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Celtic Diary Tuesday May 8: Hey! We’ll Do The Rumours

One of the most bizarre stories doing the rounds yesterday concerned the absence of Leigh Griffiths from the 3-1 win at Tynecastle.

It has been said that the charismatic striker failed a drugs test after the recent mauling of “rangers ” at Celtic Park, a test presumably taken before any of the players had a chance to go out celebrating anyway.

Griffiths responded to the stories in typical fashion..

LG 9️⃣Retweeted

Then he realised people were actually taking it seriously..

Brilliant to see people accusing me of failing a drugs test . After a short stay in hospital having a couple scans , safely home, and looking forward to being back training with the team Thursday .

There certainly were stories circulating, and its nice to see that for once, the target has just come out and ridiculed them.

Anyway, as you know, we are the guys who make stuff up, but at least what we make up has a ring of credibility to it.

Celtic managed to overcome a robust Herts on Sunday, running out 3-1 winners despite a magnificent attempt by the home side to emulate the Wattenacio style of anti football so feared throughout Europe in the latter part of the last decade.

A wee bit of creative gardening meant the grass was a little longer than usual, and Hearts captain Christophe Berra admitted that the idea was to stop Celtic from passing the ball quickly.

Then Steven Naismith, clearly showing signs of advancing age and retreating physical condition blundered into Scott Brown , and despite it happening in front of the referee and the linesman, managed to stay on the pitch to have a go at snapping James Forrest’s ankle as well.

Brown suffered no permanent damage after the stamp by the former Scotland man, but revealed he will wear his new shorts for the rest of the season, as there does seem to be a campaign to stop him breeding amongst fellow , er, professionals..

Naismith stayed on after that, but was too tired to get near anyone else, and had to settle for swearing at players as they ran past him.

There are calls for the Compliance Officer to take retrospective action, but he’s still busy re-wording the report on the Ibrox shenanigans , so it’ll have to wait.

The tackles were laughed at by fuckwitted commentary duo Ally McCoist and Steven Craigan, and if BT sport want to be considered seriously when the new TV contract is discussed, they should dump this duo to show they mean business.

The BBC were upset beyond belief, refusing even to acknowledge the result..

Hearts 1-2 Celtic: Christophe Berra kicks Brendan Rodgers criticism into long grass

2-1 ?

Rodgers had criticised the pitch..

I thought the win was outstanding,”

“But I sit a little bit embarrassed because of the pitch.

“You talk about standards, and this is a great club, Hearts, really passionate,  I felt really sorry for both sets of players.

“You saw it early on, the ball got thrown out and it stuck in the grass it was that long.

“It’s not just to suit us, I’m talking about football in general. I was disappointed from a footballing perspective.

“It was the first time I said to a team of mine ‘building the game from behind is a huge risk because the ball is getting stuck’, so at half-time I said we had to play a more direct game, and from there we dominated the game.

Berra responded with;

“It depends what team you’re playing.

“You’re not going to have it nice and slick for Celtic with their top players. At the moment, we’re not at a place to be competing with Celtic at that level.” 

Or you could teach your own players to pass a ball, and encourage them to practice it..

But thats not their way, and although some Scottish sides have progressive coaches, such as Kilmarnock and Hibernian, there are still one or two of the old school who refuse to move forward.

Its not only the team who have a piss poor attitude, the stewards were at it as well..

The Evening times picked up the story..

THIS is the shocking moment security stewards seem to be forcibly closing the gates on desperate fans as they tried to enter Tynecastle Stadium. 

Seem to be ? There’s a video online that shows they did.

The disturbing video, uploaded on Twitter by Carol O’Connor, was shot on Sunday at the Edinburgh park before the Ladbrokes Scottish Premiership match between Hearts and Celtic.

Carol, who was at the game, captioned it: “Folk getting crushed at hearts.”

 

In the clip, fans can be seen making their way into the stadium when stewards, security staff and police officers start closing the gates on supporters who were still making their way in 

On twitter, one fan referred to the policing standards..

RaisedOnCeltic@Raised_OnCeltic 

20 minutes until kick off and police trying to herd us down this path to stadium. Horses at side and aggressive policing. Shambles. Jumped queue. Not taking wean through that. 

The same poster also showed a supporter being ,er, challenged , by a steward…

Interestingly, G4S are the company that has just been selected as the governments first private police force.

Perhaps they will, in time, drop the G4 from their name and add another S….

Peter Lawwell and the board are notoriously slow to defend their cash cow support.

To not demand action from Hearts, and the police, after this treatment of the support is unacceptable. 

