Celtic Diary Saturday April 7: Big Investment For Scottish Club

And it isn’t one of the Glasgow ones.

We hear from an uninformed and completely unreliable source that some former peepil are pissed off with the current peepil and will be out to give them a bloody nose by putting their money into another club and creating a new force in the game.

More on this as we get details later….as the finer points are a little hazy…like our informer, to be fair.

But if you listen closely to the wind, you’ll hear howling from the direction of Govan. Well, more howling than usual.

Having already lost its tax free status, this is another significant blow to the local economy, and one from which they will do well to recover from.

Times are already tough over at Ibrox, with their spiritual leader Dave King about to be told his statement to the Takeover Panel falls short of what they have demanded of him, and it could be a tough gig for whoever is in charge of promoting season book sales over there.


Yeah, its a shame.

Todays game against Dundee might see a few shifted though… and you have to praise the Scottish Sun for trying..


Rangers against Dundee will see a £13million battle when Alfredo Morelos comes up against Steven Caulker says Roger Hannah

Roger Hannah is one of few journalists in Scotland to have a verb for a first name, along with Bill Leckie and Fuck Off Traynor.

Whilst we are on the subject of whats in the papers, this caught my eye.

Assistant referee from Coatbridge facing red card after attacking man he claims tried to rob him

GRAEME Stewart, also a serving police officer, clamped his hands around the throat of his tearful victim having earlier cuffed him in a busy McDonald’s restaurant.

Stewart has been convicted , despite denying the offence in court, and whilst that could cost him his job with the police, it should see him fast tracked to a senior position in the SFA.

And while we are talking about the police, another of our completely unreliable sources showed us this…

This is a reply from the police to a concerned member of the public regarding the Smash A Fenian march-or as the editor of the Herald claims, the perpetrator of a “dark joke”

Another day, another whitewash.

With one of their number in court convicted of assault, it appears the police have decided not to bother with reassuring the public they are up to the job.


Back at the ranch, Scott Brown has spoken about the assault on him by Andrew Davies of Ross County..

“Looking back it’s quite bad. At the time I didn’t realise how bad it was because I slid in with Billy Mckay, we were arm in arm, I fell over, pushed the ball and he’s waited for us and stood on top of me.

“But let’s be honest, if that was me I’m getting a solid five-game ban and probably not playing for the rest of the season. I’d be all over the paper for weeks on end, and he’s got a two-game ban.

“Jesus, I kicked Neymar on the back, my big toe almost touched him, and I got a three-game ban. There’s rules for some and not others. 

It’s because everyone has been talking about my tackling but I’ve never deliberately stood on anyone’s hee-haws.

“But he’s done my a favour – I didn’t want any more kids, so it saved me going to the hospital.” 

Humour, but a touch of bewilderment.

As everyone says it’s part and parcel of the game, going in for a tackle, but to do it cowardly is not great. You want to tackle hard, win the ball and it’s a contact sport, but stamping on opponents when the ball is nowhere near you is definitely not being a hard man or going into a hard tackle.

“I play hard but fair for most of them, now and then you mistime one and you get booked.

“But I don’t ever stand on anyone, especially where he stood on me. He’s waited until the ball has gone flying past and he’s properly went for it.

“You can see on his face, he’s just walked off. Being a captain of a team in a relegation battle, who has players looking up to him, to do that is not what Ross County need. 

Anyone want to join me in a sweepstake ? All you have to do is guess what time and what day Brown will be charged with bringing the game into disrepute…I’ll go for monday, noon.

And he hasn’t said a single thing anyone could reasonably disagree with.

Could there soon be another branch added to  arguably the biggest Celtic family tree ?

It would be the ultimate dream to play for Celtic one day — I think it’s a dream for most footballers.” 

Image result for chris mcstay clyde fc

Image result for paul mcstay celtic

Their styles are similar enough for me, and all good Celtic teams need a McStay…maybe not yet, but in time for ten in a row. Even if its only to see his dads face on that day.

Ah, the romance of being a Celtic supporter.

While the tears are welling, we might as well turn them on full… here’s Henrik Larsson recreating one of his finest moments for Sky Tv’s Soccer AM (Thanks to Celts Are Here )


Is it too early to start on the beer ?


Tomorrow Celtic are at Hamilton, and it might not be our day as we observe exactly how far the orange falls from the tree…

Hamilton Academical v Celtic 08/04/2018 12:30pm The SuperSeal Stadium

Referee: Andrew Dallas

AR1: John McCrossan

AR2: Ralph Gordon

Fourth Official: Barry Cook 

Maybe its not too early to start on the beer after all.

And before we go, we’ve another exclusive.

Scott Brown will not be happy that pictures of his planned outfit for the next works fancy dress do have surfaced..


Yesterday we had this picture…

Mike Annis April 6, 2018 at 9:49 am · Edit · Reply →

Caption: Mrs Fluffy preparing school lunches for the kittywinks. 



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Mike Annis

Caption: You want me to buy a season ticket for who? Oh sit down and swallow your banana.

