Celtic Diary Tuesday December 12: Celts Finally Get Luck Of The Draw

Celtic will face Zenit St Petersburg in February when the knockout stages of the Europa League commence in February.

The first game is at Celtic Park on thursday February 15, with the return a week later in St Petersburg, which used to be called Petrograd and Leningrad. That was after it was called St Petersburg, which it is called again after the fall of the old Soviet Union, which was created after the Russian Revolution, which took place in November 1917, and is known as the October Revolution, which more or less took place in St Petersburg, which then went on to be called Petrograd , Leningrad and then St Petersburg again.

Not just a football site, you know.

Zenit won a place in Celtic supporters hearts when they overcame the Wattenacio style of football undertaken by the cardigan wearing football guru Walter Smith, who led Rangers to the UEFA cup final of 2008, before it was revealed that their unique style of accounting didn’t add up, and the club was liquidated.

They overcame a hostile Manchester crowd and won the affection of peaceful minded folk around the world with their triumph, and deserve praise for that.

We can thank them in February.


Of course, they are a different side now, and although still regular competitors at this level and above, they were beaten at this stage last year by Anderlecht, albeit on away goals, which suggests the tie is not entirely beyond Celtic. Added to this, the Russian league is now in a three month shutdown, Zenit played their last game yesterday, and by the time they face Celtic they will be roughly at the same level of preparation and match fitness as Celtic were for the Linfield game this year or the Lincoln Red Imps fiasco last year.

In that game yesterday they drew 0-0 with Akhmat in Grozny, and there was perhaps a reason not to worry too much…

Zenit attack..

you may have to click around to get that..

Anyway,hope springs eternal. That was delightful to watch.

What else do we know about Zenit St Petersburg ?

They’ve got their own plane.

The ground has a roof, and heating..

That will help, as Russia can get a bit parky in winter.

Mind you, there was two feet of snow outside mine this morning.

Players-yeah, they’ve got some..


Supporters ?

Oh, they’ve got some of them as well.. (Daily Mail, Dec 8..) and, no, the Mail are not their sponsors.

Zenit St Petersburg have been ordered to partially close their stadium by UEFA after fans displayed a banner praising former Bosnian Serb military leader Ratko Mladic during a 2-1 home win over Macedonian side Vardar Skopje in the Europa League last month.

The Russian club was found guilty of ‘racist behaviour’ under Article 14 of UEFA’s disciplinary regulations and instructed to ‘close the entire sector where the discriminatory banner was displayed’ during their next European match.

UEFA said in a statement that it had also asked Zenit to display a banner with the words ‘#EqualGame’ and the UEFA logo on it in the same section of its Krestovsky Stadium.

The club has also been fined €10,000 (£8,790). Zenit topped their group to qualify for the last-16 of the Europa League, to be played early next year.

Mladic was found guilty of genocide by a U.N. war crimes tribunal the day before the match and sentenced to life in prison for his role in massacres and ethnic cleansing during Bosnia’s war. 

I’m amazed that they didn’t get on better with Rangers fans.


Anyone wishing to travel to St Petersburg will need a visa, and plenty of roubles. Its not expensive over there, but the police are on a sort of pay as you meet us system, which can be quite expensive .

There may be a way out of paying for a visa, however, and Celtics go to man when there is a problem, John Paul Taylor, will be looking into that..

In the meantime, I found this…


In order to get your Russian tourist visa you must provide to the Russian consulate an official visa support document, also known as “Tourist Voucher”, “Tourist Confirmation” or “Invitation Letter”. Without a tourist voucher (invitation) you will not be able to get a tourist visa to Russia.

Russian tourist voucher is an official document issued by an authorised travel agency confirming your personal details, travel dates and itinerary in Russia. Tourist voucher (invitation) can be issued for maximum 30 days of stay in Russia. Once you have received your tourist voucher, you can apply for your Russian tourist visa and in the visa application form you will need to enter the details of your voucher (its number, issuing travel agency registration details).

So you first step should be – order a tourist voucher and only then fill in the visa form. Otherwise your visa form will be incomplete and not accepted by the Russian consulate.


You can get your tourist voucher and confirmation from the hotel you are staying at in Russia. However not all hotels are authorised to issue vouchers and secondly the process of getting an official voucher from the hotel can be lengthy. And if you are not staying in a hotel, this is not an option at all.

The easiest and most economical way of getting a Russian tourist voucher is to order it online on our website. It will take maximum 5 minutes and your voucher can be issued within 1 hour, 3 hours, maximum 24 hours after placing an order, depending on your chosen option.


