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Celtic Diary Wednesday November 29: Fir Park For Fun

Tonight its the short trip down the motorway for Celtic, without chopper cover, to Motherwell, where the hosts will be looking to exact some sort of revenge for losing the League cup final.

Stephen Robinsons team of cloggers have continued in the family club tradition associated with Motherwell over the last few years, with Keith Lasley now transferring his particular talents to the dressing room from the pitch.

Moussa Dembele won’t feature, unsurprisingly, as he picked up a “knock ” when Cedric Kipre tried to break his leg. Scott Sinclair will play, having shrewdly ducked when the same player tugged at his shirt in a mistimed attempt to strangle him.

As you know, the Motherwell boss made a bit of a noise about there being no contact, and Sinclair diving, and it was a surprise when he revealed that there was to be no appeal against the red card.

“It’s very simple. We have appealed numerous decisions and we’ve wasted a lot of time and money. Another reason is we want Cedric Kipre totally focused on Wednesday night and Saturday. We’ve got big, big games.

“And the reality is his ban is next season, in the first round of the cup. By then he could be in the Premier League, because he’s going to be a top, top footballer. We need to concern ourselves with the here and now.”

He didn’t specify which decisions had , in the past, turned out to be a waste of time, but he was spot on about this appeal being one.

Tonight , incidentally, the family club are admirably trying to alter their image..

Simply bring along any unwanted toys you have and hand them over.

Apparently there’s been a lot thrown out of prams over the last few days.

 

The game isn’t on television, broadcasting watchdogs have vetoed it as it takes place before the watershed 9pm for programmes containing violence and bad language.

Theres been all sorts of tirades from all sorts of people after the League cup final, which you could easily be mistaken for thinking that no one bar the Celtic minded wanted to see the Celtic win.

Replying to 

Away tie a scarf round ur throat ya Wee banger 

LG 9️⃣Retweeted luke clark

Is that not where you’re supposed to tie a scarf?? 

Yesterday the diary didn’t appear. I got up late after finding myself looking at what appears to be Craig whytes “True Blue Treachery”, currently being touted by a tout on his site, as an another excuse to raise money.

Fair enough, each to his own, but if I were you I’d wait until this particular tome hits the bargain bins in book shops.

It contains little that isn’t already known, and is more or less a story of a poor Lanarkshire business who was duped by those fatcats who needed someone to blame for them making an arse of things at Rangers.

Surprisingly, the shrewd Whyte never saw it coming.

Oh, and he’s left out a few things as well, so much so that a better title would be “Whytewash ” .

Like maybe explaining why he was never charged with non payment of the wee tax case, despite giving a written undertaking to do so.

Its a pity. I suppose we’ll have to wait for our own lass to put her story together.

Oh, by the way, it looks like Lord Bannatyne is about to announce his decision to uphold the Takeover Panel decision.

Just in time for tomorrows “rangers” shareholders AGM.

Its being held at the Clyde Auditorium, and one hopes they asked for the money up front.

If , as expected, Bannatyne upholds the judgement, and there’s no reason why he shouldn;t, its game over for King and his concert party.

Do Not Pass go. Do Not Collect £200.

Of course, the media will be on hand to explain all of this, and perhaps even ask king for his thoughts while he is in the country.

Image result for laughter gif

Perhaps they would also like to highlight this…

That club should have been buried five years ago.

This time, can we make it permanent ?

While we are on the subject of the media, this appeared in the Stoke on Trent Evening Sentinel, reckoned to be a spoof written by former tv commentator Gerald Sinstadt, who lives locally..

I’m not entirely sure its a spoof…

Its the transcript of an interview which took place when a young man applied for a job as a football commentator..

Examiner: The game is between a team near the top of the Premier League, and one near the bottom. How do you describe it?

Candidate: It’s a massive game.

Examiner: You are shown a section of the crowd. What do you say?

Candidate: The atmosphere is electric.

Examiner: Where?

Candidate: Inside the stadium.

Examiner: Before kick-off the camera picks out a key player. What is his role?