Watched Henrik and Kevin on Socccer thingy and they got a wee bit of time alongside jokes that would embarrass Primary weans, stupid skits and ridiculing of Scottish football. I used to like this programme when Helen and Tim were running it but not it is just stupid and a waste of time.

Pat Higney

Caption; Dodgy Dave in the boardroom, “And that, my fellow peepel, is how I’m going to wipe the floor with the Takeover panel”


The GASL reading up on the rules of the takeover panel.
Or maybe the rule book for fleecing gullibillies


So the best league in the world could be decided today.Must be a shite league eh!

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Much appreciated.

Caption: the chief auditor from Campbell Dallas goes through Sevco’s accounts with a fine-tooth comb.

Hard working SFA Compliance officer says “nothing to see here, move on”

Charlie Saiz

He twists,he turns
He acts,he gurns
He hates the huns
Cheeky monkey
George Burns

Charlie Saiz

Neoliberal Economics laid bare for those remotely interested in what is actually going on.
Steve Keen the man who predicted the 2008 Financial Crash long before it happened explains why the Neoliberal approach to Economics is fatally flawed.



Caption: An Orange utan bastard!

Morelos catching up with his mandarin lessons


Celtic by Numbers. Per your instructions, you just got my vote! Good luck! I like your blog and appreciate the work you put into it. It’s very, very useful. Well done and thank you!


That caption picture somehow reminds me of…George Burns. First you forget names, then you forget faces, next you forget to pull up your zip and then…you forget to pull it up. Everything that goes up, must come down. But there comes a time when, not everything that is down, can come up. Happiness? A good cigar, a good drink, a good meal and a good woman, or a bad woman, it depends on how much happiness you can handle. If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made, not many people over one hundred…die. By the time you’re… Read more »

Charlie Saiz

See previous post Mike 😉


Smash a Fenian or Punish a Muslim, a point scoring reward depending on how much pain you can inflict on a minority. Police Scotland’s response to Smash a Fenian is…
P. Puerile.
I. Imbecilic.
S. Sectarian.
H. Huns.

Caption: Newspaper “columnist” barry ferguson proving that a monkey in glasses is still just a monkey.


Tim Lovejoy is a bit of a dick. Supported Crewe then jumped on the Chelski bandwagon. Brought a book out which was legendarily slaughtered by one of the When Saturday Comes guys. Might still be on their site. Been thinking a lot about the team for a while now and Wednesday kind of crystallised it for me. As soon as the league is won and the Cup hopefully, Brendan should push on with an overhaul. Go through the squad and ask yourself, good enough for Qualifying or Group stages ? Be ruthless here now…I’m not talking serious CL level (… Read more »


Caption: Dave King’s top lawyer reviews the first draft of the upcoming prospectus.


Stock Exchange to investigate New Sevco CEO as The Three Bears face fresh allegations of Tea Pparty take over. Dave King claims he was “Resigned”, Alleges Board involved in Monkey Business.


Caption…hun reads about all the “monkey” business over same club argument.


A young McStay eh?
Paul was a hero of mine who i was lucky enough to meet before Henrik’s last game, the Scottish cup final.
I love this man & hope his son becomes a real player!

Charlie Saiz

Did I mention my Granny was a McStay 😉


You did but i don’t believe you, you also said you served time in Northern Ireland, again i don’t believe you.
Now, back to your commando books.

Charlie Saiz

She was from Lurgan


Caption: ET, the sequel.

Celtic Mikey

Caption: I wish I was king of the jungle like chesterfield, unfortunately I am just plain old Dave king a fuckin monkey.

50 Shades of Green

Doesn’t Peter Grants boy play with Clyde also…

Monkey downs tools after being compared to Neanderthals in Govan…

Stevie D

No Clyde oot the Cunt Easterhoose films? Or was that question no about the caption competition?

Yoker Bhoy

The sheep have just lost 2-0 so if we dispose of the Accies we go 13 points clear. Come on Celtic, no fucking about this time. There’s a serious job to be done tomorrow!

AT (Tommo)

Yoker Bhoy

Caption: 50 Shades of Earl grey PG Tips


Caption: Una disturbs Ronnie corbett with her Dyson 2000.


They’re out to get us, better win if we can,
Don’t wanna be second, so play like a man,
You wanna stay first, at the top of the league,
So go for the jugular and shrug of your fatigue,
Just beat em, beat em,
Just beat them, beat them.
Take the game to them and beat them.


Beat it,

Take your bowl out and stick in some dough,
Add in some sugar and away you go,
and beat it, beat it,
give it some welly and stir as hard as you kin,
watch some dirty telly, it isny a sin,
and beat it, beat it,
put your bowl doon and beat it, just beat it.


Bit disturbing Sevco put four past Dundee & we struggled against Dundee….


What is Michel Platini doing these days?
That’s the type of man we need coaching young creative players.
A hero of mine, the man was outstanding!


Think he’s doing time for fraud…or should be. Corrupt bastard.