We need the following details from you:

  • Your personal details (name, surname, date of birth).
  • Passport details (including number, date of issue, expiry).
  • Travel dates in Russia (maximum 30 days).
  • Travel itinerary (you will need to specify the cities you are planning to visit in Russia).

That’s all we need. You do not need to book a hotel, flight, tour or any other travel arrangement with us to get your voucher. Just make sure you have your passport details and enter them correctly in the online order form.

Once you get your voucher you can apply for your visa. Please note that you can stay in any hotel / private accommodation in Russia, and travel to any unrestricted area in Russia with your visa. No itinerary, places of stay are specified in the visa. Make sure you do not overstay in Russia after the visa expiry date.


Our prices depend on your nationality and processing time. Please see the options below


Processing Time Single Entry Double Entry Order Voucher
1 hour £50.00 £60.00 ORDER VOUCHER
3 hours £30.00 £40.00 ORDER VOUCHER
24 hours £20.00
( best value )



Processing Time Single Entry Double Entry Order Voucher
3 working days £115.00 £140.00 ORDER VOUCHER

Please note a copy of your passport 1st page and an EU, USA residence permit is required.


  • EU and North America citizens – 1, 3, 24 hours after your payment has been received by us during working hours (Monday – Friday: 09:00 – 18:00 London time).
  • Asia, South America, Middle East citizens – 3 working days after your payment has been received by us during working hours (Monday – Friday: 09:00 – 18:00 London time).


We ask all our customer to order a tourist voucher online. The online form will guide you through the whole process and ask for the required information. Please make sure you have your passport details when ordering the voucher. You will also be able to make a secure online payment by credit or debit card. The whole process of ordering a Russian tourist voucher will not take more than 5 minutes.

Please note that we also provide full assistance with the Russian tourist visas, where we check your application pack and submit it to the Russian consulate. Please read more about Russian visa assistance.

Which led to this…

Russian Tourist Visa Including Voucher

The Lowest Price Guaranteed! You will not find a cheaper option, unless you DIY



Russian tourist visa is a document which allows foreign nationals to travel to Russia as tourists. Russian tourist visas are offered as

  • single entry – visiting Russia only once during a period of up to 30 days or
  • double entry – for two entries within a period of up to 30 days

Please note that Russian tourist visas are issued for the exact period of time which cannot exceed 30 days, cannot be extended and cannot be obtained at the border either. A tourist visa is best when you know exactly where and how long you will be staying in Russia and you plan to stay in the country not more than 30 days.


If you are planning to visit Crimea, you will need to have a valid Russian visa. If you are going to Crimea as a tourist, a standard Russian tourist visa will be sufficient. Most likely you will be travelling to Crimea by air via Moscow. This is not counted as a double entry as you are not leaving the Russian territory. We will issue all required paperwork for your visa.


We guarantee the lowest price for our visa service as we have been dealing with Russian visas for over 10 years now and have high volume operations. We also include a tourist voucher – a required document to get your visa – free of charge with our visa service.

Our service fee included in the price is about £42. You can obviously do your Russian visa yourself and pay £108 to the consulate, however on top you will need to purchase a tourist voucher (standard price £20) or spend some time trying to get it from your hotel. And then not being sure at all that your application paperwork is properly completed. Effectively you will be paying us ONLY £22 on top of the consular charge – a fair price for removing any unnecessary stress and a potential second visit to the visa centre.


First, please place an order on our website so we can have your personal details, visa type and dates of travel to Russia. After your payment we issue an official tourist voucher and email you the guidance notes on how to fill-in the Russian visa application form. Once you have completed your visa form, we check your application pack and advise of any required amendments. You then post / bring your documents to us for final checks and come to the visa centre for finger scans where you will be assisted by our representative. We will also pay all visa fees on your behalf. 


Original passport Passport must have at least 2 blank pages and be valid for at least 6 months after your intended departure from Russia.
Visa application form The form must be completed online now. Once you have ordered your Russian tourist visa through our company you will receive a detailed guidance how to complete the forms.
Colour photo 3.5 cm by 4.5 cm taken against a light background (white or off – white), UK standard passport photo will be sufficient.
View photo specification.
Visa support document If you do not have a tourist voucher (official tourist confirmation document from a travel agency or a hotel in Russia) our company will assist with the visa support. The price of the visa support document is included in our visa fees detailed below.
Non UK – nationals
  • UK residence permit (EU passport, work permit/visa)
  • proof of address in the UK (recent utility bill, bank statement, letter from your employer confirming your employment in the UK)
  • travel insurance certificate valid for the whole period of stay in Russia. No travel insurance is required for UK passport holders. Arrange travel insurance online.
Company director, self employed,
  • bank statements for the last three months showing a positive balance on your account based on £100 per each day of your stay in Russia.
Children application Please see below for additional documents when applying for children under 18 years old.


