? Who invents that? Some nerd sat 
in a room!” 

He might as well have shouted

Oh look, a squirrel

Instead, he wandered onto his management techniques..

If you continue to beat people with a stick, I don’t know if that always works. I have always been one to 
dangle a carrot. And then hook people emotionally so that consistently they can perform.

I’m fairly sure you can’t hit them with sticks any more.

Image result for its political correctness gone mad

 

Thing is, we just don’t know whats going on, but we can be sure something is. Even if its just the manager having some sort of breakdown.

 

Exciting , isn’t it ?

On a side note, I see those chaps in the mainstream media have now picked up on the comments made by West Brom boss Darren Moore about Oliver Burke.

We really are value for money here at Etims.

 

Over in Spain, Alaves and Rayo Vallecano supporters waited until the game is underway before entering the stadium, a policy often undertaken by the Lennon CSC, whose members have been known to have another beer until the crowds go down, in order to highlight their displeasure of Monday night football.

Celtic fans should try that in the next Scottish cup game, especially as it will be televised.

It would draw attention to the piss poor state of football govenrnance and possibly even get proper reporters asking about Resolution 12, which is about to enter the second phase of its demands for answers to so many questions.

Sometimes you have to take a step back to take two steps forward…

 

Some, however, continue to stumble forward quite blindly, unaware that the rest of us are laughing at them.

Thanks to Only3togo for these snippets..

Total cost-£16.90.

Or 18.72 in euros.

Of course, we all know the amount in real terms is actually £20.12

 

Then theres evidence that they still haven;t got a clue how to spend money wisely..

No, they haven’t signed anyone else one Gerrards agents books.

Remember that fan zone they wanted, on council land ?

Seems they did apply for a licence… and pay the required fee.. only to be told they should have asked for help filling the form in.

To be fair, it hardly had any pictures to help explain what was required.

Note the decision…”Incompetent ”

I can only imagine the laughter at the council offices as they studied the application.

mind you, it can be easy to misunderstand the written word sometimes..

He presumably now thinks they’ve won the league, but still can’t  figure out why his apparent value has dropped from £11m to , er , nothing, as anything is only worth what someone is prepared to pay for it, and so far, no one is prepared to pay anything for him..

The same dubious reporting emerged yesterday when the Fat Controller put out a story saying Southamton were interested in right back James Tavernier, claimed by some to actually have retail value, but Southampton, like nice re Morelas, issued a statement along the lines of

Are we fuck

 

Yesterdays caption competition….

 

Mike January 28, 2019 at 11:41 am · Edit · Reply →

Caption, The three stages of hair, left parted, right parted and departed. 😉 <0 

There was one other comment, on twitter that made me chuckle.

Transplant recipient gets to meet the donor in a moving Channel 5 documentary.  

Today..

 

 

 

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Monti

Benkovic out for the season???

What now Peter? Get Pep on the line?

In the words of Roy scheider in the film ‘ Jaws ‘

” That’s great, that’s just great “

Weered

Monti… Peter better get a bigger boat then

Monti

Weered,
Sorry i couldn’t take your call, i’m on the bus into work & it’s fucking foo tae the gunnels.

Weered

Monti NP

Monti

Bongo,
Everything is cool because we have Boyata tho eh?

Pmsl
MWAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHA

Bongo

You took the words right out of my mouth Monti.

proddie

caption “What the fuck, v.a.t ? I thought you said no-one pays tax here , Gerro you arsehole”

Monti

Would love to see the look on Lawwell’s face this morning when he hears the Benkovic injury news…..
See those fucking lights Peter, there’s one big spotlight shining right on you friendo.

If you don’t sign a right back & central defender in this window, i will personally insert those lights up your jet fighter!

Lawwell out!

D'Fhinnein Mick

MONTI

You’ll have a problem doing that,mate. You’ll never get it past the ankles of all his sycophants.

Bongo

So its Lawwell’s fault when players get injured now. ?????

How many back up players do you want for each position Monti. Last time i looked, we have 5 centre halfs. 7 if you include Bitton and Lustig (sorry forgot he’s crap and everyone wants rid of him now)

Monti

PISH

Bongo

I didnt even include Compper in that total – another Lawwell mistake I suppose??

Monti

Bongo,
I don’t want back up defenders, we had ONE good central defender in Benkovic, the rest of them i’d sell in a second.

wiiboz

Well you can’t sell Benkovic because he belongs to Leicester

Monti

Donny, you’re out of your element…

Bognorbhoy

Caption…

This marching powder bill for July is a bit steep

Caption…

Awe crap eggs Benedict…wait till ding ding sees this …tell jermaine it has to stop…

Pat Higney

Caption: Right Gary, I’ve got it! 6 zeros in a million, 9 in a billion…..how many zeros in the Brazilian Jaba wants me to mention?

