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Celtic Diary Saturday May 5: Pantomime Gets New Headline Act

We got it wrong.

You’ll notice its “we ” when the diary is wrong, and “I ” when it gets it right.

Steven Gerrard has taken the managers job at “rangers “.

No, I can’t figure it out either.

For all the money in the world, and all the material pleasures and treasures it can get you, there are some things that I could not bring myself to do.

Stevie Meets Jimmy

I could take the job, the damage caused by the previous seven managers would pale into insignificance compared to what I could do in a fortnight, even with a day or two off, but to shake that mans hand…no, especially not without commenting on the number thirty two shirt and asking him if he thinks we should sign Stephen Ireland.

Whatever else you may say about Dave King, he must be one hell of a negotiator. Then again, a good liar just tells one what one wants to hear.

It probably helps that succulent lamb was back on the menu.. served by Neil Cameron, of the Ibrox Evening Times

it was a fine debut for a man who did not get a single word wrong in his hour or so in front of the cameras and tape recorders.

Before Gerrard graced us with his presence, the small but beautiful Ibrox suite resembled a wedding party waiting for the bride. An odd silence descended, none of us really knew what to do and there was an awful lot of cameras.

The new Rangers manager, as he did as a player with Liverpool and England, walked out first; leading King, Mark Allen and Stuart Robertson. He wouldn’t have meant it, probably, but this was the new man letting everyone know who the boss was.

And the new boss was boss, as they say in his native city.

Gerrard struck the right tone. He was quiet but steely. Every question answer directly and honestly. It will never catch on. 

then there’s the sycophantic Chris Jack, who took his willy out of his hand long enough to type..

THE phone had rung before and the offers had come on several occasions. This time, it was different, though.

In many ways, Steven Gerrard’s move to Rangers doesn’t make a lot of sense for either party. But, for both, it somehow feels right.

The attraction for Gerrard is clear, as it is for Rangers, and those positives on their respective sides of the dilemma outweigh the negatives and quell the doubts.

The mission that the 37-year-old has accepted has been written off as impossible in some quarters as Rangers look to halt Celtic’s run of titles at seven and re-establish themselves as the dominant force in Scottish football.

In tasking Gerrard with that ambition, there is no doubt that Rangers have taken a risk. He is untried and untested as a manager, but that didn’t dissuade the 7,000 supporters that welcomed him to Ibrox on Friday afternoon.

Rangers could have gone for a more obvious option and hired a more experienced boss, while Gerrard could have opted to begin the next stage of his career at a club with lower expectations and where the spotlight doesn’t shine nearly as brightly.

Yet the lure of it all has brought them together. Now both will hope that it was meant to be.

In just a few paragraphs, Cameron and Jack have  set the tone for the media agenda over the next few weeks, although it’s unclear when Gerrard actually takes up his seat on the white horse.

The main BBC report last night simply said he will take over ” in the summer “.

After any tv commitments he has at the World Cup ? As long as he has funds to spend ? If he can have sunday mornings off to go to Mass ?

Something still doesn’t sit right about this appointment, but for now I’ll-sorry, we’ll-have to accept that there is some kind of deal in place, and that Gerrard is going to be manager of “rangers “.

One thing that doesn’t sit right for me is using a practising catholic to sell season books to an anti catholic core support, a support they would have produced an orange strip for had Hummel not refused to stoop that low, shows perhaps a level of disdain for the fans matched only for their desire to get their hands on the season book money.

But we knew that.

And still the media refuse to defend the supporters, even by asking just a couple of tricky questions.

As for Steven Gerrard, he seems a nice but dim sort of fellow, and I’d advise him to keep his bank cards separate from his PIN number for a while.

And under no circumstances should he get involved around the poker table with anybody. Anybody at all.

Otherwise he might find out that he will be “advancing ” the warchest himself…

I just hope he and his family come out of this unscathed.

He should beware the old adage, as indeed should the support.

If you lie down with dogs, you get fleeced. ( Are you sure thats right ?-Ed )

But all could be above board, as over  on follow follow, there’s news of just where the money is going to come from to fill the warchest..

They will never learn.

I would venture to suggest that once the season books have flown off the shelves, King will use that money to avoid the cold shoulder.

This foreign investment they speak of cannot possibly exist, unless its dirty money, and to put dirty money through a football club is almost unheard of except…oh, hang on…

Mind you, one reporter does seem to have gone right off lamb..

