Celtic Diary Saturday 29 December : More To Be Pitied Than Scorned

Celtic swept into a majestic victory at Ibrox…oh hang on, thats tomorrows diary.

Is anyone worried about today ?

Should I just skip straight to tomorrows nonsense ?

Or would that be tempting fate ?

There is still, after all, a body of the Celtic support that is convinced that these games are unpredictable. There’s only been a dozen or so clashes between these two clubs, and apart from the peepil who follow todays opponents, no one seriously expects anything other than a resounding win for Celtic.

Thats why Dave King cut the allocation to just 700, a few hardy souls who don’t mind being the object of abuse, verbally and physically, because at full time today, it’ll have all been worth it.

Speaking of King, its only fair to mention that he has done something to try to curb the flow of coins that are expected to be in the air this afternoon..

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Heres our guys, already meeting up for a pre match livener , mob handed and ready to rumble, at an undisclosed underground station..

Its not the club, they are largely insignificant in the grand scheme of things, they’ve not been around long enough to be serious rivals, although their fan base has made them the equivalent on the pitch if a Hearts or Aberdeen.

Their current financial woes mean that they will not be able to compete at the level of Celtic for many, many years.

If, indeed, at all.

But the support…well, did you ever meet a bunch of guys with absolutely no redeeming features like that lot ?

Dumb enough to watch their club die and blame everyone else, they then went on to latch on to a series of venture capitalists who fleeced them for millions, aided and abetted by a compliant media and a corrupt governing body.

Dumb enough to throw their weight behind bargain basement managers such as Ally McCoist, who didn’t need any extra weight, Mark Warburton.. who inspired them to take bread wrappers and put them over their traditional dunces hats…

Image result for rangers fan warburton hat

Pedro Caixinha, who didn’t want to be there from the moment his plane landed in glasgow, and of course, Steven Gerrard, who has no fucking idea where he is, what he’s doing or why he’s doing it.

And yet, they remain optimistic…or just downright fucking stupid.

This is based on the collection of has beens, never were and never will be’s that Gerrard has brought to the club.

Such as star striker Alfredo Morellos

We know a song about him, don’t we ?

Then there’s two of the crew that couldn’t get out of Ibrox quick enough when the original club folded, condemned at the time by the support for leaving, but now welcomed back by our amnesic adversaries .

Kyle Lafferty joined from Hearts, once he squared Ann budge the few quid he owed her, and Alan MacGregor, who had enjoyed the bright lights of Hull, returned to his spiritual home when he realised that Hull didn’t want him any more.

James Tavernier is another who they will be pinning their hopes on, if not on the park but in the transfer window, as they hope to keep the lights on for another few months. But rankly, no one has bid for him yet, and no one is likely to, given the ridiculous price they have put on his head.

As for the rest of them, I’ve no idea who they are, where they came from or if they’re any good, but you can be assured that if they were any good, they’d have been sold already.


The BBC recently did a pick your team special, where you could choose from players in either squad, and surprisingly some did pick one or two from the Ibrox club.

Though they had names like Billy, Sammy and Patient 345271.

For the rest of us, its hard enough to pick eleven from our own squad, such is the quality and variety within.

On to todays game, there was some good news for Brendan Rodgers when Keiran Tierney trained yesterday.

Though there was bad news for Steven Gerrard when all of his did as well.

Actually, thats not strictly true. A number of his players are getting their wives to phone in sick for them, as they know exactly how their support will be feeling after another pasting in their own midden.

And they just don’t want to be a part of it.


There may be little to fear from the Ibrox players, but we’ve already seen the influence a piss poor referee can have on a game.

Today we have three piss poor referees, all of whom have been observed to have leanings to the lunatics in the main stand.

John Beaton, Douglas Ross and Bobby Madden will take it in turns to make todays game as evenly matched as they can, and anyone who thinks otherwise clearly hasn’t been watching much Scottish football.

To protect the brand, and the meagre investment from bookmakers and Sky television, today has to be different from the usual one sided fare, an you can rest assured they’ve picked the guys who will have no qualms about ditching professional pride.

Sentinel Celts have a piece on them worth looking at…



The wall behind which most of todays wailing will come from, known as the tarrier barrier among their support, there are of course other names, but they are all somewhat unimaginatively linked to child abuse , seems to have mysteriously disappeared as another cheque appears not to have made it through the bank…largely becuase they don;t have the same banking facilities as other clubs, due to their irresponsible financial management.

Perhaps the builder who put this fence up..

Image result for tarrier barrier

got home, opened the bag of used fivers, and realised that it wasn’t a bag of fivers after all, and he went back to take his fence back…

Alternative View editor Matt MacGlone spotted this at teatime last night, whilst observing the only lighting arrangement that appears to make the surrounding area even darker.