Paddybhoy67

Caption:
20 Regal
6 Special Brew
Rizla King Size
2 Buckie
A dozen cheese puffs
6 Steak Bakes
Irn Bru
………. Pena

Look once it reaches £200 million the high Heid mason’s rip it up and we start a knew tick list.This is jockville and we do what we want

Mick

Caption : Right Steven here’s the lyrics “oh my father was an orange man”..

Caption: Lee Congerton dropped a piece of paper. Laurel and Hardy are so impressed by the list of players he’s scouted, they’re about to ask the sevco board to make squillions of quids available to buy some of the players on the shortlist.

ScrounGERS!

D'Fhinnein Mick

Oh dear.

Our two first-choice central defenders are injured,our third-choice usually is,and the rest are shite. Nope,never thought that would happen,thought we were well covered there.

What,we have similar problems with both full-back positions?

Well,who do people think I am-Mystic Meg?

Yours,

Peter

Mike

I always have a chuckle at the footballer’s clothing, having their initials on them, can they not tell whose belong’s to whose, bless.
Spare a thought for Tina’s lad… Timothy Ignatius Turner.
I’m a Brigton chancer,
I’m after your money,
I’ll do what I have to doooo,
I’m the Brigton chancer,
I’m after your money,
All of your money will dooo. Hands up Peter. 😉

Monti

Mike,
My ex team mates always seemed to know my kit, ” Those must be Monti’s ” 🙂

Cheeky bastards.

Mike

😉 <3

5TB

Caption

Agreed, it is a lot of lamb.

5TB

Caption;

What? It says the application was completed with the pen lid on? Dunno who it was like…??..”

Monti

I fucking hope your right…..for once!

Monti

On a panic – o – meter 1 being as cool as Samuel L.Jackson post reefer & 10 being Basil Fawlty hearing Manuel has taken the day off sick.
I’m at 10.

Devoy45

Ah, the joys of supporting the Celtic!
No back four left but only two days left in the transfer window!
I’m away for a strong cup—of peppermint tea!
Peace and good health to all.
Lineup against St. Johnstone.
Bain
Forrest
Mcgregor
Christie
Johnstone
Weah
Edouard
Burke
Sinclair
Hayes
Morgan
Bayo
Formation: 11 rows of one!
Attack minded. The Celtic Way!
Caption: How many zeroes? A whole team of them!

David

When did everyone start believing what they read in the F@@@@@ Sun. Oh Ye of little faith.
Caption GMc according to Dave king we should have a lot more zeros than this.

Monti

How do you know it was written in the Sun?

Monti

Lawwell – ” Hi is that Stewart Milne, i was enquiring about the cost of Scott McKenna “?

Milne – ” Aye fit like ken i hink aboot 6 mullion like ken fit like ken ”

Lawwell- ” Ah fuck it ” 🙂

Mike

Transfer news aside, taking three points from Tommy Wright’s St. Johnstone is the most important thing to Celtic, at this point in time. Take a 6 point lead in the League is crucial and gives us that wee buffer should we need it. The players that are free from injury should be more than good enough to deliver all three points. Bayo, Rogic, K.T. Odsonne are still to figure so far in this part of the season. Four games at home recently have given us the impetus and momentum to leave the rest behind. Sterner tests will come, but we… Read more »

Brian (not the messiah)

Ewan henderson signs 3 and half year deal!!!!
Hail hail

Raymac

Na! I can’t read it either!

Brian (not the messiah)

Caption: 3 points behind and a gane in hand slippy G…..de can’t afford any more slip-ups

Mike

Clip Clop Clip Clop as the Worlds Guru on the Scottish weather hoofs it over towards Fife for a pre pitch inspection.
Jimmy Bell Jimmy Bell he’s a bastard a dirty Orange bastard, he telephones the SFA. Hello Hello wearra Billy Boys, Hello Hello you’le know us by our choice of sex toys. Call it off, call it off, we have multiple injuries. The kit maestro who dictates policy to the SFA.

Just one look and I knew, knew, knew, I was in limbo, doing the limbo waltz, bending over backwards baring my arse…

Monti

🙂

Weered

Caption… Slippy complains that it’s in joined up writing…

Mike A

Caption: if you can shift a few of the duds the Board will be able to buy you the other glove.

Ok Steven let’s try again, 1 apple plus 1 apple equals ???

Marcello Stefani

Caption: Dave’s won 5 quid on the Lottery. He says with another 200 thousand slips like these we can pay for Jermaine Defoe.

