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Celtic Diary Wednesday April 18: Shocking New Plan to Derail Celtic !

Having failed miserably on the pitch to prevent Celtic’s domination of the Scottish football scene, “rangers ” have undergone a significant policy change to do it off the field.

Its presenting far more of a challenge to Celtic than anything else they have offered so far, and I’m sure, after you have looked at it, er, seriously, you’ll be able to say with a certain level of justification that its going to be an awful lot more difficult to secure these trebles than the media experts might claim.

Their plan, you see,  might just work.

They’ve been doing it for a while, but have stepped up the pace over the last couple of days and there is now a real danger that with just two wins needed to secure back to back trebles, the side splitting hilarity eminating from all things Ibrox could be enough to break the players confidence and concentration, and allow Motherwell to pinch the Scottish cup, and the rest of the top six to record victories.

Sound daft ?

Alright, you read this and then tell me you are completely focused on beating Hibernian…

 

There’s more, but no one can be expected to read it all in one go, not without an industrial strength corset protecting those ribs from giving way.

This week it reached a new level.

Kenny miller and Lee Wallace have been suspended pending investigation, and we hear Wallace has already offered to turn Queens evidence, as grassing is legally termed, and Miller could be getting his arse tanned.

Image result for i'm here all week gif

Even this has divided the support…

And Miller, does he have his supporters out there ?

Well, he supported him for about an hour and a half..

The manager will make a statement later, although we have an advance copy..

None of them are bigger than the club, but they are all older, without necessarily being wiser.

News also broke last night that there may be a new kit deal with sportswear firm Hummel, who used to supply the kits for the fat wheezy kids who tried to avoid PE by saying their washing machine at home was broke..

And even that seemed to cause confusion..

And indeed they do…

The hummel logo is a stylized bumble bee, as hummel is German for bumble bee.[1] The company’s name is derived from the popular Hamburg greeting (“Hamburger Gruß”), which is known throughout northern Germany.

The humble bumble is, of course, itself facing extinction, which is both tragic and ironic. Like the new “rangers “, except for the bit about it being tragic.

Teams that they used to provide kits for include Benfica, Real Madrid, Red Star Belgrade, Feyenoord  and Derry City.

They now look after sides such as Telford United and Clyde.

And the Afghanistan ladies football team.

Happily for the hordes, the chap who owns Hummel is Christian Stadil, a damn fine protestant moniker if ever there was one.

Christian Stadil, the owner of Danish sports and fashion brand Hummel.

Ellie Pithers, writing in the Telegraph in 2013, said..

In person, Stadil is a bundle of eccentricities. Over the course of an hour he espouses Buddhist theology but admits he “loves to make money”; champions Danish design (he’s on the jury of the Danish Design Award) while raving about his collection of contemporary American art; and talks me through his tattoos – all 18 of them. His favourites are a pair of portraits of the musician Leonard Cohen inked on his biceps. One depicts Cohen in a hat and reads: “One of those days when the hat doesn’t help”; the other shows him hatless and is titled: “It was the hat, after all.” “I really love Leonard Cohen!” Stadil says, laughing heartily. 

A buddhist called Christian..with a tattoo of a Jewish fellow.

They’ll explode.

But wait, they might just take to him…they do have something in common..

His years spent at Herlufsholm, Denmark’s most exclusive boarding school, were more macho. Stadil took up boxing and started going to school in military uniform. “I used to wear a helmet with a camouflage net, with a water bottle in my gun holster and a BB gun over my shoulder,” he recalls. “It’s crazy, I know. Today I would be arrested for that, but they knew I was a nice guy! My teacher just told me to leave the gun outside the door.” 

He may well be in his element at Ibrox.

Image result for armed forces day ibrox

We have exclusive pictures of the new kits.

Here’s the home top..

Image result for hummel rangers top

As you can see, they ain’t keen…

Unless we are going bust and going to end up in league 2 again, theirs no way a brand like Hummel should be anywhere near a massive club like Rangers, not in a million years. 

but, as Ellie Pithers explained in the Telgraph..

In its heyday, Hummel dressed such teams as Tottenham and Real Madrid, but in 1994 it went bankrupt. Stadil bought it in 1999, when “it was absolutely not trendy”, and exploited its retro appeal. Now Hummel is enjoying a renaissance, its chevron logo jostling against Nike ticks on the streets of east London 

And in “rangers ” he has found a club entirely based on its retro appeal.

Here’s the away top..

Image result for hummel top orange

And here’s the complete third kit..

Image result for british army uniform

 Everyones a winner.

And the thing is, based on these revelations, it looks like next seasons campaign make us incontinent and incompetent with laughter is already underway, and eight in a row is going to be an even bigger achievement than seven.

