Celtic Diary Thursday June 7: Rounding Up Ridiculous Rumours

There’s been a few lately.

Its probably down to the hot weather and excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages.

Those telling us these stories are probably drinking a lot more than usual as well.

There’s quite a few eminating from Ibrox, but thats to be expected. We’ll get to them after the biggie, as we are wont to call it.

Ten in a row.

Thats how Celtic will say farewell to Scottish football, or at least how the first team will say farewell. There may be a second feeder team playing doestically, but the main team will be featuring in the new champions League.

Except it won’t be for champions. At least the current version pretends its a champions league, and in that way entry  is based on merit, albeit slightly skewed in favour of those with a larger tv audience.

UEFA are slowly putting the plans together for a new European league, where all the big clubs can play each other regularly , home and away, with massive corporate and television sponsorship.

The global economy has finally come to Scotland.

The criteria is simple. big fan base, 60,000 seater stadium with LED lights and a hybrid pitch, hotel on the grounds…

And it helps if you have a guy on the committee thats highly influential in perhaps organising it it. With a decent manager who likes a challenge..

Image result for peter lawwell

Incidentally, that committee, the European club Association issued a statement yesterday, after a meeting in Warsaw..

“The model that emerges for the UEFA Club Competitions post-2024 should aim to strengthen the value of the competitions, while increasing the overall number of participating clubs and a greater certainty of matches for all,” 

and that they would be

“reviewing the total number of games, release periods, confederation tournaments (dates and frequency), and a re-balancing between European and domestic club competitions.

“The aim must be to develop a new model which reduces the current burden on players and adapts to the new realities of the club game,” 

2024 ? Alright, more than  ten in a row, but whenever it happens, its going to happen, and Celtic will be in there somewhere.

Of course, certain financial regulations will have to be adhered to, with perhaps wealthy owners underwriting initial costs, should there be any, but effectively, it just means that you have to be sqeaky clean to get in.

You know, audited accounts, money in the bank-well, even a bank account would probably be enough.

After all, the wealth thats there to be accumulated should lead to a much more even playing field than is currently paraded as an elite competition, especially if its evenly distributed.

Is there anything in this story, and its only fair to say the chap who told us was slurring a bit, well, a lot actually,  but let’s examine the evidence.

Celtic have invested heavily in the infrastructure around the ground, and there’s more to come.

We also understand that those high up in the club, top of the north stand, presumably, are furious with the way events have transpired domestically, and have no further wish to be associated with it.

There has always been a real fear at Celtic that the other clubs, especially whichever version is playing out of Ibrox, will manipulate things to “clip our wings “, and Celtic are having none of it.

Sharing home gates, increasing the amount of live television games from Celtic Park, anything at all that could cut revenue.

In any other industry that would not be allowed, but Scottish football is a law unto itself, or at least it thinks it is.

So, we believe a top secret memo was passed around the latest board meeting, never to be spoken out loud, and everyone had to eat it after they read it…

Image result for fuck this, we're out of here

Time, of course, will tell, but knowing that there is an end in sight to the piss poor Scottish set up, down largely to its piss poor governing bodies, is probably why the club haven’t complained about “rangers ” failing to meet certain criteria and being granted a licence to play in europe.

You didn’t know ?

The SFA website was updated yesterday..


With Celtic supporters and shareholders ready to quit the game, simply because its rigged and those rigging it don’t give a toss who knows, the club has to do something.

I like to think that they have decided not to stay where they aren’t wanted.

But lets go out in a blaze of glory.. three more trebles, and , of course,

Image result for ten in a row celtic

Other wee tales from the side of the city where the sun always shines include a message not to worry about any strengthening of the team. It’s all in hand, and we’re to ignore the media, for they know not what they speak of.

And there are some silly stories being bandied about, as the media do their best to find that exclusive exclusive..

Nathan Dyer ? oh dear…

No chance.

Some of them are valiantly still hawking john McGinn elsewhere, but as we know the player is already settled on his new vocation, and Oddsone Edoaurd is staying as well.

The club  just want to make a big song and dance of it when its revealed, along with anyone else who hitches their trailer  to the Celtic juggernaut.


Some of the more ludicrous tittle tattle, as expected, is pouring out if Ibrox and the surrounding pubs and clubs.

David Hopkin ?

Well, have you seen either Gerrard or McAllistair any where near Ibrox during their first week in the job ?

