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Celtic Diary Sunday May 27: Cranking Up The Rumour Mill

 

The silly season may have started yesterday, but with little to write about this morning for the mainstream media, they’ve cranked their imaginations into overdrive.

Joe Allen to Celtic ? Sorry, we’ve only just gone and had a new roof and ordered some new lights. If you’d told us before…

Might be worth keeping an eye on a couple of names from Tottenham though, Reo Griffiths, a 17 year old striker, and Georges N’Koudnou, a winger who has lost his way. which is never a good thing for a winger.

 

And don’t completely write off the chances of a return for Patrick Roberts. With Joe Hart in tow.

And who is this Jack Wilshere guy ?

Bizarrely, the media appear to have been stung by accusations that they have been a little over enthusiastic in promoting a “Summer of Stars ” arriving at Ibrox, and have now turned their attention to Celtic, presumably in the hope that Tic fans will get all upset when they realise no one wants to come to play in the backwater league up here in the frozen north -a line which hasn’t entirely been abandoned by the SPFL as the tagline for the new TV deal.

Not as upset as Steven Gerrard was last night, right enough, when he was caught on camera reading a text message from Dave King which simply said

Sorry mate, I can’t. Fucking skint. ”

 

You have to feel for Gerrard.

Image result for no i don;t

His summer of stars so far consists of a guy from Burnley, a guy from Hull and the possibility of someone who can;t get into the Brighton team.

Look, don’t worry Stevie. you’ll be fine. you’ll love it at Ibrox, you’re going to be one of the people..

Still, Hugh Burns, the RangersTV commentator and former player (not the medical condition ) claims the players that are there already are good enough, a misconception of such enormity that hasn’t been seen at Ibrox since Burns himself was deemed to be good enough.

For Gerrard, there will, however, be a little bit of the Liverpool he loves at Ibrox..especially when things start to go wrong…

During last nights Champions League final, the Liverpool stopper Karius didn’t stop a couple that he should have apparently, and their wonderful fans have already forgiven him.

Mind you, that throw…

Image result for what's the goalie daein tom

I didn’t see the game, I’m a bit of a Casualty fan. Sure, its not as funny as it used to be but it still brightens up my Saturday evenings.

Well, I needed cheering up. Down here in Stoke on Trent there’s now conclusive proof that the council are indeed pissing all over us.

We have a problem with pot holes of late, and there’s one in particular just along the road from me that is causing concern.

Image result for panama canal being built

Anyhoo, back at the ranch, and the decision to cut the away ticket allocation at Ibrox, should Celtic have to go there next season has prompted an idea or two as to how to deal with it.

Celtic should pay for the 800 tickets and fans will donate the equivalent amount to Celtic Foundation and just leave that empty space as a reminder to them why we were founded.

Not bad, or we could just not go.

By not taking up the tickets , which will no doubt be hiked to around £75 , there would be a noticable gap in their finances. Not that we ever see any evidence of their finances.

Not that they need the money…

The belief is strong in that one…and this one…

More to be pitied than scorned.

Over in the USA, there’s a media campaign designed to alleviate some of the blame from the population who were stupid enough to vote for fuckwitted Donald Trump, who proved that anyone can buy a presidency.

The idea is to absolve them of any guilt or blame by hinting at Russian interference, which makes everyone happy, especially arms dealers and right wing fruit bats.

Just an idea , but couldn’t the media in Scotland blame the SFA and get the poor gullibillies off the hook, and that way they get a nice new club and the rest of us get a nice new SFA ? 

Image result for you know it makes sense gif

 

By the way, I’m want a season book for free, and i want corporate hospitality for me and  all my pals at every home and away game.

Or else I publish this…

 

Anyone remember Eyal Berkovic ? Decent wee player, came up from West Ham ?

Of course, Berkovic forgets to mention, along with Wright and Barnes, that they were shite and acted like they couldn’t give a fuck, and to tell us we’re racist…well, we have our own directors to tell us that.

 

Now, I’m no conspiracy theorist, but there was a wee bit of grief given to Nir Biton the other day, with one Celtic supporter pretty much blaming him for all the atrocities carried out in the Palestine.

Biton felt he had to reply.

Sometimes I despair.

