Celtic Diary Sunday April 1: SMSM Catches On

A glance at todays headlines shows us that the mainstream media have taken to openly making things up, a sure sign that Etims is indeed the most influential website of them all.

Where we lead, others follow, but remember, folks, we do it all year round and not just once a year.

As legal disclaimers go, thats the one to which we’ll refer to whenever we have to.

Though I have to tip the hat to whoever came up with this one, as one can already imagine the hordes discussing where it should go…

Back at the ranch, and Celtic coasted to a 3-0 win over ross county yesterday, with Stuart Armstrong putting in a performance that reminded us of er, Stuart Armstrong.

Moussa Dembele scored from the spot, Stuart Armstrong and Tom Rogic completed the scoring.

Whether or not its because Armstrong  is back to full fitness, or his mind was on is law degree is irrelevant. We can’t change whats done, but he can sure as hell influence whats coming.

Even Scott Sinclair looked a little closer to his true self, although he didn;t seem happy with the attention he got from the county defenders, and in fairness he had a point. At least three fouls in the second half went unpunished, all of which had seen him in dangerous positions with  possession.

Sinclair had earlier dismissed specualtion that he wanted to move on..

The other talking point in the game was the shocking assault on Scott Brown, the latest in a long line of attempts to presumably collect the bounty put on the Celtic player by hearts manager Craig Levein…

Image result for Foul on Scott Brown ross County

However, we can exclusively reveal it wasn’t Levein who put out the contract, but another Edinburgh based manager bent on revenge…

We have a picture from another angle that shows just how bad the revenge tackle was..

Image result for kick in the groin

What was heartening though, was the reaction of Stuart Armstrong, who seemed rather intent on extracting a little retribution, a sure sign that the players are beginning to fed up of being kicked around for an hour and a half every week.

Image result for Stuart Armstrong v Ross county

County captain and villain of the piece Andrew Davis had apparently apologised afterwards, sort of..

The game also saw the return of Leigh Griffiths and Patrick Roberts to the fold, which as we reach the prize giving stage of proceedings can only be good news, although with Dedryck Boyata being substituted at half time after another of his nervous peformances it has to be said that his time may be drawing to an end in the hoops.

With improvement visible in Kristoffer Ajer and to a lesser extent Jack Hendry-even after only a few weeks, it may not actually be a fault in coaching the defence, it may be that a couple of them don’t seem to want to listen.

Don’t be surprised if natural selection leads us to have Hendry and Ajer as a first choice pairing sooner rather than later. Rodgers post match never mentioned the Belgian….

Although he seemed rather pleased with everything else..

“It was a very pleasing victory. When you come back after an international break, you’re looking to try and get some fluency as quickly as you can.

“You saw the pitch today and it really helped. It was in really good condition so well done to the groundstaff for getting it to that level which allows us to play the game much quicker.

“I thought the positioning of the team was very good. We talked before the game about having that intent and intensity in the game, and I thought we started that way, scoring one in the first half and we could have had a few more.

“Of course they went down to 10 men. It was a really bad challenge. I feel for the Ross County staff, who’re trying to keep this team in the league, and I feel for their supporters who have travelled all the way down. If you watch it again, it’s a really poor challenge. If Jozo Simunovic gets two games for a slight elbow then I don’t know what that will be.

“For us, in the second half, there was a question – could we learn and improve from the second half at Motherwell?  We did that, scoring two good goals and won the ball back quickly, counter-pressed it and had lots of chances.” 

Stuart Armstrong got a mention..after his man of the match performance..

“He has been building his way back into contention and he showed his energy and all the qualities he has,” 

 “It was a great goal, but he worked really hard, played the postion really well and had good tactical discipline.

“He tired a little in the last 20 minutes, but we wanted to get him through 90 to push him with his game-time. I was very pleased with him.” 

Looking ahead, Rodgers seemed to invite the challenge..

We are going into a really exciting part of the season where it’s now all about your mental fitness,” 

 “We have the talent and now it’s about one game at a time.

“We got our three points today, played well – and it’s important we perform well, some people think it’s all about the points at this stage but, for us, it’s about performing well as well.