Time to show that they care…

Kilmarnock are next up tomorrow night as Celtic finish off the season with two home games. There was always going to be a home midweek game purely to annoy Celtic fans, and perhaps even affect the match day revenue…all these little things add up to an attempt to curtail Celtic’s finances, don’t be thinking anything else.

Oddsone Edoard is injured, Leigh Grifiths is still in custody,  leaving Moussa Dembele as the only forward option.

Others, such as Stuart Armstrong and Scott sinclair may feature, the latter delighted to get on the scoresheet again in Edinburgh.

These two work well together, and maybe their lack of appearances together has affected their form.

Armstrong is expected to leave in the summer, which may mean to get Sinclair back to doing what he is capable of, we need to find him a new playdate.

 

As has been the norm under Brendan Rodgers, expect the transfer business, or at least the bulk of it, to be done early.

That should include Edouard signing up for the long haul, and its not surprising really, as the spirit world has been dropping hints for a while now…

 

With , as far as we know, John McGinn set to join, and the net being cast for at least one more central defender, the management are keen to get it all in place quickly.

That includes a return for Gary Ralston, who has done well at Dundee United. Mikael Lustig is not past it, and should be good for at least another year, and after that he can mentor Ralston, as long as the big Swede is left to do his own job, and not have to cover for his team mates.

Speaking of Dundee united, were they having a pop at someones tendency to be distant from the truth ?

During last nights play off game with Livingston, they made a substitution..

Ah, to that summer festival of fun at Ibrox…

Yesterday was a bank holiday, which meant that Dave king could let the support down gently with a media briefing outlining his plans to fund the Gerrard Revolution.

Which amounted to a new share issue to raise £6m.

Enough to cover the day to day losses.

Gerrard may well be the first manager ever to resign before he even takes on the job.

As far as we know, he’s quit drinking because apparently the last time he had a few beers he did something really stupid, and he is suffering from the “fear “.

How stupid ?

Well, here’s a post from Kerrydale Street that sums up where the Ibrox giants stand..

Note its former media man Jack Irvine in the reply.

And then theres the BBC, who have finally started to ask questions…

Well, a man at the BBC..

Anyone care to explain how this works: convert debt to equity, raise money by issuing new shares, at the same time that you’re required, under protest, to offer to buy out shareholders, using money you can’t get out of South Africa? 

Fraser is the BBC Scotland business and economy editor, and as a result perhaps someone who the sports hacks should have consulted about the business dealings at ibrox, perhaps as far back as the last twenty years or so.

If not him, then someone similar might have been able to help them report accurately on the goings on over there.

Gary Ralston, at the Record, is blissfully unaware of these rules…

Dave King insists Celtic will fold like ‘a pack of cards’ if Rangers win just ONE title

The Ibrox chairman reckons their city rivals depend on Champions League cash as he vowed to back Steven Gerrard all the way in toppling the seven-in-a-row champions. 

In yet another fawning piece of fiddling with each other under the table, Ralston gives King his head to try to reassure the hordes.

Its not even worth reproducing, suffice to say that there are no difficult questions, and even less convincing answers.

All king does is talk about Celtic, ironic considering their support use obsession as their first default argument when they are being laughed at.

A few days ago, the diary predicted that they wouldn’t get Gerrard, they wouldn’t get any fresh investment, and they wouldn’t get anywhere near Celtic.

Two out of three ain’t bad, and I’m still fairly sure of the hat trick.

Gerrard has been talking though, and he might still turn up in June. He outlined the type of player he wants.

“If you are not a hungry footballer, you shouldn’t be at Rangers. Simple as that.” 

I think I’ve seen his first two signings..

Image result for fat football team

There has been no diary over the last two days, the garden won’t build itself..

So we go back to Saturday for this picture..

Image result for jimmy bell rangers

Allybhoy May 5, 2018 at 8:53 am · Edit · Reply →

WTF another fekin fenian? I’m off and filing my claim for ‘Constructive Dismissal’ 

Today…

One wag has already filled this in…but can you do better ?

 

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Monti
5 years ago

It’s Anthony Ralston, not Gary….come on you!

Admin
5 years ago
Reply to  Monti

He does that on purpose to ensure people actually read the piece and don’t just come for the picture gags

Monti
5 years ago
Reply to  Monti

🙂

D'Fhinnein Mick
5 years ago

RALPH

I was disgusted at the co-commentary on Sunday. BT need to ask themselves why that is deemed acceptable in their Scottish coverage.

Anyone attempting similar in their EPL coverage would have been hooked,and never invited to return.

Cortes
5 years ago

Caption: Dear Lord, a’body kens it’s “Kafflicks!”. I blame the schools.