Yoker Bhoy

I also think he was a wonderful player Monti but the FIFA xorruption scandal in which he was incriminated along with Blatter has greatly blighted his public image and integrity. I don’t know what he is doing currently. Let’s hope we get a good result 2morrow mate.


Yoker Bhoy



Dodging the corruption police. The guy is a total cunt


caption : natcho novo reads a magazine


Caption:My career was blessed, started with Weissmuller, then the Russian space programme, Tetley ads, happy days,..then that fat fuck Johnny Vegas ruined everything.



KP owner checks out his shares value, and thinks to himself dave kings valuation of sevco is nuts.


Gotta play two up front tomorrow, the problem is scoring goals, 62 so far this season even the huns have scored 67 and it must be summit like we have had 600 attempts at goal this season. Players missing sitters, time efter bliddy time, still only 20 goals scored against us, so still on course for the same goals scored against us (25) as last season, so the defence isn’t the problem, we have to do a Cadette and put the ball in the nette, If we had scored more goals the title race would we won already and we… Read more »


Caption competition: Doncaster brushes up before assuming his new role on the SFA Board


caption john brown finds a clever hun and thinks fuck the deeds we can dae sumfin heer


Hibbed it comes to mind. How DJ McInnes hasn`t been chased by the Don supporters,i`ll never know.

“I have been lucky — lucky in those who were around me from the boardroom to the dressing-room. In time of stress, their unstinted support, unbroken devotion to our club and calmness in adversity eased the task of making Rangers FC(IL)the premier club in this our country.”


ffs port ime no sure if you straighened me oot or no but fuckit mon weel gab ya fuckin crackot ha ha aint tims grand


G`day Charlie.
What you Scotchmen do indoors within the cauld weather is up to youse.
Break a habit. 🙂

Canny change enjoyment.

Did you hear McCann goin` on about the South American sevconian pushmi-pullyu center half.

It`s fun back in the Scottish game.

Ghod loves wee fannies.


Whoops,Bruno Alves is a Portuguese sevconian pushmi-pullyu center half.

Now here`s the clincher Charlie.
Andy Halliday`s lettin` all know that he`ll be the faun in Celtic`s side.




The Celtic FC team playin` away!
You effin ye-har.
Are the mammies puttin` too much pressure on the mat at hame there at Celtic Park?.

Beware Ghirls and Bhoys,they`re back to what they need to do.

13 up.we`re 1 to 3.

Bring me the head of Cathay,bit camp, Morales.


the greatst team a ever saw was the brazil 1970 team but would they best the celtic team at that time …..weel never know because the sfa said we canny have timmy findin oot a fuckin pity thum


I was on the bench Charlie.


We`re witnessing pompous,never wiped their own backside in their life players.

Build me a ship then tell me if you know how to play our game.

Everton v Liverpool and Man Utd v City???
What a load of jumped up sold shite.


The excuse`ll be we`ve a big game comin` up…

Never change a winning side,unless you have to.



Good Moaning fellow champers, My what a lovely day, to wear your good suit over your pampers, dribble into your bib, its absorbent don’t cha know, scratch your dangles and go to the chapel and of you go. So my team that I guess Brendan will play is….. Gordon,

Lustig, Hendry, Ajer, Cal/Mac.

Broony and Ntcham, Musundo,

Forrest, Dembelle, Griff. The thing we don’t want is too many players getting into each other’s way, inside the box.


mikey scotland played russia in a freindly a week before we won big ears ffs they wurny freindly wae us


while scotland has a press who say we would rather lose than use timmy they ur dooemd….fuck them

Pat Higney

Caption: King’s attempt at procuring a NOMAD ; Nigel Orange Monkey Auditing Dandy


The greatest Girl I ever saw….Maria, Maria, M A R I A. She had four eyes, I tried to sympathise, Maria, Maria, I’ve just met a girl called
Maria, suddenly you know, I cannot let her go, Oh Maria, the greatest girl in the World, is, Maria.


Caption, The last of the three wise monkey’s, this one the George Burns lookalike, refuses to see, hear or talk, a total representation of the MSSM.


celtic will play oan the plastic pitch today ile take a 1 zero to the champions and nae injuries but the thugs are trying to intimidate us ……..bring back charlie mulgrew


#Charlie Mulgrew, Charlie Mulgrew…..# I’ll never forget his opener in the LAST EVER OLD FIRM GAME; it was beautiful, just fuckin’ beautiful as he raced in and nutted it downward into the turf and then up over McGregor; just fuckin’ beautiful, just as his celebrations. A REAL Celtic mhan. 2-1 today is okay as a FT scoreline but it wasn’t very pretty; our supporters deserve a lot more. Another game screaming out for creativity and Charly gets the nod wi’ about 5 mins tae go? I find it really strange as I did the Dundee game and its subs. Great… Read more »


gee neil lennon the scotland job and we migght get sumwer


I’m going fur 3-0 to the Tic. today, and then unleash the hunskelpers and put them back doon there hole where they belong, Celtic the champions of our World.


Neil Lennon bikini`ll send us to outter space.


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