“You saw the crowd today. For a top v bottom clash, we virtually had a full house. I thought today we were back to a lot where we were last year. We had lots of threats on goal – ok, we didn’t score as many goals but I thought we looked like we could score from lots of different angles.

“There was lots of speed and penetration and, very importantly, counter-pressing when we lost the ball – we had hunger to get the ball back. That brought us our second goal. It was a really good performance. This last period is now something we will really relish.” 

It should be fun.

Aberdeen and Hibernian both won yesterday, and “rangers ” managed a draw after going two down early on, so competition in the places for Europe is hotting up and will keep us interested  in what goes on elsewhere.

With a previous Ibrox entity having fibbed on an application for a European licence, and doubts about their eligibility last year having surfaced, there were a few raised eyebrows when the unaudited interim accounts were released late on Friday night, as though they were trying to hide something.

Like the unaudited interim accounts, for instance. They show that the club made a loss in the period June to December, which is the bit where clubs shouldn’t make a loss, and admits that the club is around £17m in the red to soft loans, but leaves out the bit about the money secured at Close Brothers.

As ever, they are drifting close to the edge, and it can’t help that Dave king is still kicking the can down the rod when it comes to the Takeover Panel ruling…

DAVE KING has released the following statement:

Supporters will be aware of the Takeover Panel’s ruling last year that I must make an offer to the non- concert party minority shareholders of the Rangers International Football Club PLC. I have defended this ruling on the basis that any offer should not come from me but should be made by one of my trust companies.

The Takeover Panel has relented to my request for which I am grateful. I confirm that It will be announced today that one of my trust companies will now proceed and shall within a short period make a fully funded offer in compliance with the normal requirements of the Takeover Panel. 

In the fullness of time…at the appropriate juncture…at an opportune moment…you get the jist.

Meanwhile, there’s another begging bowl being passed around the support…at least this one is a little more honest in its tagline.. although the picture may be out of date, they can’t keep spending money on new ones..

But there is some good news for them…

Fake fags for a fake team ?

Still, one of their number has grasped the mettle and is running with it..

 

One or two things spring to mind..

 

They did give me another reason to wish they would just fold and quit though.

The man who worked as their mascot, Broxi Bear, has passed away, and we’d like first of all to offer our condolences to his family and friends.

If they are reading this, they might want to skip the next bit though..

 

 

 

Away from that, and there’s a petition afoot to encourage Celtic to place machines in the stadium to administer free sanitary products for the ladies.

As a practical solution to an issue, that which argues that women shouldn;t have to pay for them in the first place, which for me its difficult to find an argument against, it might not change the world if Celtic adopt this policy.

What it will do though, at a very minimal cost to the club, is encourage others to follow suit, and raise awareness of the issue nationwide.

Don’t listen to me though…read it for yourself.

Click on the link below to sign, or else I will tell your wife you haven;t signed, and she will kick your fucking head in for being a mysoginistic bastard.

Me ? I will do as any animal that bleeds for a week and doesn’t die tells me to.

Seriously though, it is a great idea and its absolute nonsense that they should have to pay for these products anyway.

C6n9jKnBb3

We showed you a couple of pictures on Friday..

The first was Jorge Cadete..

who reminded me of someone..

Image result for craig whyte

and the second was Roy Aitken, who has the look of a statesman these days, not surprising really, for one destined to lead..

Back to a traditional caption competition today..

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Paul Cochrane
2 years ago

Andrew Davies checks footage of his tackle on Brown before admitting both his feet may have left the ground.

Puggy67
2 years ago

Caption:# Free pieces on cheese for fat bastards.

Puggy67
2 years ago

Caption: Friday morning and it kicks off when Billy claims cheese pieces are Roman Catholic superstition

Noelskytrot
2 years ago

Caption….lunchtime for the technicians working on the floating pitch at Ibrox.

2 years ago

madden gave the penalty despite minimal contact…

Puggy67
2 years ago

Caption: I’ve been to the Vatican this is exactly what it looks like.