If a child has a passport, he / she needs to obtain a visa. There are additional requirements for children under 18 years old when applying for the Russian visa and depend on who they are submitting their applications with and who they will be travelling to Russia with. There is no need to notarise any documents. A copy of child’s birth certificate is always required.

    • Applying with a parent of the same surname – a copy of child’s birth certificate is required. No other additional documents are required if travelling with both parents. If the child travels only with one parent the following documents are required:


    • Applying with a parent of a different surname – If the child’s surname is different from the parent’s surname (e.g. due to divorce)
      • A copy of child’s birth certificate
      • A copy of the parent’s marriage and divorce certificate. Applicants must prove connection between child’s and parent’s surname
      • Parental confirmation letter from the accompanying parent
      • Parental consent letter from the other parent


    • Applying alone without parents and travelling with a parent – the following documents are required:


  • Applying and travelling either alone or not with parents –
    • A copy of child’s birth certificate
    • Copies of parents’ passports
    • A copy of accompanying person’s passport with a valid Russian visa (if travelling with someone else)
    • Parental consent letter from BOTH parents

Processing time is calculated from the day you arrive at the visa centre to provide biometric data.


Type of Visa Validity Processing Final Price

( total cost )
Single 1 Month 6 business days £150
( best value )
3 business days £255 APPLY NOW
Double 1 Month 6 business days £195 APPLY NOW
3 business days £325 APPLY NOW

Our prices include all consular and visa application centre fees, our service charges, VAT. There will be no extra charges except for postage if you want your passport to be posted to you, alternatively you can collect it from our office. You can choose passport return delivery option when placing an order on our website. The price you see is the price you pay. StressFreeVisas Best Price Guarantee. 

Please click on “Apply now” button below to submit your order. It will take no longer than 5 minutes of your time. Once we have received your payment we will email you detailed guidance on how to complete your visa form and advise of the next steps. 


Personally, I think I’ll wait for the Russians to come here.

Image result for russian may day parade 2017

On the lighter side, it is cold out here, so they might not bother.

Caption yesterday…

Monti December 11, 2017 at 1:15 pm · Edit · Reply →

Caption: KT-“Efe…Efe…you’re standing on my fucking foot man” 


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Whats Russian for Filler?


Desimond… наполнитель


What’s Russian for….blessed are the big noses 🙂


благословенны большие носы




Youri bigcockin.

Stevie D


Rab Wallace

Caption “it’s snow right this”


Caption A bearz understanding of the cold shoulder…….

A shouldn’t laugh really



Caption… Is this what its going to be like when we win our next trophy… because some taigs said it’ll happen when hell freezes over…


Caption: Sevco fans demonstration of solidarity with Dave King after they hear he has been given the cold shoulder by the Takeover Panel.


Caption… I’ll just sit here until I see white smoke telling me when the next fenian manager has been appointed


Caption: looks like phil was right aboot that roof after all.


Excellent Diary,
Interesting stuff that St.Petersburg has been known by different names over the years….as far as i know Dundee was originally called ‘a shithole’ reverted back to Dundee but the locals still prefer ‘ a shithole ‘! Ken.

Where’s our Mike? I’m concerned he has slipped in this cold, icy weather & burst his bag of Werthers open.

Mike if you are out there, let us know pal!


Caption- Billy to Billy ” There’s fuck all wrong with the roof, asbestos my arse “


Caption: ‘ The Robbie Fowler stand ‘






The 2008 UEFA Cup final Zenit original rangers…

I remember working night shift at Morrisons, working meaning doing as little as possibe while me and the other lads emptied the pick n mix 🙂

Couple of Huns on the shift that night, i remember trying to look at their hideously deformed pus to gauge how the game was going….

Lassie comes out the Canteen and said ” Mont, Zenit are 2 up “.
Good start to a night shift that!