Wheres the big interviews ? The ones where the new guys tell us how proud they are to be in situ, and what they intend to do about the clubs current predicament.

There have been none, there have been plenty of others telling us what they intend to do, but nothing from the pair themselves…

Someone may have pout two and two together and come up with five, but that was their club accountant, so there may yet be something in it.

All the while, Dave “The “King has been spraying accusations right, left and centre about everyone and anyone he can think of, a deflection tactic he has employed for quite some time now.

Oh, thats from the Evening Times, by the way, that label.

The headline referred to the “rangers ” owner as “The King”

They’ve stopped pretending completely now.


We also hear of a sex scandal over on the other side of the city.

I think thats what the fellow meant when he said they’re all fucked.

Image result for snigger gif


There’s another petition doing the rounds which deserves your support, if I may be so bold.

Scotland have been drawn to face Israel in the upcoming European Nations League, or whatever its called, and with the Israeli’s currently restructuring Palestinian society with bombs and guns, Scotland should make a moral stance and refuse to play them following in the footsteps of Argentina, who cancelled a friendly this week.

Israel Petition

We skipped the caption competition yesterday, so we go back to Monday for this one..

Bognorbhoy June 4, 2018 at 9:54 am · Edit · Reply →


Suggs singing..

Madness, madness they call it madness.. 


Image result for steven gerrard and gary mcallister



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O`there`s a distance chosen.
For all in all.

It`s if?



Great Diary Ralphy, If I had a wish list before I shift off this mortal coil….that would be near the top.


What’s at the top of your list….a nose job?

Naw to flip you over and leather your arse.


peace reigns here again 🙂

Yes and I wish he would give me some, but that’s not at the very top. 😉

The Cha

Mike… I will chastise him suitably 🙂


Ooh matron 🙂
Not too hard now…..

I’m in control of the slipper.. meeeee. 😉


Wish I was their understandin` last cycle.

sevco aye prepare FC.

‘Don keys’ Maxwell?


It`s in his eyes Charlie Saiz.
The rigmarole role of retiral from those.


Somebody should have told poor Barcabhoy and by extension etims this two days ago. Bloody shame

Look if the Brits are turning a blind eye to this at every level why whould we expect Las Cos nostra …ooops I mean UEFA to do anything about this.


Rob O'Keeffe

Barcabhoy knew,we all knew,well some….Don’t blame the Brits,it’s the SFA that DaveCo have by the bollocks by threatening them with the 5 Way Agreement…..


Poor is “their” choice for us.
They do walk away with it.
Barcabhoy and Co. can`t advocate enough of that that`s that.


Caption “ So guys it was a joke, upset a few people in the unwashed south of Glasgow though.”
Mike don’t plan to shift too soon, this could happen. Great diary Ralph, if we keep tilting at the windmills of the SFA and the Scottish media we will get nowhere so why not start a new game consistent with our stature and history.

BJF, if it happens, that shock would do fur me. 😉

Celtic Mikey

I understood the focus previously was to enter a British league. St Peter re- positioned himself to join a bigger pond in Europe. Next stop the world club league? Hotel for visiting teams and perhaps dedicated training facilities for them at barrowfield all looking good. Nice museum to chart the history for visiting supporters to show how big we are.
The kudos of commenwealth games for opening ceremony etc is putting Celtic park on the map.
The additional 20k seats on North stand , yes all looking good.
All pish as you would say Ralph


Over on the 15th up for the standard liege friendly

The Cha

The game’s on the 14th according to the celtic website http://www.celticfc.net/fixtures


Over in the 14 Th. Next week celtic


Cha I meant. Spose it’s the local pubs to watch the Aussies in Russia

I think before we get invited to a British League,that old Stand needs upgraded,as for Sevco,this is a opportunity for our club,to not take any away tickets from them, it’s to dangerous for our fans to be located over in that corner,so come on Celtic,you know it’s the right thing to do,no more Sevco Supporters inside Paradise.

Rob O'Keeffe

There you go,the SFA grant a licence to a club that’s still in liquidation? C’mon Scottish clubs,time to stand up and Shout Enough!
Gerrard hasn’t been about but DaveCo have signed a £3m player,brought another in on loan and Murty(decent guy,aye right) returns as youth coach.So who’s running the circus?
P.S.Can’t wait to play Barca,Man City,PSG,Real Madrid etc home and away,on a loop,how exciting! Multiple pumpings every season (but don’t forget the €€€€s-Peter).Please Sir,can we get in to the trough? Look at our pitch,shiny lights,hotel for the wealthy.It would become even more Plc than FC…..