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago
Reply to  Puggy67

🙂 Quality Puggy

Monti
2 years ago

Free sanitary products?
Definitely not, no.
What next? Jeremy kyle doing the half time paradise windfall draw?
Football is a man’s game & women shouldn’t be allowed to gain entry, cleaners and food hall wenches apart.
Bar staff in the Kerrydale should be carefully vetted as well, only women from the ages of 20 – 25 years of age, over 5’10”, under 10 stone with ample breasts may apply.

Weered
2 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Monti.. It’s great to see you have embraced modernity with this gem of a post HH 🙂

Weered
2 years ago
Reply to  Weered

Oops that could have been maternity, 🙂

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Weered

🙂

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Ironic coming from a guy who lives in a flat named “The Fanny Pad”

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Saiz

A barn is better then?

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago
Reply to  Monti

It was a valiant effort but naw the fanny pad soaks up the plaudits

Weered
2 years ago
Reply to  Monti

A wee hen hoose…

Weered
2 years ago
Reply to  Ralph Malph

Ralph… Those progressive victorians yet again

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Ralph Malph

I’ll reply once i’ve hung up my top hat & cane.

Doc
2 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Monti becomes head of recruitment at the Kerrydale…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i60a-KYSCno

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Doc

Oh yes, that’s what i’m talking about!

Mike Annis
2 years ago

One assumes the Mail Online is a 1st April report.

As for the caption: After months of practice the Orange Order astronauts still can’t get it right.

Yoker Bhoy
2 years ago

Time to give big Dedryck a nice long holiday to give him more time to find a new club to go to in the summer. The best centre-half in our development squad should then be promoted to our first-team squad to fill the gap.

HH

Doc
2 years ago
Reply to  Yoker Bhoy

We’ve got Jozo, Comperr, Hendry, Ajer and Biton so we have cover.

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago
Reply to  Doc

BUPA ?

FredDDobbs
2 years ago
Reply to  Doc

none of them can make a pass to a hun forward as perfect as dildrick

Yoker Bhoy
2 years ago

Caption: Where’s Captain Kirk?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9NBrq-SF1k

Bognorbhoy
2 years ago

Caption …

Astronaut fires crew member from the invisible gravitational slingshot…

Bognorbhoy
2 years ago

Caption 2…

Head of refereeing explains the two kick rule for opponents of Celtic players ….

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago

Caption
Charlie Saiz levitates into Etims Ether Bar much to the disappointment of Monti Bg and Andy 😉 🙂 😉

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Saiz

Caption 2
Dave King jets into the Rangers International Space Station to see what the problem is with the Moonbeam Laser Cannon

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Saiz

Cannae be you….no cart in the pic.

Uralius
2 years ago

Caption:
Jozo: If he dies, he dies.

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago
Reply to  Uralius

😉

Doc1888
2 years ago
Reply to  Uralius

Superb- that’s the winner!

Cortes
2 years ago

Caption: Moonbeam at One o’clock, Sir!

Cortes
2 years ago

Come close, brothers, sense my floating charge.

Mike
2 years ago

Caption, The Boston Celtics sign a new pitcher…Levi Tate.

As the Kirk in Scotland continues to leak congregations, a new terminology is born…the 90 minute bigot, someone who wears his religion on his red white and blue scarf. Lets face it, none of them believe in any form of religion, let alone Christianity.
Their only true faith is the “Rangers” with the King at the head.

Tam the tim
2 years ago

Bring back the guys with the macaroon bars and spearmint gum with free fanny pads.
Sorry.
HH

charlie
2 years ago

celtic give the ghirls free sanitory products while the huns demand something called cumdog cologne they dont call them animals for nothing he he

charlie
2 years ago

caption that floatin guy reminds me ae me going doon london road after the ten men won the league game

charlie
2 years ago

captionthis is a picture question can you spot the guy oan acid

charlie
2 years ago

well done young ryan burnett last night great performance COYBIG

Noelskytrot
2 years ago

Caption…..whit’s the pieces dain Tam, whit’s the pieces dain?

jimboh
2 years ago

Caption …
Lunchtime in The Sevco Engine Room Subsidiary.

Tam the tim
2 years ago

Ok Noelskytrot, yer ham n cheese rolls. Thinking about it gives me the boak, especially the guy selling them next to the bogs in the Jungle.
HH

Noelskytrot
2 years ago
Reply to  Tam the tim

TtT, i’d have swerved them as well mate. Even the fayre thats on offer at CP just now I avoid.