Nir Biton may have been in the IDF, he had no choice. military service is compulsory over there, and he may also have had his own views about what was going on over there, instilled in him from when he was very young.

I would venture to suggest that the young man who served in his countries army is a completely different fellow from the one who plays for Celtic, and perhaps the supporter who initially decided to have a go at Biton might want to take a wee bit of time and think things through as well.

If Celtic is indeed a club for all, then there can be no exceptions.

 

 

Yesterday we showed this..

Honest hoops May 26, 2018 at 1:11 pm · Edit · Reply →

Caption; why are you not at the game?..They cut the ticket allocation..here’s a cup of tea for you.. 

today..

 

 

 

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Pat Higney
5 years ago

Caption: The big bus must stay open!

5 years ago

Caption: Sevco supporters bus falls over, just outside Kilmarnock. A crucial piece of evidence is withheld from the trial.

Cortes
5 years ago

Caption: “Just the ticket, thought Paul Byrne.”

Una
5 years ago

Looks like big John didn’t kick berkovic hard enough. It sounds like a cash for stories shun article, fukin tramp.

Bognorbhoy
5 years ago

Caption ..

New Liverpool goalie boards team bus…

Celtic Symphony
5 years ago

Caption
Large man thinks to himself,that’s the bus that went through our defence when Celtic clinched the league 5-0.They’d have been better off with me in defence !

Mike
5 years ago

Caption, The Harvey Winestain express, mind your.. gap. # Me too.

Puggy67
5 years ago

Caption:Every day I get in the queue (Too much, chocolate sauce)
To get on the bus that takes me to chew (Too much,chocolate sauce)
I’m so starving I just sit and smile (Too much, chocolate sauce)
McDonald’s is only another mile. (Too much,chocolate sauce)

I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it … (You can have it!)

Pat Higney
5 years ago

Caption ‘Tam. TAM. Don’t go mate, the Celtic fans are only kidding!’

Level 5 plant
5 years ago

Berkovic was shite, I got a photo taken of him and my young lad and he stood their with a big sour bake on. Never forgave him for that. Sad excuse for a player.

Monti
5 years ago

Charlie Saiz,
Just had a wee walk round the Tayport car boot sale, there was a stall with bags of those little plastic soldiers….
If they are there the next time i’m there i’ll get you a few bags.
🙂

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  Monti

have they got uniforms on or are they shitebags?

Mike
5 years ago

There is no more beautiful country in the World as Scotland in the sun, 4 weeks of blue sky and the hills, rivers and mountains come alive, its breath taking beautiful. The sheep are wearing their sun cream, the coos are mooing all perfectly happy. Thank god we are here in this place, at this time. Make mine a “Treble Treble” barman.
Life doesn’t get any better… But hearts go out to those less fortunate than us, the poor, the disabled and the unhappy.
Hail Hail the Celts were here and the daft players are away bathing in the (ahem)… sun.

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

There is no more beautiful country in the World as Scotland in the sun

rubbish

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  FredDDobbs

F.O. and play yer wee games elsewhere, it is to me and that is all that matters. Your opinions means.. nothing to me.

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

well start yer crap wi “in ma heed”

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  FredDDobbs

Yer pal/ boyfriend thrown yeh oot dobbers? are yeh bored? naebody will talk to you, shame that, what aboot a wee trip doon the water tae CQN there’s a lot of mixed up fannies oan there eh?

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  FredDDobbs

hoi mike. you are talkin to me, no yersel fur a cheyenge

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

Mibbee, the heat gets to me… bud, I don’t like it when posters self flagellate, its annoying, but carry on, it takes all kinds. I’le let you into a wee secret, me and Fred, were a couple.

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

self flagulation is surely no better done than living in Scotland.

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

Hoi Fredo, Do you remember the “Ben Cleuch” pub in the gorbals
corner of Caledonia rd. and Florence street, it became “Treanors” bar?

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

There’s no such thing about Freudian slip, “I’ve had my suspicions” say no more, “nudge nudge”.

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

yes. It wiz a wee white building. Used to put a black box round. I once kicked a proddy bomb out of it! am I right?

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

PS. I think it was also called tuckers.

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

Treanors in Cathcart road, a guy kicked out a Celtic sports bag that blew up in the street outside. The wife’s Grandad owned the “Ben Cleuch” since 1950, when he took over the licence, before it became Treanor’s .