Rob O'Keeffe

Congratulations Monti on winning the caption,especially when it involved one of your favourite players of all time.
Phoned Father this morning,sin isn’t sin in the eyes of the Holy Roman Catholic Church.Venial(lesser)sin doesn’t separate you from God.Mortal sins(Max Clifford),unrepented(Max Clifford) condemn you to Hell everlasting.Take note,person who laughed at Cheggars dying and tried to teach me about the Church,you know who you are! KTF


титр : не надо переводить это – если вы не Ральф – в этом случае, жесткое дерьмо 🙂


Wtf? 🙂


подпись : не надо переводить это – если вы не Ральф – в этом случае, жесткое дерьмо!


I’m sure of that…


Come on then i’m no fucking googling that shit 🙂


Monti… now you are being paranoid…worry not…there has been no lies told about you…it’s all true 🙂


At 3-0 to Celtic they thought the Zenit roof would come in… at 4-0 it did

Mike Annis

Caption: Huns waiting for Hell to freeze over as they’ve given up waiting to qualify for Europe.


caption the wee siberian guy sais ffs ye think this is cauld wait till ye see it in winter


or in Glasgow


Rangers/Zenit. I was in Hamilton that day and the polis were struggling with a guy who had a T-shirt on that said “Nakamura Ate My Cat”. He was off his nut. I so wanted Zenit to wipe the grin off that glaikit bigot’s face. And they did.



Dave King receives the cold shoulder.


good yin henke heers wit he said efter he got it dave king sais to the huns if yees think this is cauld wait till yees see the cauld shooder ha ha


Caption: SFA deny cocaine use on the terraces is becoming a problem.


Caption: Four days After a fruitless search for his 5p piece, Mike say’s fuck it & takes a seat to watch the Farmers lamb chopping championships 2017, live from Auchtermuchty 🙂


Caption: Charlie keeps Tic Toc’s seat warm while Tic toc goes for the Babychams.


see that tic toc a geidum ma wallet to pay forit and that wis 3 month ago he he


Celtic v Hamilton Accies






Stevie D

Aye! Griffiths has got to get a game surely to God!


Stevie D,
It’s been important for the squad players to get some game time, but we need to go up a gear or two now.
Time to unchain the Griff.


caption wan hun sais tae the other ffs its as cauld as dave kings heart he he


mrs charlie sais am puttin oan the beef so ime away doon the gym wae ma bhoy ……….pray fur me he he


Caption: Sevco AGM 2018


Caption,,,, As the bitter Russian Winter makes way for Spring the Zenit St Petersburg fans awake after a 3 month queue for tickets to the realisation that they have slept in and the first leg against Celtic was in Glasgow. No Show. 3-Nil thank you very much. Hail Hail.


Caption: the bhoys smuggle the gear into st Petersburg


I’m nae goin tae Iceland tae dae ma shoppin ever again


Caption: Summer fitbaw ma arse


Caption: Fans who started reading Ralph’s useful “filler” about Russia Visas etc in 2017, finally finish reading it in Zenit’s stadium on 22 February 2018, but fall asleep in the snow before kick-off, none the wiser


Our reserves should be good enough for the accies.
De Vries
Back 3 of Bitton Ajer Eric
Def midfielder Kouassi
Rwb Gamboa Lwb Miller
Armstrong Rogic Hayes
But Brendan will probably go
Lustig Boyata Jozo Tierney
Brown Ntcham
Forrest Armstrong Sinclair
Whatever team 4_1 the hoops.

Stevie D

Wee Griff’s bound to be wondering what he’s got to do to get a game. Fair play to him; he’s never moaned about it. Love the wee guy!

Rob O'Keefe

Stevie,according to Jim Duffy,wee shorty is not a happy chappy.If we lose him it’s an utter disgrace……



Those players are superior to most of the Hamilton team, but, they are a collection of players who have not played together. There are too many changes in every department for me. Three or four at most new starters and then see how the game goes.



Agree…..Jimmybee is obviously playong champ manager 🙂


Playing ffs


Rebus i was only highlighting what we have in reserve m8 not suggesting we should play the all.
For me i would go
De Vries
Gamboa Boyata Jozo Tierney
Brown Bitton
Forrest Ntcham Sinclair
I would like to see Bitton getting a run as the defensive midfielder his time at the back will have set him up for this position he also has a great range of passing it will allow Broony to get up the park and dictate the tempo.


3-0 to the hoops.