We need to keep the heid and be brave against such a vehement assault on our senses.

They could well be about to play a trump card to rally the troops this week.

Murty has fallen out of favour, it seems..

oops…fickle is as fickle be…

Anyhoo, as we know, that means…

Image result for walter smith rangers

But we hear that the Messiah has turned his phone off and told his wife to “fling it in the fucking bin ” .

One of them clung to the idea of a Messiah, and contacted the one who hasn’t got a phone, in the old traditional way.

Lawriebhoy on twitter summed up this outpouring of grief superbly

Replying to  and 

Praying to a God he doesn’t believe in, about a Club he knows doesn’t exist. Sevco logic. 

but there is still hope, not a lot, but its there.

I dont think we need to spend an awful lot to take on this average celtic side. Our goalie is better our centre halfs are better dorrans and Jack areally better than brown and Armstrong. Morelos is better than dembele and griffiths.

And there could  be some money available, as yet another fans group emerged with its collection tins..

New independent Rangers supporters’ group launched to push fan ownership model at Ibrox

Follow Rangers Shareholders Ltd are aiming to influence the direction of the club moving forward. 

They actually registered themselves at Company house a while back, but were forced to change their name after a bit of trouble with an apostrophe..

A spokesperson for Follow Rangers said: “We have worked long and hard to produce a fan group model that can continually grow while acting at all times in the best interests of Rangers and our shareholder members. 

Including, no doubt, a punctuation consultant.

We recognise and applaud the work of countless Rangers fans who have held the dream of fan ownership.

“However, it is our belief that a single fan group is not appropriate for Rangers. 

Exactly. Not a single one of them is.

“We have a massive worldwide support and we believe Follow Rangers can attract people who are either not engaged or disillusioned with the existing fan ownership models.” 

Image result for please stop i'm going to pee

We hear that Brendan rodgers has called an emergency team meeting, and instructed all of the players to immediately desist from using social media, mainstream media and any reference to “rangers “, verbal or written, is forbidden.

Please, guys, keep the focus.

We’ve got all summer to go yet….

Image result for jelly and ice cream when rangers die

Yesterdays picture..

Image result for celtic 4 rangers 0 2018

PeteCon April 17, 2018 at 5:22 pm · Edit · Reply →

Caption: “Our father,
Who art a fenian,
Halliday’s a pain.
Dave King is scum
The Williams dumb as f..k down here in Govan.
Bates is away to earn some bread.
Teach us to pass as we’re getting creamed by those who pass against us.
And lead us not into administration.
But grant them not the treble.”
Amen  

Today..

Image result for dave king walter smith

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Pat Higney
5 years ago

Caption; Walter….’It’s true enough about our grandkids……look at this wee fenian b*****d next to me!’

puggy67
5 years ago

Loving the McCoist as manager text – somebody put the words to Billy Joel’s We didn’t light the fire and I’d buy it.

Caption: As the under 21 manger is sent packing the captain of the under eights is given the staunch pep-talk.

Bognorbhoy
5 years ago

Caption..

Hey granda can you remember when we were a good team ?

Nope ,that was way before my time…different times ,different club..Here have a worthers

Bognorbhoy
5 years ago

Caption 2..

Here son where’s all your pals ?

They all go to celtic park now ….. can we not go there ?

Daziekanowski's nightclub child
5 years ago

Caption: Werthers original anyone?

Phaco
5 years ago

Fucker behind Wattie trying to become a catholic. Praying his best. Hh

Mike Annis
5 years ago

Caption: You text me we were having a fun day put Grandpa. Lying wee shite.

50 Shades of Green
5 years ago

Caption….

I telt ye if you dont behave I will take you to the game, now do you believe me.

Gerry
5 years ago

That tweet about the players they have being better must be fake? Surely to God the insanity of their deluded minds was pierced by the utter drivel they watched on Sunday? It’s almost worth joining Twitter just to wind up and laugh at these sad and bitter clowns!

50 Shades of Green
5 years ago

Or

Why is he tying that Celtic scarf to the post Gramps…..

Ach he always dis it, now lets get out of here.

Mike
5 years ago

He He, a cacophony of pain, a diatribe of anguish, a tirade of sorrow,
of dreams dashed, hope’s squashed, a litany of anguish. We feel your pain. not. Mini Chedder’s, Mini Chedder’s, when your accounts go, through the shredders. The Sins of the Fathers, they were many and “Karma” is such a beautiful thing. Bye Bye.

A castle full of rascals,
A fortress full of thieves,
A basket full of Assets,
Where’s the fuckin deeds.

charlie
5 years ago

great article ralph but ffs stop puttin up awe the pictures ae gay lookin sodgers or charlie sais will be up the loft diggin oot his pin ups

GAV
5 years ago

Caption: See what you did, Granda? We’re here cos you couldny keep Sir David’s checkbook in yer cardy poakit. Even the guy behind us is praying for another Masterton. When you die, I’m done.