Martin67
2 years ago

Caption:Dave King makes a valiant attempt at floating on the stock market.

Monti
2 years ago

Caption: As Charlie Saiz insists Deila be given another six months, these three unconvinced astronauts jettison him from the escape pod.
Safely landing on Blackpool beach.

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Monti

…..landing with a fud!

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Sorry….landing with complete fud.

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago

Caption 3
Stephen Hawkins joins Carl Sagan Peter Hitchens and John Lennon on God’s celestial naughty step

Noelskytrot
2 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Saiz

Charlie, Peters still alive, it’s his brilliantly minded bro Christopher thats floating about the ether. I watched a brilliant docu by him called Hells Angel about Mother Teresa, a right piece of work, she is.

Doc
2 years ago
Reply to  Noelskytrot

Hitchens is hardly impartial, he has hated the Church since his mothers suicide.

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago
Reply to  Noelskytrot

My bad Noel tho I’m not a disciple of Hitchens l found him a bit anal and arrogant if I’m honest.

Una
2 years ago

Hi Monti

Whats got wings a sucks blood?

Una
2 years ago
Reply to  Una

And sucks blood

charlie
2 years ago
Reply to  Una

a winged bloodsucker he he

Weered
2 years ago
Reply to  Una

It’s Cunt Dracula… FFS that’s something to sink yer teeth into

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago
Reply to  Una

Paul McCartneys agent.

FredDDobbs
2 years ago
Reply to  Una

a mosquito with a stammer

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Una

Vlad the impaler?

Una
2 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Whats got wings and sucks blood?

Always Ultra

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Una

Oh dear

Monti
2 years ago

Easter eggs taste better when you steal one of the kids easter eggs…..she doesn’t need all of them anyway 🙂

Weered
2 years ago

Una… He is ALWAYS wrong

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Weered

Doctor White…..oh Doctor white

Rob O'Keeffe
2 years ago

Roll of Honour: Vol Robert Carr.Newry.1980.R.I.P.

Rob O'Keeffe
2 years ago

Just a suggestion,could we please reduce the ticket prices for the struggling hard working men who can’t afford the “big” match day experience before dealing with wimmins stuff which can be purchased or nicked from poundland?……

Rob O'Keeffe
2 years ago

Yes,Griff is back! I take it D.Mond.is in the jail for giving that wee guy behind him a doing?…….

Rob O'Keeffe
2 years ago

Wimmins stuff available at poundland,tickets for the gullibhoys,not…….

CarllJungleBhoy
2 years ago

Caption: Following that tackle by Simunovic, Kenny Miller has been invited to spend the night at the international Space Station as he continues on his journey to Mars.

Rob O'Keeffe
2 years ago

Take note Brit lovers: Polis in Lurgan attack and arrest lovely,friendly guys indulging in a nice Republican Easter Parade because they were wearing clothes that they found offensive.A Brit Army spokesman said ‘Damn,we were in the Lodge,why didn’t they call us and we could have joined in the attack on peaceful people enjoying a walk for their Easter?….Brit Army=IDF…..

Doc1888
2 years ago

Caption: Dave King- Of course I’ve paid this months gravity bill ! It’s recorded in those unaudited accounts.

Doc
2 years ago

‘What other markets could we dabble in?’ is hilarious, they could go into education and offer classes on proper apron etiquette, financial advice, loyal refereeing, staunch facial hair growing (ladies only), kerb painting or roof repairs.

Caption: NASA spot the ball competition.

Mike
2 years ago

Where is Compper, is he in the same category as Gamboa, Kouassi, Musonda? Players that come in and play maybe 2/3 games per season.
Are they required, or just there to make up the numbers, who is scouting them, are they value for money. Four players who do not add very much to the playing squad, add to them Devries, who is as much use as the magic sponge. Could we not ditch them with Boyata and Sumonovic and bring in 2/3 better standard players. I know its not an exact science purchasing players, you see the same players playing for the first team and these players just seem to be there shuffling their feet. Time to clear out the deadwood at the seasons end and pay the players who perform on a weekly basis and add 1/2 quality players.