Devoy, play Ajer/Bitton instead of Boyata (who’s got to go) and De Vries (to give him a run out) and I’d go with that and 3-0 or higher.
Come On You Bhoys In Green

The customary sevconian snowmen appear in Charleston awaiting the coming of rangers*


Caption: “It’s Baltic in their shadow. Baltic.” (Staunch exterior, tears inside)


Caption: Only the hunniest flakiest scumbags drag their arses down to Ayebrokes these days.


Caption._” Still waiting on the ccccones. “


Oh hampden in the snaw ,
we get to play with an orange baw

The views no brilliant fur us awe,
But still we pay for the privilege anew.


I visited St Pete’s a few years ago and was most impressed with it. It has a crumbling grandeur about it…many of the buildings have been magnificent but now urgently need refurbished. The canals are a good way to see much of the city. The subway is unbelievably clean and the stations are lined with beautiful granite blocks, but count the number of stops you need to make before getting off. You will not be able to read the names of the stations. There will be many beautiful women who are anxious to act as your guide to “show” you… Read more »


Sounds fucking great to me……


It is! Most beautiful women I have seen.


Stevie D

Sounds as if you got aff the subway at George’s Cross. Except the bit about the beautiful women.




Hillhead surely!



Did you try the wares? Recommend?

Do Russian women like to sit on the couch, staring at their mobile phone, whilst glancing up at the tv screen now and again to see what Jeremy Kyle is up to?


If the answer is no, business could be conducted.


I stayed in a small town called Pushkin, 17 km from St Pete. We stayed in a former palace owned by Catherine the Great. She installed her lovers there. It is now a training college for what are essentially KGB officers. Each officer had his own woman while there. There was a cheap but good brandy from Georgia in full supply. Now I see what they mean by Georgia on my mind! I did hire a guide to show me the Yusapov Palace, where Rasputin was killed. All I shall say is she knew her subject….she would have aced mastermind!… Read more »


Get me an application form!


Last word for those going over there. BEWARE of pickpockets…they are everywhere, starting at the airport.

I wore a money belt.



HaHaHa, Rebus, it’s comedy gold on here.

“I wore a money belt.” HaHaHa.

So all your money got nicked and at the same time your trousers dropped, so you couldn’t even chase after the cunts! HaHaHa, keep them comin’!


My response’s in the ether, Rebus. 🙂


Do they not steal money belts like?


HaHaHa, Monti, YOU? An application for Masterrmind?
HaHaHa. I’ll defo watch THAT one. 🙂
“And after 29 questions you have ‘nil points’ and 29 passes and look like you need to go and lie down” 🙂
PS You might just get a point for the ‘Khyber’ question.

Rob O'Keeffe

Caption: The everlasting afterlife for unrepentant Mortal sinners and their apologists……


A sensationally exciting second half centred around a compelling battle between Brown and McGinn. Rodgers claimed: “no contest”. Disingenuous? I assess their performances.


Congrats on an excellent report. They just keep getting more insightful! Your explanation of what happened with Hibs pressing Celtic and nullifying Brown’s attacking influence hits the nail on the head. I saw Boyata with lots of the ball but doing little with it and wondered where the real midfield were. What surprises me is that if McGinn was forward on Brown, did noone have the wit to move into the space vacated to give McGinn something to think about? McGinn’s dribbling prowess was evident…something we could do with having more of. You have sold me on McGinn, especially if… Read more »

Pat Higney

Caption: Paul Murray’s audition video to be the new face of ‘Head and Shoulders’ shampoo goes disastrously wrong!


CBN, I posted something earlier but it vanished. Here is a shorter version. Your stuff is getting even better. Now I have a better understanding of why the midfield failed to function in the first half. I could not fathom why Boyata was bringing the ball out of defence. Celtic need to find a way to combat the type of press that Hibs used. Another midfield outlet? Someone exploiting the space behind McGinn? You have sold me on McGinn provided he does not cost the earth. He could replace the Brown of old. Trouble is, Brown has one-two more seasons… Read more »

Mcginn is potentially a better player than brown. Brown has presence that’s the difference


“and there was perhaps a reason not to worry too much…”

Ralph, its Celtic playing in Europe. There’s always something to worry about. As ah said yesterday 3 months is a long time, we could strengthen oor team or no.

St Petersburg ( the leftie in me still likes the sound of Leningrad ) sound brilliant.


Honest Hoops

Caption; look….I will wait another 10 years until ma ragers win the league, cause I dinny de walking away….what do you mean they were liquidated??? When???


Caption: Donald Trump issues an early picture of his new ‘realistic snowmen’ factory for dissenters, after taking advice from his close friend Vladimir Putin.

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/