Perhaps he’ll be the guy with the balls to ask Paul Murray why he bailed out just before the biggest ever signing in Scottish football history was announced…

 

Right, its a holiday weekend, and thats the cue for even more celebrations back at the ranch…

Its Tynecastle, and I’m all kitted out for fun..

Image result for flared trousers mens

Image result for buckfast

Image result for house bricks

Ah, wait, here’s a message from John Paul Taylor

Message from Edinburgh Police for Sun: Any flares, alcohol and items which could cause harm if thrown are strictly forbidden. Officers will be enforcing the city’s drinking by-laws and so consumption of alcohol in the street will not be permitted. Otherwise, enjoy yirsels 

Bollocks.

Is it on tv ?

Brendan, for fucks sake don’t take that to the game with you. Otherwise it’ll end up in the Police Officers Club Bar.

Right, Mr Rodgers, I hope you haven’t been idle while the mighty Gers have thrown down the gauntlet..

We hear he hasn’t, and may we be the first to congratulate Oddsone Edouard and welcome him to Celtic….on a permanent basis.

Image result for odsonne edouard signs deal

He won’t be joined by Charley Musonda.

Rodgers said of the Chelsea man..

He’s probably not played as much as he would have liked, but there are obviously reasons for that.

“I’ll always bring players to develop them and, in the main, it’s normally what happens when they are in my environment.

“At times, there are things off the pitch that people won’t understand. It’s difficult for players when they move to different cities and areas. Everything can be tough. 

Then again, we already have a number ten, and although he’s been away for while learning his trade, he’s ready to come back now… Ryan Christie…

“It is definitely a positive that Celtic want me and it gives me the confidence I am not being forgotten about. They are still watching me and I can still have a future at Celtic.

“It is a compliment and it is important to me in these next two games against top players in the league to prove that I am good enough to slip back into Celtic.” 

At Aberdeen he stood out in a poor side…how will he perform with better players around him ?

It worked for Kristoffer Ajer….Christie deserves a chance as well.

We could lose Tom Rogic, but Christie has been patient and worked hard, and has thus earned a crack at Tom’s job.

Whatever happens, the recent acquisition of a new manager over the river is irrelevant.

We are going for a back to back treble, and we need to keep up the momentum of last week.

Lets go break some Hearts!

Yesterday, we had this..

For the observation alone..

Bognorbhoy May 4, 2018 at 9:44 am · Edit · Reply →

Caption
..at the back of picture…

A young B.F.D.J. waits for his lightbulb moment….

Zoom in to see a zoomer 

Today…

Image result for jimmy bell rangers

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5 years ago

Jimmy calls the Rangers Presbyterian Society meeting to order

5 years ago
Reply to  Desimond

HUN B O for men.not for bhoys

Allybhoy
5 years ago

WTF another fekin fenian? I’m off and filing my claim for ‘Constructive Dismissal’

Ian Smith
5 years ago

“His fucking daughters name is fucking what?”

Monti
5 years ago

Caption: ” I wish we were still rangers “

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago

Honestly,how could Gerrard put that rag round his neck and play up to those scumbags when he is totally aware of what they are all about?……Bring it On Gerrard,if you have any On to bring…..

Noel Skytrot
5 years ago

Check the dial and body language on that reprobate, talk about staunch Calvinism, has someone stole his Acdo?

Caption….Cold shoulder? i’m not washing that fenian bastards kit.

Monti
5 years ago
Reply to  Noel Skytrot

Which one? 🙂

Noel Skytrot
5 years ago
Reply to  Monti

That wanker Bell, Monti.

Cortes
5 years ago

Caption: “That man’s wearing Harmony Row Just for Orangemen.”

D'Fhinnein Mick
5 years ago

CAPTION

Canny wait for the boss and most of the players to get back from Mass.

Cortes
5 years ago

“Incel? Incel! I’m no fucking incel! I’m an inGER!”

5 years ago

Caption: smile!.. Gie yer arse a treat!!

5 years ago

http://celticbynumberscom.ipage.com/5-star-celtic-7-up/

5-star Celtic scored 4 goals in 12 minutes to clinch 7 championships in a row. A veritable numbers feast in the sun. Like that? You’re in the right place – read on.

Tourtenay
5 years ago

According to some French newspaper reports Big Eddi Oddsone is a Celtic player on a permanent basis, deal to be completed by June.