Condescending manner on the quiet vouchsafed open David?
Cum Scientia Humanitas

sevco conferment FC.

Weev’e all got families to feed even eejit’s like Murts. eh Rob.


Is that Gary Barlow and the lads softening up the *rangers players with a couple of numbers before giving tax advice.

Rob O'Keeffe

Caption: I’m sitting next to really stupid…..


Caption: ” Right someone has stolen the DVD & Video recorder…..Stevie…any thoughts? 🙂


Surface. 7IAR

Keep schtum…a WASP(SDM was duped) has the favour of of the two he faced.
Fvck they mammy fvckers.

Have they fabled du ricochet halls?

sevco deficient tales FC.

FANTASY,FANTASY thy orange aliment.



“Get me a ticket for an aeroplane
Ain’t got time to take a fast train
I have come undone, won’t be managing the hun
‘cos UEFA sent me a letter

Well they sent me a letter
Said I couldn’t manage in Europe before
I get the Pro licence I need
So I’ll have to study much more


Alzyerpal…nicely done 🙂


Firstly i think the new pitch looks great, befitting of the worlds greatest cub & support.
But can we stop with all this fancy lighting pish ?
We needed new foodlights and the LED oes will be good, but do we need the fancy stuff, the coloured lighting displays?
I’m an old fashioned guy when it comes to the fitba.
Miss the days of paying into the Jungle after a few cans of Tennents.
Poor a condition the stadium was in, it was still a magical place to go.


l & n


Monti I miss being 18 but those days are gone mate.


Sadly so comrade, taken over by the prawn sandwich brigade now!
God bless the Jungle!


Monti… Alcohol is the great leveller. WE ALL end up in the gutter at least once 🙂


For Maryhillbhoy & Monti



We’re trying to get a Euro final and we host that rugby final next year. All about generating extra revenue.




What’s GMac daein Tom
What’s GMac daein.


Well at least we’re not at ibrokes

Mike Annis

So another reason for the silence from CP. I wish your theory were so but I’m of the cynic school and think they don’t actually care as long as the money rolls in. Hope to fek I’m wrong.

Caption: Of course we’re well off and no Sevco player would ever sell the jerseys but we haven’t a scoobie we’re our trousers went.


Well, if nothing else, I hope your rumour of catching the post 2024 train before she sails ((c) Carla in “Cheers”) has Maxwell, Petrie and Dungcaster shitting themselves and maybe, just maybe, begin to wonder how to clean up the game in Scotland.

Great stuff. Thanks.

What would we do in the close..D season if it wasn’t fur rumours.#

If it wisny fur a rumour where wid we be,
drinking Murphy’s beer in the lav a toree.
If it wisny fur the Celteek, what would we do,
pished oot oor minds, looking fur were shoe’s.

is it Really,The Real RainJurZz.But then the DeLooDeid do believe in Impossibilities.Anything from 2012 Onwards is IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!


Rocksolid center half wonderkids:
Is Danny Bhoy Rugani on his way?

Rumour mill Jumanji.


Noel Skytrot

It would be great if this happens and we leave the cesspool that is Scottish football and it’s cronyism. Again, if anyone thinks that Maxwell and co won’t favour the “puddle drinkers” they need to think again. AOBC has been their mantra for a long time and we should never forget that. Fuck the SFA


Gary, can you tell the journalists that I’m not singing the Billy Boys for them today. They really like that song don’t they?

George Lazenbhoy

Caption: so this goes out to all my new rangers family…… Oh father, why are you sad on this..

Joe D

We should be fixing up the main stand rather puting fancy lights on it. That’s been needing a proper facelift for years now.

Why are Palestinians protesting in GAZA.
Read this the other day, it’s shocking.

95% of the water is undrinkable.
4 hours electricity every day.
45% unemployed.
46% kids suffer acute annemia.
50% kids express no will to live.
2 million people denied freedom of movement.
We hear your pain.

That is what oppression feels like!


Aye speculation is rife Mike and mostly pish! It is engaging to argue about it though


BroxburnBhoy…yep but still… it’s bit o’ craic

At least 58 Palestinians shot dead recently in Gaza, hundreds injured
because Trump relocated the American embassy. People shot dead, tear-gassed, Drones, Tanks, snipers, against sling shots, Molotov cocktails, stone throwers, burning tyres.. David V Goliath.
All reported by CNN as witnessed on the telly, or was it FAKE news.