GAV
5 years ago

Caption: Granda, how come we always arrive early? So ye can feel whit it’s like no tae be getting humped by the tattie-munchin’ taigs, son….. Granda is that why we leave before the fitba starts tae?

charlie
5 years ago

caption walter sais a know grandson mon weel go and watch the celtic

jimmybee
5 years ago

Caption: Dont look roon Granda,but Michael O Halloren is sayin a decade of the rosary behind you. Its coz were deid son replies the cardigan.

Gash67
5 years ago

Granpa whats a LEGNED

jimmybee
5 years ago

Ralph Caption was for a change a worthy winner yesterday 🙂

Mike
5 years ago

Actors of 1916, Sean Connolly.

Sean had Republicanism in his blood, following his Grandfather and Father. Sean made a name for himself in the acting World, with an amateur company, called the Irish National Players. This led to bigger and better things and by 1916 he was in high demand as an elocutionist, reciting speeches and poetry in various Theatres across the city. Connolly was in high demand also with the Irish Citizens Army. Noted as an expert rifleman who became an instructor to new recruits in marksmanship. On Easter Monday, Sean Connolly was put in charge of second company of the Citizens Army comprising of 20 men and women. Amongst those Volunteers were his three brothers and sister Katie. While another brother Joe was fighting in Stephan’s Green under Commandant Mallin. Connolly and his company captured the under manned Dublin Castle, with the primary guards away at the Fairyhouse Races, the small company was able to enter and imprison the remaining guardsmen. Another detatchment headed further up the to City Hall and successfully barricaded themselves inside. Rifle fire rang throughout the street
and bullets cracked against opposing walls, as the remaining troops called for reinforcements. British snipers took up their positions across the various roofs and towers, fire increased and came closer to its mark. Sean was wounded early on but yet still urged his men and woman under his command to fight on. However British snipers had the vantage points and Sean was desperately exposed. A final crack rang throughout the yard of Dublin Castle, as the sniper hit his mark directly. Sean Connolly, Socialist, actor and member of the Irish Citizens Army was fatally struck down. The very first of the rebels to kill and the first rebel to be killed that gruesome week. It was recalled by witnesses that his younger brother Mark who was just 15 at the time and was on the roof of City Hall cried bitterly at his death. “We noticed Sean coming towards us, walking upright although we were advised to crouch when he was fatally wounded”.
James Connolly approached Sean and told him he had to get to Dublin Castle, shook his hand and said “Good luck Sean we will not meet again” this meeting of course took place as Sean and his company moved of towards the battle.
Sean Connolly, Socialist, Actor, Captain in the Irish Citizens Army, born in Straffan, County Kildare, died on the 24th April 1916.

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago
Reply to  Mike

Mike,excellent……

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  Rob O'Keeffe

Thank you Rob…

Frank mcf
5 years ago

Grandad what did you do in the war ?

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago
Reply to  Frank mcf

Walked Away…..

5 years ago

Caption
“Once upon a time, there was a club called rangers”

TC
5 years ago

caption: Granda whats a mausoleum and why are we sittin in wan?

James61
5 years ago

Caption
Grandpa don’t take this the wrong way but this is shite my sons will be Celtic supporters
HH

VooDude
5 years ago

Caption: “Grandad, is true you’re a cheating cunt?”

or

Caption: “Grandad, when I get home I’ll have to write a letter to Hector to thank him for all the presents you ‘bought’ me.”

or

Caption: “No Grandad, I didn’t ask if you wanted a cup of tea, I asked what’s an EBT?”

VooDude
5 years ago
Reply to  VooDude

Cocked that up! The first should have obviously said . . .

Caption: “Grandad, is it true you’re a cheating cunt?”

Monti
5 years ago
Reply to  VooDude

🙂

5 years ago

Old clubs deid new club is shite but I made millions from their misery and you’ll inherit it !

noelskytrot
5 years ago

Caption…Granda, can I not go and support the Celtic?

noelskytrot
5 years ago

First thing my work colleague shouted to me in a very loud voice across a packed office earlier….the bastards are imploding. The look on peoples faces was brilliant.

jimmybee
5 years ago

Caption : If that fucker OHalloren says one more fuckin hail mary out loud i swear to god !!!!

jimmybee
5 years ago

Caption: Mind ive got an altar boys meeting tonight at 6 granda.