Candidate: He is the orchestrator.

Examiner: What does the orchestrator do?

Candidate: He pulls the strings.

Examiner: When the game begins, where will attacks develop?

Candidate: Down the wings.

Examiner: Not nowadays.

Candidate: Oh, sorry. In the wide areas.

Examiner: What do you say about a an attacker who is unmarked in a wide area?

Candidate: He’s in acres of space.

Examiner: Do you know how big an acre is?

Candidate: Not a clue.

Examiner: Nor has anyone. You can continue to use this expression.

Examiner: The attacker is in front of goal. What must he do?

Candidate: Pull the trigger.

Examiner: He misses an easy chance. A close up shows a manager with both hands on his head. What is your comment?

Candidate: He can’t believe it.

Examiner: You are shown the player in a similar pose.

Candidate: He can’t believe it either.

Examiner: The score is 1-0 or 0-0. What does that mean for the second half?

Candidate: The next goal is crucial.

Examiner: As the teams return, your monitor shows some feature of the stadium, a clock or a cockerel, for example. What should it be called?

Candidate: An icon.

Examiner: Do you know what an icon is?

Candidate: Yes, I looked it up.

Examiner: And?

Candidate: It is a devotional painting of Christ or another holy figure, typically executed on wood.

Examiner: So how can it be an iconic cockerel?

Candidate: Because everyone says it is.

Examiner: Soon after the resumption, two players collide and fall to the ground. The referee awards a free-kick. You have no idea why. What do you say?

Candidate: It will be interesting to see that again.

Examiner: One team has a spell of domination. What are they doing?

Candidate: Getting up a head of steam.

Examiner: Or?

Candidate: They are knocking at the door.

Examiner: The final score is 0-0. How do you sum up?

Candidate: Honours even after a gripping encounter.

Examiner: Very good. Would you like to start this week with United?

Candidate: It’s a massive game.  

For a spoof its very, very accurate…

No wonder no one is watching it any more.

On Monday, we showed you this..

jimmybee November 27, 2017 at 12:21 pm · Edit · Reply →

Caption: Cant wipe the smiles of our faces Lenny, says Broony,i can says lenny, Ambrose is back in january. 

today..

Michael Jordan in Paris, 1985:

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henkesdreadlocks
6 years ago

Aaaaghhhhh!! I was just getting that night out of my system and you do that. Cruel Ralph, very cruel.

Devoy45
6 years ago

Caption: Josh Meekings goes for a racial makeover and now plies his ‘trade’ in French football. (Fenians don’t forget!)
Ralph excellent ‘Fir Park for fun’.
Truth will out(as will true football)
Refs, don’t bottle it.

Monti
6 years ago

Bobo Balde hangs Neymar’s bawz from the top of the Eiffel tower.

Monti
6 years ago

Could someone put up the clip of ‘ Spuds job interview ‘ from the original Trainspotting film.
I need some inspiration this afternoon.

TicToc
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Enjoy, Monti. HH

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  TicToc

Cheers

6 years ago

He’s wearing Air Louis Jordans!

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Desimond

Who..Spud?

mike
6 years ago

His balls are bigger than Ralphy’s.

I heard that from a friend!!

Cortes
6 years ago

Caption: Kiki the Frog to Mme Zsazsa: “Check out them hot Paris buns, hon.”

Martin67
6 years ago

Caption: the irish can’t believe a goal has been given. If that’s not a hand ball by Thierry Henry fuck knows what is.

mike
6 years ago

If some think that Scottish fitba. is of a poor standard, think about the managerial merry go round doon sooth, where the same auld faces do the last tango in Liverpool, West Ham, Everton etc. etc.
Get the heave-ho from one club sit around on your erchie and lo and behold another club comes calling cap in hand. According to reports oor Brendan rejected two EPL clubs over the past few weeks. That is no surprise, a manager of his quality is hugely in demand and no wonder. Think about that, every second rate foreign coach has been tried and failed the test in the EPL. even some of the so called top coaches have to spend..zillions and still they mostly fail, fail.