I wonder where Moussa is going!!

HH

Mike Annis
5 years ago

Caption…….it doesn’t need one. Pic speaks for itself, the face of a bitter twisted hun being happy.

Devoy45
5 years ago

7000 supporters welcome Steven Gerrard to Sevco, while the other 40,000 urge him to “go home, the Famine’s over”. Unless Gerrard is an Uncle Tim, he might have mentioned this in his contract: stop the song, or else I’m off home, to Liverpool, since I’ve never lived in Ireland! No single newspaper has mentioned this umm….errm…contradiction. Gerrard is the first Catholic of Irish descent to manage any team out of Ibrox. Maybe they are hoping he might be for them what the socialist protestant miner Big Jock was for us. I think Steven Gerrard is a decent man and was an exceptional footballer but for him, think John Barnes. It will end in tears. I’m surprised he took the job but I’m not worried. He’ll last until Christmas. I also want to say I know many Rangers (auld Rangers and Sevco) supporters and none of the ones I know are racists, bigots or idiots. They were ‘born’ to support their team but do not endorse the worst aspects of their support. They will support Steven Gerrard with no regard for his ancestry. I wish there were a few more of them. Mainly, I feel sorry for Steven Gerrard.

5 years ago

Why would Murray and Scott resign?

Level 5 plant
5 years ago

Ffs this place is turning into the vatican!

portpower
5 years ago

Francis has sent The G a black horse.

Killie by 14.

jimmybee
5 years ago

Caption : Oi Jimmy wheres the rest of your team
At fuckin mass Billy.

TicToc
5 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Ha, 🙂
HH

Pat Higney
5 years ago

Caption: Prick

jimmybee
5 years ago

Steven Gerrard has sold his soul to the devil.
A guy who paid his own way to seville to watch the bhoys in a retro Celtic top.
A family staunch in its catholic heritage,sold out for 30 pieces hang your head in shame ya tosser fuck ye hooe yer next shites a hedgehog.

TicToc
5 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Jimmy, I suggest you sit back and let this play out a bit…..
There’s a lot more shit to come out of Ibrox and Ralph will ensure we have a ring-side seat. Watchin’ that shower repeatedly shoot themselves in the foot is slapstick comedy of the highest order (ordure?) and it’s far from over. One day, SOMEONE will leave there and ‘spill the beans’ to a media far, far away from Scotland and the Truth will out. Steven Gerrard may just turn out to be that “SOMEONE”.
HH

FredDDobbs
5 years ago

Gerrard is a egotistical hun bastard. Who can blame him for wanting cured

FredDDobbs
5 years ago

Stan Collymore

@StanCollymore
Hail Fucking Hail.

10 in a row baby!

Stan the man

BJF
5 years ago

It is simple he thinks the job will help prepare him for his real
ambition managing Liverpool, he is just using the new club.
Graham Spiers on Radio Scotland was taking about the dogs own abuse he got in social media by just posing the intelligent question; if this is a big club and a huge amount of money is to be spent why would you put someone in who has never done the job, fair question?
Spiers also posed the question; if Thesea May has lost 4 of her big players, Michael Fallon, Damien Green, Amber Rudd and Pretti Patel, is she a poor team manager. What he failed to do was link the two items, clearly Stevie G should have been appointed Prime Minister, a dysfunction team, witless supporters and no money, what’s the difference?

5 years ago

Caption….Fasten Yer Seat Belts.The Shite has hit the Fans,Again…HfH

Yoker Bhoy
5 years ago

That Jimmy Nichol must be a right stinky skunky bastard, every time he appears in a photo naebody wants to sit near him. I’d be surprised if Gerard lasts more than half a season.

It’s a pity about Musonda as I had high hopes for the lad. I really thought he could bring us something different but all the signs are that his loan period will be cut short. Best of luck to him anyway. Much as I like big Ryan Christie, I have a gut feeling that Lewis Morgan is an even more exciting prospect.

Re the hertz game the morra, we don’t have much to play for except a bit of pride and a comfortable win to help blur the nasty memory of our last visit there would be nice. With an eye on the final I imagine Brendan will want to give two or three of our top players a rest and go with a couple of youngsters. Others such as Armstrong and Sinclair could do with some game time to boost match-fitness or confidence. In defence Ajer and Boyata will have a wee job on their hands to keep the shackles on that frankenstein monster ‘Lurch’ Lafferty while Griff deserves a chance to shine in a game that he would certainly relish. Compper is still injured and it has to be said that Dedryk Boyata’s performances have improved a lot lately, which is good news. Hopefully we’ll be in for an entertaining game with a decent performance and another 3 points.