George Lazenbhoy

Caption: they said we should split the bill five ways, like an agreement of sorts.

Monti

Yeah well done Peter i’m all happy clappy now….

The Cha

Caption “Look boss, if we sell El Buf and Tavs for a combined £25m, then we can afford all these players”

Mike

Cliftonville have a new mascot as the Weered Panda escaped from Belfast zoo. He quickly made his way to the home of the Reds and sat up their tree shouting “Weereds, Weereds, there the team for me… Mikael Lustig has taken some stick this past couple of seasons, but he has been a great player for Celtic. He joined Celtic in January 2012 having signed a pre-contract from Rosenborg in 2011. Eight seasons at Parkhead for Mika, a player who has played for Sweden at 18s and 21’s level and with 70 full international caps. Anyway that you look at… Read more »

jimmybee

Mike For me Lustig brings out the best in Jamesy.
He is a fantastic servant to the club and should remain so he deserves to be in the 10 in a row squad.HH

jimmybee

Mike he still has much to offer us. Jamesy is at his best when Lustig plays. He deserves to be given the credit he deserves.Our supporters sometimes are too hard on our players.

Monti

No one is being disrespectful to Lustig, stop with all this dewy eyed pish about Lustig, it’s an area that needs strengthening so you pair stop talking pish, i bet you two are at Ikea sharing a plate of their overpriced meatballs.

Weered

Monti… well they are Swedish meatballs ffs

Mike

I agree Jimmy, the abuse he gets weekly is out of all proportion, you are also right about his interaction with James. Both have played together for years and it shows. Its in Europe where he sometimes gets caught out with pacier wingers. Its clear that Brendan is looking to strengthen the right back position, but with young Ralston out injured I think we should offer Mika a one year contract extension, he deserves that at least. Worthers sir? 😉 <0

🙂

Puggy67

Wee bit o’ winter sun. Couple o’ cold beers and a pizza noo off tae the pool for a snooze. Nothing to do with the fitba just thought I’d piss ye off.

jimmybee

Great to see Ewan getting a new deal.
This guy given the right coaching by Brendan will be the ready made replacement for Broony.He has all the attributes to make it.
COYBIG.

Monti

They said that about Liam Henderson.

jimmybee

I didn’t 🙂

Monti

Where’s the players Lawwell?

Fucking disgrace!

Iancelt67

I suggest until the fans are appeased with decent signings Peter should be known as Peter Lol

Puggy67

Caption: Sevco No2 struggles with the instructions for his easy iron-on transfer.

Monti

Disco lights look….

Monti

Look at the lights & the pitch everybody, look look…..

Monti

I can see a return of the sieve….

Monti

Clock is ticking Lawwell…..

Monti

Look at the lights, shiny eh? Wow wow wow, look look at the lights…..

Devoy45

I see the lights, the Celtic lights
Green and orange and white.
And when they glow and glow
Monti says wow and wow
then NO, NO, NO.
The lights are mince and don’t convince
and do nothing for our back four defince.
(apologies to William McGonigall)

Mike

Up Helly, is showcasing the new Aa galley, painted green and white Hoops inspired by the Scottish Championees. The Viking festival in Lerwick on the Shetland Isles, takes place annually and is the largest event of its kind in Europe and thousands of tourists watch it, states the Dundee Courier. But watch out for the rape and pillagers and fur fucks sake stand well back when the Vikings swing their axes and then set fire to their longboats. The only thing about the Vikings is their Norge heritage, good at ski-ing and ice hockey but pish at fitba. A clear… Read more »

Monti

Where’s the defenders, Lawwell?

Monti

” World class in everything we do “?

Lawwell out!
Just fuck off, you are robbing Celtic ya cunt!

Cartvale

Caption
That’s the list of officials that will do what they can

The people on here slavering about the Celtuc shambles are as stupid as the morons that won the UCL at Livingston on Sunday.
BR is not stupid and is using the tools to lean on Liewell, the media will print any shit that can harm the cause.
BR has done a fantastic job, he has won Everything, plus brought in cash for the board to push away on their theatrical crap.
I am looking forward to the treble again, and that mob to disintegrate.

Monti

Cartvale,
Fuck off ya prick!

Genuine concerns on the direction of thr board/team doesn’t make us as bad as them.

So with sugar on top, get tae fuck!

Monti

So would Brendan!

Monti

£2m for Disco lights
£2.3m for Lawwell
£1.5m for a shit pitch.

And we laugh at the Huns?

Monti

£5.8m hmmmmm now that could get Scott McKenna
£3.5m would have got John McGinn….

But no…

Is that you Pep, any 17 year olds to develop?

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/