CarlJungleBhoy
6 years ago

Caption: Dembele leaps to escape Kipre’s tackle during impromptu France training session

Tim Buffy
6 years ago

Don’t throw the ball up there. That pointy thing will burst it.

Dziekanowski's nightclub child
6 years ago

Caption: Don’t ask any ‘rangers’ fans to describe this picture!

ROB O'KEEFFE
6 years ago

Spare a thought for Lustig after his wife’s car and kids Christmas presents were nicked…

Tubbytubthumper
6 years ago

Caption: WTF are we doing – I was told I was in Blackpool

mike
6 years ago

As we stride across our Irish land,
holding tightly our AK47’s in our hands,
there has been to many tears,
spread over so many years.

All the time hoping to stay alive,
hoping and praying that you survive,
fear becomes your endless friend,
your life could see it quickly end.

So three cheers to the brave, brave lads,
look after our family’s mums and dads,
for we leave to fight for our native lands,
with a song and prayer book in our hands.

Puggy67
6 years ago

Caption: In a dramatic reconstruction the exact trajectory of Kenny Miller’s left and right testicles after Jozo’s tackle are plotted.

Mike Annis
6 years ago

Caption: Ok Douglal, OK, one last time. He is small… but the tower out there is far away. Small… far away…

Mike Annis
6 years ago

Ralph, read that email from That other blogger about the Craig Whyte story. True nothing new or earth shattering sonit was back to slandering Phil today. He def has a problem.

Bognorbhoy
6 years ago

Caption ..
Basket baller …
“Do you think I can jump higher than the Eiffel tower “?

Of course you can , the Eiffel can’t jump

Honest JohnBhoy
6 years ago

Caption “I know I’m walking in the air but don’t call me a fucking snowman”

mike
6 years ago

The lambs escaped and finally I found them in the paddock, they were gathered around the fire of brush that I cut yesterday, singing…..
Ging gang woolly woolly woolly woolly,
got ya ging gang goo, ging gang goo.
Ging gang woolly woolly woolly woolly,
I’m frozen stiff in the igloo.
Pair wee bassa’s.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Chop chop nom nom kebab

TicToc
6 years ago

Anybody got a stream? I can only get a radio broadcast.
HH

portpower
6 years ago
Reply to  TicToc
TicToc
6 years ago
Reply to  portpower

Thanks, Port. I didn’t manage to watch it. 1-1 isn’t the end of the world as our closest rivals drop further away. Hope we put in a good shift on Saturday and avoid more injuries prior to the big match on Tuesday 5th.
I know this is ancient but still makes me laugh: What do you call a hun in Europe? A tourist.
HH

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  TicToc

Tic Toc,
If you want to see a real ‘ Stream ‘, sit next to Mike at the football, dinnae offer him a tissue, you’d be better giving him the whole box 🙂

portpower
6 years ago

It`s not from lack of chances here. It`s composure in front of goal that is letting us down game by game.

portpower
6 years ago

1-1, 3 added minutes

portpower
6 years ago

Final score 1 each.

Monti
6 years ago

Yon commentator shot his load when Motherwell took the lead……but Celtic are never beaten!

Stupid, stupid Huns.

TicToc
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Aye, an’ a Sincy penalty right at the end, you weren’t far out really, with your, er, hopeful prediction. 🙂
HH

rebus67
6 years ago

Well! Excuse the pun! We should have learned a lot tonight. Firstly, we urgently need a quality CB who can both tackle and win the ball in the air. An industrial team like Motherwell caused all kinds of panic in our defence, simply because of height and physical presence. Secondly, there is a lack of creativity going forward. We build up too slowly. It is almost as if we wish to beat ourselves. We get the ball around the halfway line in a promising position and instead of moving forward we pass the ball backwards and then start to build an attack. Thirdly, we need to start taking more of the chances that we create, else we shall find a lot more situations like the last quarter of the game tonight.
Finally, Edouard will not do. For a big guy, he has no impact.
Great fight back by the team, though, but forget about making an impact in the Europa. We need to get to another level to do that, and that requires at least two quality signings in January.