Monti
5 years ago

Caption: ” Tactics today are 4-4-1-1 John Kinsella up front in the hitman role.”

D'Fhinnein Mick
5 years ago

CAPTION

Is there no relief for the widow’s son?

Noel Skytrot
5 years ago

Caption: Jimmy(I look like the monster from the predator movies)Bell welcomes the new Sevco boss to the Stade de Lies. Has anyone saw the video of them meeting, Bell is clearly not a big fan.

henkesdreadlocks
5 years ago

Caption……..

comment image

puggy67
5 years ago

Caption: The first whiter that white ‘Ranger’s’ board in their short history.

Hoop hoop hooray
5 years ago

Caption

Phew! A towel! How far. An I throw it?

Lepanial
5 years ago

Caption: I’m here to welcome all the new signings but I can’t find them!

5 years ago

Caption: “Stevie – over at celtic, they make new players stand up and sing in the dressing room. Here, we make our new managers draw a wee box of minty sweeties. Cardinham got his jotters for daring to draw a caravan on it, while Murty kept drawing red slippers on it, whilst muttering “I wish I was in kansas!”

5 years ago
Reply to  Steven R

Caption: “Stevie – over at celtic, they make new players stand up and sing in the dressing room. Here, we make our new managers draw a wee box of minty sweeties. Caixinha got his jotters for daring to draw a caravan on it, while Murty kept drawing red slippers on it, whilst muttering “I wish I was in kansas!”

BJF
5 years ago

I think these are the best of days so we need to avoid the whinge, of course evrybody’s against us, we win all the trophies, play the best football have the biggest and best support, what else would the rest do but like to see us put down.
I wish Brendan had said nothing about the pitch, you get pitch narrowers and widen the pitch guys it’s part of tactics to nullify superior opposition. BR did the right thing tsctically and
we win comfortably.
Similarly looking for sympathy for Broonie is crazy, he imposes himself physically and sometimes illegally on opponents. Levein had two tactics for Sunday, the pitch and get Brown either sent off or carried off, naturally with a genius like Levein both failed, is he related to Dave King? As for McCoist he is just a clown to amuse those who hate Celtic, Sutton calls them out every week, better than Packie, a genuinely nice man, treating them with respect.

Gerry
5 years ago

They really are dragging this out trying to take all the newspaper coverage away from 7 and hopefully the double treble; must be tough being irrelevant.
Anyway onto our team and the build for next season. Despite the recent two games providing the brutal clarity of how far away they are, the league table doesn’t look as good. Considering we have taken 9 from 9 against Aberdeen and 10 from 12 against the undead we remain only 10 or 13 points clear. That means we have only performed just as well as those two against all the rest. Who knows what Hibs will bring next year having consolidated so well in their first year back, under a good manager, and a team who have proved against us that they are happy to go toe to toe. The defence while shaky and needing some surgery needs to be in addition to some creation, don’t know who we can attract and/or what they can bring that we don’t have. I had expected Roberts and then Musonda to bring that this season rolling into next but injuries and a lack of whatever with Charly mean that I’m still waiting for that extra bit of magic.
Who knows perhaps Sinclair will find form, James will keep going and be supported by more consistent fitness in Armstrong and Rogic and we’ll be alright; I’d just like to see us return to the consistent form of last year as much as possible

charlie
5 years ago

caption is that a new tactics board efter miller broke the auld yin on murtys heid allegedly

DannyBhoy
5 years ago

Caption:
C’mon the Hoops!
Stevie G

50 Shades of Green
5 years ago

Caption…..

Lourdes hen dont come in here daddy’s working.

charlie
5 years ago

cs a got yer reply fae yesterday but do you have any idea whose got them other penny shares as a canny find a list anywhere

Admin
5 years ago
Reply to  charlie

I could only find one about Sandy Easdale getting 1m penny shares, Ally has some too, can see a definitive listing though, if only they were listed and had to meet transparency demands!

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/…/rangers-sandy-easdale-buys-1m-shares

charlie
5 years ago
Reply to  Desi Mond

cheers desi a wis jeest wondering how many wer out ther

charlie
5 years ago
Reply to  charlie

he he

5TB
5 years ago

Caption

Bag packing day at Lidl.

BroxburnBhoy
5 years ago

Honestly King is comedy gold and at the same time pathetic. His smoke and mirrors act was ably enabled by a very poor decision from Gerrard who is about the find out there is no money and version 3 is more likely to come sooner rather than later. The folks like a pack of cards comment is pure wishful thinking and complete nonsense for which he should be totally satired without merci. At the end of the day we just need to keep on winning and winning and eventually sevco will collapse under its debt. They are too arrogant to see targets like finish above Hibs and Aberdeen. No they have to win the league and compete with Celtic and get to the CL – totally laughable utter nonsense spouted by a snake oil salesman to a toy town press and media.