Devoy45
2 years ago

Caption: Fairmer Mike comes out of retirement to show the younger generation how to do a proper overhead/bicycle kick…one he uses a lot on his livestock…
Caption: How Fenians feel every time we boss Sevco and enrage the MSM

Mike
2 years ago
Reply to  Devoy45

April the first right enough, anymore of that young sir and you will be Sinn Fein Died.

2 years ago

The ‘R.I.P is catholic hocus pocus’ is not the most ludicrous religious gem from our friends in blue. One genius claimed on Rangers media that St Patrick was a protestant and he had been hijacked by the ‘tarriers’ in the USA at the end of the 19th century. This keen theologian said that St. Patrick was a protestant missionary in Ireland in the 6th century, which makes the Celtic snake-charmer about 1000 years ahead of his time, which would be the 16th century with him being the time of the Reformation. What are they teaching them in their schools these days. Back to the football…I simply don’t understand why Boyata continues to get picked. I suppose it is a little better as Brendan seems to have realised that he is done at Celtic. But with Hendry there there is not need to give Boyata any more time on the park. As for Compper? Will he play more than 10 times for Celtic I doubt it. Why they signed him is a mystery. Maybe he is great at organising Secret Santa?

Una
2 years ago

Caption

Nasa attempt to use an astronaut as a tampon in space with disastrous consequences.

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago

I think we need to sign a quality Keeper,CB and RWB in the Summer.
Gordon is getting on ,De Vreis is average and Bain adequate at SPL level.
Gamboa a waste of space and Lustig not at the same level now as he gets older.
Boyata Jozo and Compper all semi injury prone and below the level needed in Europe and whilst Ajer and Hendry have decent potential we need a senior quality guy in there to keep them right and help with their progression.
Time we spent some proper investment in quality at the back that can match that of Tierney.
I think McGinn at Hibs is a no brainier as a straight replacement for Broonie when he retires.
I would also bring Christie back and have him Armstrong and Rogic rotate in AMF.

FredDDobbs
2 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Saiz

forster cannae get a gemme.

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  FredDDobbs

Talking of fannies…..evening fred.

FredDDobbs
2 years ago
Reply to  Monti

montit, you lookin forward to Arpil 2 and islamonausea day.

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago
Reply to  FredDDobbs

No a bad shout tho wages would obviously be an issue now Fred?
Baptiste Reynet at Dijon would be worth looking at imo.
Reminds me of Boruc

https://youtu.be/xl28VqjZa_s

FredDDobbs
2 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Saiz

who knows. celtic are going to have to up the ante and there are a few dumplins coming up for renewal in the summer.

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago
Reply to  FredDDobbs

Agreed tho Brendan is no mug Fred.

FredDDobbs
2 years ago
Reply to  FredDDobbs

good to see you back

HH

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago
Reply to  FredDDobbs

Cheers bud nice to be back
HH

Una
2 years ago

Caption

dave king reassures sevco supporters this is the fit and proper way to float shares.

Weered
2 years ago
Reply to  Una

Winner

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Weered

Pish

Weered
2 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Evening sir… All well?

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Weered

Periodically….yes. 🙂

Weered
2 years ago
Reply to  Weered

Monti… Ah well it is a new monthly cycle

Honest hoops
2 years ago

Caption; the VAR team reinact the tackle and confirm that 2 feet are required in which to inflict maximum pain to Scott Brown…

Weered
2 years ago

There’s a starman waiting in the sky
He’d like to come and meet us
But he just keeps floating by

Monti
2 years ago

Caption: David Murray checks on the progress of the prototype floating pitch.

FredDDobbs
2 years ago

Stuart armstong looked awesome vs the hammer throwers.

Is he going or is he staying?

Charlie Saiz
2 years ago
Reply to  FredDDobbs

I think he will be here for a few years yet Fred Brendan rates him highly as do the Club.
New 4 year deal with a cheeky £15m clause to scare off any pretenders 😉

Monti
2 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Saiz

Would you like a wee wager on that?

Monti
2 years ago

Caption: Jeremy Kyle live from NASA H.Q.
( The he said she said files )

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/