Bain

Lustig Boyata Ajer Miller

Ntcham Armstrong

Johnston McGregor Sinclair

Griffiths

Subs: Gordon, Tierney, Hendry, Kouassi, Roberts, Rogic, Edouard

Hertz 0 Hoops 2 (Griffiths & Armstrong)

Yoker Bhoy
5 years ago
Reply to  Yoker Bhoy

The Pogues – what a fucking amazing band!

Yoker Bhoy
5 years ago
Reply to  Yoker Bhoy

jimmybee
5 years ago

Seen a video clip of Gerrard meeting rat face in the dressing room awkward.
See the queen still adorns the wall pity they didnt pay her taxes.

BroxburnBhoy
5 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

I suppose they miss the irony of that Jimmy. Adorn your stadium with symbols of your loyalty, then purposely cheat the Crown that you’re supposedly loyal to of her taxes! Hypocritical just begins to describe it.

Cartvale88
5 years ago

Caption
It wisnae me that farted

Ah the media are in the middle of a dung heap and can’t smell the shyte, deluded loons.
Methinks Gerrard has looked at BR success in Scotland and having the Enhlish attitude thinks he can make the Wankers successful.
He is to continue to be a pundit then swan into Ibrokes and turn it around with McAllister, what a fool. He does not get the rampant hordes and if the wheels come off what will happen.
King has treated the Gullibles with contempt yet again to sell them season tickets.
Great news that Eddy is going to be on a contract, hopefully all this draw will ensure two quality defenders and maybe a goalkeeper that can pass the ball.

charlie
5 years ago

tennents irish cup final on bbc2 n ireland live at 2oclock good luck weered COYBIR

charlie
5 years ago
Reply to  charlie
charlie
5 years ago
Reply to  charlie
charlie
5 years ago
Reply to  charlie
charlie
5 years ago

2-0 cliftonville joe gormley double

James61
5 years ago

Caption
Stevie G and his backroom staff are away to mass and left me on my lonesome.
HH

charlie
5 years ago

caption wot a cunt

Pensionerbhoy
5 years ago

Ralph,

Before i post my caption, I know it will disappear into the rooftops of Manhattan. But here goes anyway.

H H

Pensionerbhoy
5 years ago

Caption:

I feel pretty
Oh, so pretty
I feel pretty, and witty and gay
And I pity
Any girl who isn’t me today

I feel charming
Oh, so charming
It’s alarming how charming I feel
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I’m real

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face
Such a pretty dress
Such a pretty smile
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing
Feel like running and dancing for joy
For I’m loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

Have you met my good friend Jimmy
The craziest girl on the block?
You’ll know her the minute you see her
She’s the one who is in an advanced
State of shock

She thinks she’s in love
She thinks she’s in Spain
She isn’t in love
She’s merely insane

It must be the heat
Or some rare disease
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it’s fleas
Keep away from her
Send for Bomber!
This is not the Jimmy
We know!

Modest and pure
Polite and refined
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!

I feel pretty
Oh, so pretty
That Glasgow should give me its key
A committee
Should be orangized to honor me

I feel dizzy
I feel sunny
I feel fizzy and funny and fine
And so pretty
Miss Govan can just resign!

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
What mirror where?
Who can that attractive girl be?
Which?
What?
Where?
Whom?

Such a pretty face
Such a pretty dress
Such a pretty smile
Such a pretty me!

Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing
Feel like running and dancing for joy
For I’m loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

Pensionerbhoy
5 years ago
Reply to  Pensionerbhoy

f88k me gently wae a jemmy!!!! First time!!!!!!!

H H

TicToc
5 years ago
Reply to  Pensionerbhoy

PB, that’s absolutely brilliant; real belly laughs galore.
Well posted and a nice change from laughin’ at the shower from south of the Clyde.
HH

Cortes
5 years ago
Reply to  TicToc

Agree totally!

BroxburnBhoy
5 years ago

Caption: what’s jimmy daeing Tom ?

TicToc
5 years ago

Caption; Jimmy “an yoo thur, anar fenian baaasturd are ye, that fuckin’ handayoors shood be red”.