Those of you who like statistics when contemplating the outcome of a match may like to look at this, which after a long winded examination of all sorts of aspects of the two sides, concludes it comes down to who scores the most goals…


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For me, it’ll finish 2-0 to the good guys, the referees keeping the score down in the interest of public safety.


Anyhoo, must dash. It appears its an early kick off, and the pubs are already open…


Be good, be safe and above all, to those in the ground…don’t try to film any of them. No matter what they do.

There’s no point. The undead don’t appear in mirrors, or on film. all you’ll get is footage of things flying through the air, and that ghosthunter fellow on the telly, Derek something, will be after using it to lend his programme some sort of credibility.


Caption competition from yesterday..

Ruralbhoy December 28, 2018 at 6:32 pm · Edit · Reply →

Even Alfred Hitchcock can’t unravel the mysteries of sevco 


Image result for brendan rodgers steven gerrard



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They have nothing in their whole imperial arsenal that can break the spirit of one Irishman who doesn’t want to be broken. Bobby Sands MP
Enjoy us piling on the agony again.
4_0 the good guys.

hoop hoop hooray

Aw for fecks sake no again


Caption: I can’t do this! Give us a P45.

The Cha

Caption “I’m standing with my hands in my pocket and jacket open just like Brendan so how the fuck can my team not play like his?>”


Caption: Lourdes what have i told ye get over to the Celtic end ffs.

Arsene Parcelie

“See, I’m not a tiny man… Brendan is not even far away.”


Caption : Lourdes stop singing the fields of athenrye. Lourdes no you can’t sing youll never walk alone ahh Daddy thats right because your a turncoat well im no ya hun bastard up the ra.

Sevco caused their own problems. They made their own bed, let them lie in it. Let’s see if they fill the rest of their ground minus the seats allocated for Celtic Fans. If they do fill the ground I will bet you anything they have had to give tickets away for free. As for building walls up, they probably got the idea from D Trump. So sad this has to be done to keep our fan’s safe from the Gullibillies.


Yoker, Apologies mate, I was trying to post to you but the diary changed to todays. I had posted to you in days previously but they never appeared. Enjoy the game today and we will be expecting a full update on Valencia in February..

Yoker Bhoy

No worries Mikey. I’ve been very busy entertaining my brother these days. I’ll start to take in a few Valencia league games early next year to have a better idea of their strengths and weaknesses.

Have a wonderful hunskelping day and a great New Year celebration. There’s bound to be loads to say after today”s game, whatever happens.



Cheers Yoker! Just give your brother the second best seat in front of the telly (keep the best for yourself) and tell him to bring the beer in, in a steady flow, along with the crisps of course. Enjoy the game.

Yoker Bhoy

🙂 You too!

Mike Annis

Stevie G getting excited waiting for the officials to join him for the pre match Masonic H(un)aka.
Brendan stands in wry amusement.



Is BR thinking; “That’s far enough boy. Off the pitch”


Caption:” Stevie G;” C’mon the Hoops!” My son is full of confidence and I greet each match with whatever version of them the stick Exchange recognises with the same dread. ” What could possibly go wrong, 15 men against 11, that’s what.” I reckon their McGregor and Morelos would get into our squad, Tavernier,is he the equal of Lustig or Ralston, going forward maybe, the rest forget it? I know this should be easy but beware of over confidence or guys rising above their pay grade bayed on by the mob to do a once in a lifetime. I hope… Read more »


It’s ok mate the referee’s a hun


Celtic team announced
Lustig Boyata Benkovic McGregor
Brown Ntcham
Forrest Christie Sinclair
Brendan knows something we don’t


Jimmy that’s a cavalier line up. Edouard was in song last game so he’s not picking this on form. Looks like 3 at the back fair play to Rodgers he keeps everybody guessing


I note in a wee swatch on kerrydale street, the usual “panty wetters” are out in force. I don’t have a problem with the team selection, they are very slow in central defence and Johnston will run them ragged. Once he’s tired them out, French Eddy on to bulldoze through them for the last 30. It’s time for Ntcham to step up to the plate as he’s been poor recently, and also Forrest to regain his early season form as he’s went off the boil recently. Eleven fit players against a half fit, out of match practice side is a… Read more »

Interesting team news. Is it a three five two or is Calmac going to play left back? I had thought that KT would be fit enough to start but he and Hayes on bench. Only a fool predicts these games – so 4-1 for Celtic with Christie Johnston, Forrest and Eddy to score.
GC George Connelly


Happy with the team, an awful lot of experience in there, disappointed that Cal-Mac has lost out playing further upfield. However, systems can be changed quite easily during game time and our big surprise will be second half with a bench filled too the brim with talent. COYBIG.

Yes systems can and probably will be change. Indeed what a bench. Glad to see wee Mikey getting a game from the start. He will run circles round them.


Mike think there is a spanner in the works formation wise we will wait and see.
No matter we have too much for them either first half or last 20 when things may have to change.