Mike just to be clear, I was referring to your ditty rather than commenting on the situation in the middle east.

Phewwww thank ghod fur that, I thought fur a minute ah hid lost a pal.


No fear of that Mike


Are you suggesting Ralph feeds us pish? 🙂


Aye Ready for Rangers Palace FC…

The Gee`s to try for God luvs hymn.

Canny wait for sevco v The Buddies first game at the IOUbrox.

It`s inevitable from the Canadian computer fixture.

sevco Heriot-Watt the eff FC.

The Cha

It’s good that Cifti has gone even if we had to fully pay him up for next season.

Too often in the past we played “hardball” trying to get unwanted players to leave at cut-price but never tended to happen and suffered someone stinking the place out for a year or 2.

Not so confident about players coming in; wasn’t it all going to be done the week after the Cup Final?

I can pass on McGinn but Awesome Edward plus 1st choice CB, RB and good backup LB need signing, as Champs League starts in 5 weeks (gulp).


Caption… “…You asked what is my favourite Bond movie… let me think…oh yes… It’s… You Only Live Twice…”


OutKast`re to open the new light show at Celtic Park.



David Cunningham King(sic)nails it.



When told that his Doppelganger has been seen in and around the SEVCO Crumbledome Stevie G laughed it off saying” that’s OK, I don’t mind baring my knee but I’m fecked if I’m gaun tae show ma tit and wear an apron. That’s his joab”.


There`s blame to be had on.Shirley.
RES12`s to be answered.

If not,let`s go.


Error establishing a database connection?
It wasn’t me Charlie.



Caption: “Introducing or new penalty taker”


Caption: “Introducing our new penalty taker” take 2




Forklift sevco `R` us.


In honour of my hero Tommy Burns, i give you a rendition of “Mack the knife”


Ciftci gave us all a chance thinking we`re to play for the Bhoys.

I`ll look out the kiwi boot care from under the kitchen sink Brendan.

I`m a center half who can read the flight.





Charlie Saiz,
You are also a fan of playing with toy soldiers, tanks n guns.

Pioww pioww


Eh, it’s spelt pew, pew.


G’day Port!


G`day Monti.
From what I`ve been readin` Fife`s the new Scottish tourist board trap.

I`m tone deaf but i`d still play the tambourine.

I wouldn`t Arlene towards Foster`s lager,it`s shit Aussie headache beer.

Balance with Green,White and Orange.

Peace be with you.
They confused Catholics are a marchin` as usual.


And they think we`re made of money.


Monti,I was in the jungle when we held the red cards up to Suenesssss great day. Must have been first tifo.lassie standing next to asked if she could sit on my shoulders ?aye I said only if your facing the other way !! Gubbed from her sister .the Mynes fae stevenston ,Garry Owen bus Gormans Wullie and Owen great days


It goes to show ye can take the boy outta rural but cannae take the rural outta the bhoy 🙂


Great days m8.


There is a long and twisted road between the ECA proposing a European League and it coming into practice. The big clubs are members of the ECA, why would they like to see this come to fruition? They are doing nicely now from the restructured CL and their FA’s want them to stay in their leagues to sustain their reputation and TV revenue. La Liga without RM, Barca, Athletico, Sevilla, and Valencia is a much poorer animal to sell for TV revenue. Ditto for the other big leagues. Further would Celtic be included in such a structure and at the… Read more »

The Cha

Agreed, we’d be nowhere near the top table and probably in some unattractive bottom league with similar teams of our standing but of little interest to fans. Holland (Ajax, Feyenoord, PSV), Portugal (Benfica, Porto, Sporting), Turkey (Gala, Besiktas, Fener, Basakehir) and probably others have reasonably strong domestic competition and I can’t see them forgo that. The other issue is that we’re meant to believe that Lawwell and Desmond can’t beat King but will be big punchers in Europe. Absurd. I think this is simply a distraction and displacement activity from the reality of the past 6-7 years that UEFA Licences,… Read more »


So,so who`s the next to whittle, Close bros?
3D in the carpark.



Caption:Can you tell me which formation you are going to play when you take over at sevco

Aye say the chuckle brothers.
Tae u Stevie tae me Gary tae u tae me. Simples


sevconians dreamin` on such a silly season.

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/