Monti
5 years ago
Reply to  BroxburnBhoy

BB,
He’s a fucking twat

Jinkylarrson
5 years ago

Caption…. hey Stevie stop singing You’ll never walk alone.

Bognorbhoy
5 years ago

Caption …

That tactics board better be screwed tighter than kingy is screw the fans larrrrrrr….

Cause when they see my tactics the players will go ballistic….

Devoy45
5 years ago

What proof does anyone have that John McGinn is coming to Celtic or even wants to come to Celtic?

BroxburnBhoy
5 years ago

Caption: Gerard to Staff – why is the tactics board blank? Ohhh is that what it is !!

Michael Doyle
5 years ago

What’s your daughters name again Steven?

BroxburnBhoy
5 years ago

I do – I bet Lawwell and Desmond are getting plenty of after dinner speaking material here. Also they need to complain to Hearts and Police about the treatment of Celtic fans atbthe weekend and publicly ask when the Compliance Officers license report will be ready

Patrick Street
5 years ago

If it is Rangers tactics board it should really be in its normal state…blank.

Cartvale88
5 years ago

Caption
SG sees the future at Ibrokes, blank.

All the criticism comes down to one thing a gutless board. Sunday and the way fans were treated at Hertz horrendous, The lack of proper safety for Celtuc players, where wee lunatics lunge at opponents in a seriously dangerous way, Levein bumping his lips about Broonie, basically bringing the game into disrepute, allowing players to behave as thugs.
Three points they could raise.
The carry on at Ibrokes, Buckie bottles flung at Leigh, monkey chants at Sinclair, nothing done.
The coverage of the game on Sunday by Rory the Hun, Craigan and Sally is the issue, every bit of anti Catholuc/Celtic banter is Cheeky.
Sorry enough is enough get your fingers out and star defending Celtic and its values, threatening people with legal action if there are mistruths printed. Taking issue with the SPFL about the ongoing Sevco saga, using your muscle and realising this is 2018, not 1918.

puggy67
5 years ago

Caption: Dave King puts on a false beard starts humming sunrise early in the morning and asks ‘can you tell what it is yet?’to the Scottish MSM

Noel Skytrot
5 years ago

I read that Fernando Ricksen is in a right bad way. I don’t like that mob but you’ve got to tip your hat for the way that he’s handled this with total dignity and courage. You feel for his young family and always remember our greatest player was taken by this horrid disease. Shame.

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago
Reply to  Noel Skytrot

Ricksen was a tosser but feel sorry for his kith and kin…..

Monti
5 years ago
Reply to  Rob O'Keeffe

Rob,
Do you have any first hand experience of someone living with MND?
Just wondering like…

Leões de Lisboa
5 years ago

Caption:

Eat world class breakfast and don’t forget to feed Jabba’s squirrels.

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago

Tossers: Salary,Craigan,Levein,Naygood,Laugherty,Gangsta G,Dave(more crooked than Ralph),Non-Takeover Panel,Farts groundsmen,Glasgow Council(Health and Certainly not Safe Dept),Masons,O.angepersons,most of Ayrshire,Larkhall,Airdrie….have I missed anybody?…..

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago

Note the bottles of water,sponsored by Lourdes,just in case things start to go a wee bit wrong…..

Doc
5 years ago

Not a caption but what I found quite funny was ‘rangers tactics board’ having to be written onto it, it reminds me of when I used to play and the club name would be inked onto balls, corner flags and anything else that could be stolen.

jimmybee
5 years ago

Caption:More Blacks, More Dogs, More Irish.
That will teach Jimmy dont ye think says Stevie G as he puts his marker down.

jimmybee
5 years ago

If Aberdeen fans are happy with mcInnes as manager they are as bad as that mob at sevco.
FFS second place should have been easy for them but failing to beat sevco when a victory is paramount at home is shocking.
I would want him sacked if it was me.

Monti
5 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Jimmybee,
Sevco have had a couple of draws at Celtic park, should we sack Brendan?
Frustrating Aberdeen didn’t win last night but if Hibs win their next two games, problem solved m8

Monti
5 years ago

We are Cliftonville!

Monti
5 years ago

Dave King seems a bit obsessed by Celtic, maybe if he was obsessed with paying his taxes, he would still have that £40m in his back pocket, you know the 40m he had to pay to avoid an 80 year jail stretch.
Thick as mud this cunt!

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