Cmon Celtic you are my fucking heart. We are the real people and by the way fuck the ref .


I want me maaaa!

Get right about this mob and put them back in their cage, as an aside hate SKY even when watching in a pub


This looks like a team that can change system easily and then deploy the talent on the bench later in the game. Lot of pace up front for Celtic today. I think this team will be able to win the day. Come on the Bhoys

Selection from on on high?

We effed the bookies.


Send off Morelos right away


Morelos booted browns balls from behind how the fuck is this gone unnoticed?

Rope a hun.


Beaton said it before you are a HUN cheat.


We are making this mob look good, Ncham and Brown do not work, need a change in tactics

Listening to the pish being spouted by Walker, unbelievable,

The continuous knocking the ball about at the back, we lack McGeogor in midfield pinging the ball about.


Fucking woeful, Edouard on from the start of the second half, need to get McGregor into the midfield.

This isn’t good enough….

rab wallace

This is absolutely dreadful, they are fucking rubbish and we are making them look good


Really that assualt on brown from morelos is a definite red no commrntary on it at all my end. Still we are on the back foot here being dominated

It`s no mince for tea just yet. But that subbourness`ll cost.

Again team selection away from home?
FFS it`s a nice pitch to play our game on.


Well whatever system we are using it aint working, Broony has struck the bar and deflected the bae into the net. Change will surely happen soon, we need to do better second half. I never ever listen to the commentary I just turn it off. As Cartvale said we need McGregor back in midfield, one or two players are way off the pace, change the system, they look fucked and we need to start playing, not hard enough to beat this shower and their helpers…


Them’s have had it far too easy, we have offered nothing up front, no press, nothing, the first half has been played in our box, push them up the park, put pressure on the fat prick in the orange.

2 subs gone. They`ll surround to knacker Broonie.

Get to the ball first.

Give it away with playing the ball out of our box.

Tippy tappy style catches up.

Players are aware of a sub.They look busy.


Captain Courageous is past it, he makes Ken look good, as for BR, I would love to know what his tactics are, h does no appear t hav any
As for the Huns in the middle, any advantage or doubt giv it to the Huns
Morelos is a nasty wee bastard

Tony Carlin

We have been shite. A disgrace

Just maybe the franchise fix is closer to home?

Nhcham go back to your kip on the bench.


It`s OK. Blame the Aussies.

No depth.


We have not played well, Brown and Ntcham shocking, but BR seems totally unaware of he cheating by Beaton and his minions.
As for SKY what a farce, the hatred of all things Celtic shocking
Let them celebrate in their pig sty, they have nowhere to go.
At times they dominated but it was still 1-0.

Bring it on as you sing the Famine song, mind you they have just won the Champions League, where is Zadoc he priest?


Well beaten though morelos should have walked they deserved their win. Well beaten we move on


I suppose statisically it had to happen some day but seeing some of my favourites play so poorly together Sinclair, Lustig,Brown, Boyata, Benkovic, all were grim.Christie, McGregor,Ajer,Johnstone and Ralston just about got pass marks. Gordon made some good saves but passed his defenders into trouble while Nthcham’s twin, the one who cannot play to save his life, was on today. Am I still a Brendan fan, of course I am, we need a rest, some players may have been carrying minor injuries into this game such as Beckovic. However for the first time they wanted it more and some not… Read more »

Iljas Baker

BR picked the wrong team and Rangers did a Hib with the high press that Celtic just can’t cope with.. Why wasn’t Hayes playing left back and McGregor in Midfield? Ncham was pathetic as was Brown and SInclair – knocked of the ball far too easily – he needs to bulk up a bit. Boyota made some good interceptions but was back to his bomb scare self.Forrest totally anonymous. French Eddie got fed nothing. Pass marks only for Gordon, Ajer, Rawlston Christie and McGregor.


Same old story.

Yep Flinker.
Though this time we`re to be told that we invested for the Europa Cup.A spot for the Champions League would’ve been easier.

Comfortable Celtic real estate chump change anyways!


They were up for it, we weren’t. They dominated us physically all over the pitch. Only positive was young Ralston – Thought he handled the occasion well.


Ralston was the only one with guts to make a solid tackle today.

Iljas Baker

Agree with everything you say here. BR is like a real amateur at times.I used to think Ncahm was great but he hasn’t put in a decent shift for ages. Brown Hardly did a thing right. I think he’s finished for the big games.

They didn`t need the men in black today.Though they`ll still be counted on.

Main positional players being 2-3 yards off the pace don`t deserve to play no matter who they are.

That decision alone defines a confident winning side.

Where`s our side?

Yoker Bhoy

Quite possibly our worst display this season, even worse than the recent Hibs fiasco. A nightmare for Lustig, Brown, Ntcham and a couple of others. Two or three fresh faces who are good enough to walk straight into the team after January will definitely be required. Beaton’s refereeing performance absolutely dire but I guess we never expected anything different.

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