5 years ago

Some of them are saying Hummel are paying them 15 million, it must be a 30 year contract. What do Celtic get from NIke? I don’t know much about these things. Or anything else. Great few days…but is this them ‘bottoming out’. I cannot imagine things getting any worse for them. I have said this before and have been wrong and I sincerely hope I am wrong again. Can anyone remember a more one-sided game against rangers, either them on top or us. I cannot remember one game being as one-sided and I attended most if not all between 1988 and 1996. Even getting hammered 5-1 and 4-1 at Ibrox, bad as they were, were not as bad as Sunday.

jimmybee
5 years ago
Reply to  john

John Celtic signed a five year deal in 2015 reported to be close to 30 million..

Mike
5 years ago
Reply to  john

With New Balance.

Monti
5 years ago
Reply to  john

Evening lofty 🙂

Marcello Stefani
5 years ago

Caption: The many joyous facial expressions of Sir Walter Cardigan.
N° 3 : Exhiliration

Jimbo
5 years ago

The gift that keeps giving. Whit a hoot!

5TB
5 years ago

Caption

Kid to ‘Walter’: Walter, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find all the spelling mistakes in these programmes.

‘Walter to kid. Mission Accepted. Right! Rainjurs…that’s no wan…

5TB
5 years ago

Caption

Granpaw, why ye hiding that Granny Smith Apple?

5TB
5 years ago

Caption

Granpaw, is Brendan going to be here today?

5TB
5 years ago

Caption

Granpaw, I don’t like your goat anymore.

5TB
5 years ago

Caption

Granpaw, will the deeds be in here?

5TB
5 years ago

Caption

Granpaw, is that roof safe?

5TB
5 years ago

Caption

Granpaw, where have the pies gone?

D J Smyth
5 years ago

My big problem after Sunday is trying to decide how good Celtic were & how poor Rangers2012 were . There was definitely a massive difference in the performance of the two teams . I loved the way all the Celtic players enjoyed the occasion, just as much as the fans . Equally I enjoyed how much the Rangers 2012 hated the result as much as their fans & were equally unprofessional in accepting what they should have known was inevitable
The problem wasn’t the idiotic cheering when they realised they were drawn against us , but the stupidity of their manager relating that on TV

Monti
5 years ago
Reply to  D J Smyth

D J Smith,
I think your biggest problem after sunday, is realising you are still an arsehole on the Monday!

Noelskytrot
5 years ago
Reply to  Monti

I see yer keeping in with the Spirit of 1916, Monti. Shots fired from yer Mauser. Lol

Monti
5 years ago
Reply to  Noelskytrot

🙂

puggy67
5 years ago

Caption: OK one more time, your pocket money is £3 but you get a loan of £7 a week from your mum and dad that you don’t need to pay back.

Hud
5 years ago

Caption-A Ginger, a f—-n’ Ginger!

Jinkylarrson
5 years ago

Caption… grandad after Sunday should we no get our strips from pummel.

greenheart
5 years ago

Can we go now, everyone else has gone granpa?
No junior its only half time.

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago
Reply to  greenheart

Caption: Wee Hun says ‘ Bloody hell,this seats facing the pitch,this old tube next to me hasn’t paid for anything and keeps banging on about HRTs or something.Wish he would do Walking Away…..

jimmybee
5 years ago

Roughly 28 million made from this seasons European campaign. Two Centre halves a right back have to be number 1 priority. Let’s hope the scouts have done their homework.

Gash67
5 years ago

Granpa Whit one is Dembele ?

Cartvale88
5 years ago

Granpa
the Griffs is cool with his keepy uppay, can u show me how he does it.

How low can this mob go in their support for a team, since Progress it has been downhill all the way. It’s amazing how many pundits in the Scotch media are ex-Huns, makes great reading the gnashing of teeth.

rebus67
5 years ago

Ralph,

Some of the response from the Sevco environment are indeed paranoid or whacky. However, we live in the era of social media and what is paranoid at breakfast can become a cult by dinner time.

I am sick of hearing about the troubles of Sevco and the supposed death spiral and I hesitate to contribute to the debate. However, what strikes me in looking at those involved with that organisation…Murray, White, Green, KIng and other supporting staffers….is that bananas do indeed come in bunches. There are common characteristics throughout that legion.

Rebus

rebus67
5 years ago
Reply to  rebus67

“are” = “is”

Bestest English, spoket here, betterer round the corner!

Rebus

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago
Reply to  rebus67

Rebus,never get tired of hearing about the “troubles” at Liebrox,these are magical times…….Sevco,I’m going to stand here and watch you burn,cos I love the way you hurt,love the way it hurts……

Monti
5 years ago

Caption: ” Grandad can we go to the Celtic game next week, all my pals go there & this is shite “

Monti
5 years ago

Caption: Grandson – ” Granda that’s Dembele scored again ”

Walter – ” Will you shut the fuck up “

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