Rebus67
5 years ago

Have to say I am surprised that SG took the job but he may define ‘success’ differently from us or Sevco fans. If he finishes in the top three, which should be possible, it will be viewed in England as a reasonable performance. England is what matters for SG in the future.

His name will count for something in the dressing room and he will bring in a couple of experienced players to help him on the park. Remember, Lenny was a rookie manager and he did well!

Of course, he will not seriously challenge Celtic, but, in the short term, he does not need to. What he has to do is avoid the 4,5 goal thrashings and beat Hibs and Aberdeen more often than the other way round. He should be able to do that.

It will be interesting to see if he keeps his ‘spoiled brat’ temperament in check because he will not always get what he wants at Ibrox……they cannot give it to him.

The latter could cause him to walk.

Rebus

Doc
5 years ago
Reply to  Rebus67

Lenny knew the club very well and was our coach for two seasons before he became manager.

charlie
5 years ago
Kenny
5 years ago

Caption “ Ffs another taig as manager

charlie
5 years ago
Noel Skytrot
5 years ago

Tom the Commentator and Gregory Vignal are brilliant on Williamtv, unwell. For all the furore and hype yesterday, Billy Mc Billy hasn’t filled the Stade de Gerrard out.

jimmybee
5 years ago

God Bless Bobby Sands MP and all his gallant comrades.

“It lights the dark of this prison cell,
It thunders forth its might,
It is the undauntable thought’, my friend,
That thought says I’m right’

jimmybee
5 years ago

Caption: Would the last hun at ibrokes please take a chair.

jimmybee
5 years ago

Caption: Im staying oot here Lourdes First holy communion party is going on in there.

henkesdreadlocks
5 years ago

Caption………

Doc
5 years ago

I view the Gerrard appointment as a huge ‘get it up ye’ to Rodgers. Gerrard must know that the expectations on him will be very high so it is likely that one of them will be out of a job next summer with a tarnished reputation. He has thrown down the gauntlet to Rodgers by moving to sevco and attempting to directly challenge him.

Its a huge plus for sevco as Gerrard will help shift season tickets and it will be a huge distraction from their boardroom shenanigans and legal troubles.

Noel Skytrot
5 years ago
Reply to  Doc

Doc, it’s a Sevco squirrel. I’ll give him a sixer and that’s me being generous. We’re in a different stratosphere in comparison to William.

Doc
5 years ago
Reply to  Noel Skytrot

We are miles ahead but I’m greedy and I want more. We should be putting them to the metaphorical sword and tattooing DNR onto them. As we’ve seen in previous years, all it takes is a decent result against us, with a slice of succulent lamb, and they get the money to keep them on life support. We should be taking them to pieces on the pitch and, in the boardroom, highlighting R12, how they get a license without audited accounts, FFP, how Park can exercise control over two clubs, tapping up and all the other issues.

We need to set our sights high, spend some of our money to improve rather than replace and see how we can soar. Why stop at ten?

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  Doc

fucktard joining the hunz will guarantee mcginn

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  FredDDobbs

I think you will find you need to be asked

5 years ago
Reply to  Doc

Serious question: Did they not get on? If Gerrard coming due to a resentment it will probably not bode well for him.

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  faiithbhoy1888

rodgers was phasing fucktard oot the team. Fucktard played on like the knackered has been Rodgers knew he was. Rodgers wanter rid, fucktard knew better.

ego ego ego… GAME FUCKING ON

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago
Reply to  Doc

And that one is a turncoat……

Doc
5 years ago
Reply to  Doc

Forgot to add a caption so here it is, inspired by Team America.
Caption: I’m so rone ree.

Puggy67
5 years ago

Caption: Bell-end.

I think Sevco have done us a massive favour. Brendan is going nowhere until he’s had him punted twice. Happy days.

jimmybee
5 years ago

Thoughts and prayers with Sir Alex Ferguson tonight who was took to hospital earlier.
A socialist from the old school and one of the great managers of our time.

FredDDobbs
5 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

A socialist from the old school

I dont understand what the fuck this has to do with anything? Is this some sort of reference to current socialsts and how they embrace anti sematism. this has fuck all to to with ferguson

jimmybee
5 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Agreed m8.

jimmybee
5 years ago

Well done them

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago

Troo story….SG was asked what his favourite cheese was…..his answer…Melted……..

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago

Super Stevie is determined to stop Brendan winning the league again,after doing it at Liverpool……

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