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

well I wiz the guy. Fucked off sharpish after that. they guy threw it in and I have no idea why I kicked it back oot. no idea whatsoever.

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

R.McL.. ? Do ya remember Derry?

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

never met derry.

portpower
5 years ago

Caption:
Bell Jr. works his ticket.

Fuctivano
5 years ago

Caption:- Sevco deny austerity measures as Jabba boards the team bus.

Honest Hoops
5 years ago

Caption; away supporters bus to ipox…..anyone?…anyone?

The Cha
5 years ago

Is that Berkovic kosher, as it seems more like the work of the Tel Aviv Loyal, as they give their Red Hand salutes?

I don’t think Palestine flags were that common when he played and the whole article reads like a typical unionist diatribe where everyone else is a terrorist and they’re all law-abiding innocent and respectful people.

5 years ago

Asswipes all of vous

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  The Deesk

And vou are the biggest one of all ya fanny.

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  The Deesk

thank you kindly. get on with it them

(_!_)

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  FredDDobbs

😉 Ha Ha. such a pretty thing so it is.

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

Yeuch.. disgusting.

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

😉

Cartvale88
5 years ago

Caption
That canny be EyalBerkovich?

The dark arts were at work last night as the establishment club one yet another trophy. Ramos is a Nast player. Well Karius can look forward to a trip north.

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  Cartvale88

Karius will be lucky to get a game fur a pub team. The whole of Europe is wondering how such a shit goalie got into the CL. After the “contest” he was greetin is his pen box and the whole liverpool team left him there. he is fucked. I hope his line was a good one.

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago

Here’s a joke to cheer you up: CS was cleaning his loft today helped by Una,now he can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair……

The wheels on the bus go round and round….not if we get the chance….Signed ISIS…..Eyal would probably call them terrorists….

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago
Reply to  Rob O'Keeffe

CS,the golf buggy is empty,the wee Celtic fan has a green football and golfers don’t sweat because they’re loaded.I rest my case…..Signed Donald(The Singer)Findlay…..

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago

One of my girlfriends told me sex is always better on holiday…….that wasn’t a very nice postcard……try the Guinness….

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago

How does Moses make tea?…….He brews………Try the Prozac and golf…….

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago

What do you say to a Liverpool supporter with a good looking woman?……….Nice tattoo……

Broxburnbhoy
5 years ago

Real Madrid and Liverpool can both get ti! Who cares about the establishment Spanish side versus a second rate EPL team of mercenaries. Pity they both couldn’t have lost. I saw Sevcos new supremo nearly greeting into his brogues. Good practice for him for next 6 months till he’s sacked or threatened. One note on that game – both Bain and Gordon seem like better keepers than the bozo in goal for Liverpool. Anyway can’t wait to get into the qualifying for Champions Leagues again. If we make it another 30m coming our way.

5 years ago

http://celticbynumberscom.ipage.com/keeping-up-with-appearances/

5490 minutes, 61 matches, 34 players, 9 months and 3 trophies. The numbers behind a double treble in terms of overall contribution.

5 years ago

Empty bus about to reach maximum capacity

5 years ago

Bus about to get a heavy suspension

Brencelt
5 years ago

Caption: Arriva? Doors too smalla

Mike
5 years ago

What about a wee bit of self flagellation this morning.

Take these chains of my back and say hello,
strike it hard, swing it fast, hear me bellow,
take these chains, strike it hard, that’s the fellow.
Take these chains ouch that’s too sair,
stoap it, stoap it, ah tell yeh.
that’s enough fur the day, where’s the antiseptic cream.

Mike
5 years ago

Craig Gordon to Man. Utd.? first it wis Chelsea and now Man. Utd.
got to hand it to his agent, he IS working hard on his behalf.
Half the support are saying “please make it true”
the other half are saying the opposite, who knows mibbee, Liverpool might call. What about the death threats too Karius, a wee bit over the top is it not. I mean FFS get a life.
Right time to put the sun cream on the sheep and adjust their sun glasses. “Lazing on a sunny afternoon” Kinky.

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

Could someone please edit his “distribution ” kicks from his presentation dvd?…..Signed Scott…..

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