Tin hat on!!

Rebus.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  rebus67

PISH

rebus67
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

You are too predictable. Cannot believe it took you seven minutes to come up with that!

Have a nice evening. Pity I cannot share a jar with you and put you right.

Rebus

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  rebus67

Never say never Rebus….

rebus67
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Monti,

Next time I am in Scotland, I shall look you up.
It would be good to meet you. Normally, I visit my home, Glasgow. Are you close by?

Rebus

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Rebus,
I reside in the East of Scotland m8, next time you are home, let me know through Ralph & a few of us would meet or a jar or 10.
HH

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

It’d probaby be 10 🙂

BondiBrian
6 years ago

Nice one Sinclair.

65+ Still unbeaten.

portpower
6 years ago
mike
6 years ago
Reply to  portpower

Well done and so they were!! 😉 Port good mahn.

Broxburnbhoy
6 years ago

Foul count tonight Murderwell 18 Celtic 8. Under these circumstances it’s unlikely any team can play with any fluency. This number is fouls really needs a couple of sending offs. Referees need to be very aware of this number of fouls and have a word with the captain or manager. Clearly the game plan was to kick Celtic black and blue. I dislike this approach to football and the teams that do it and get away with it. I’d like to see us jump this load if thugs at Celtic Park by a wide margin.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Broxburnbhoy

Weered,
I used to wear Aluminium studs in my playing days, you weren’t allowed to wear them in the Scottish ( ameteur ) cup, so you would put plastic or rubber ones in.

mike
6 years ago

Its a double edged sword is retaliation, its good to get it, but its what it results in, red cards and the thugs like them at Motherwell depend on that. To-nights game was always going to be difficult baring in mind the feeling of injustice aided by a wee hun manager and the hun press. So well done to the team for keeping your discipline and a huge well done to Sinclair who heard the jeers and the coconut tears and the big rock candy fountain and stood up to them and converted a wonderful penalty. 66 going for 67 at Celtic park on Saturday, the slump continues.
As for the hun press and well every hun…Get it right up YEZ.

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Aye but in a sleekit way and if your gonny get sent of then do it right, make sure they canny get up and that their face/legs/ankles/arms, any area in fact, show the imprint of your studs.

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

😉 Always liked a cute hoor!

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Plenty choice in Dundee……

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Weered,
It’s important to have a dirty cunt in the team, look at years gone by, Patrick Vieira, Roy Keane,Steve McMahon & Paul Ince to name a few….great players but dirty with it.

TicToc
6 years ago

Absolutely brilliant from Scotty Sinclair, and that took real balls. Well done Scotty. Well posted, Port. G’dnight.
A very difficult family day tomorrow.
HH

mike
6 years ago

And for the next trick, here stands Squinty and his soft bones for shares, enjoy yersell the morra Squinty cos Bobbo’s gonny get yeh.
Bobbo being the take over panel.
Dallas Dallas the card carrying member of the blue brigade, well done you for taking on the mantle of your bigot faither, a penalty to the brethren in blue a stonewall penalty denied to GMS and a one yard offside third goal, how good is that. Its good to see him walking in his daddy’s footsteps. If it looks like a bigot, acts like a bigot, makes bigoted decisions, chances are he is a bigot, anybody got any spare one pound coins?

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Hugh Dallas still has mine 🙂

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Aim….Fire…Good Shot!! 😉

mike
6 years ago

Nitey ginger and yes….S.S. (Scot Sinclair) the bhoy with the big balls. And there is my caption comment.
Caption whose balls are these, Scotty Sinclair of course, they are big, they are round and in Helen they are found!!

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Filth….women aren’t there as sex objects you know………
They can make sandwiches as well.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

…..well most of them can 🙂

mike
6 years ago

Keep on going jimboh. 😉 God loves a tryer.

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Absomalutely!!

6 years ago

Fuck that old Belgian cunt calling us peasants. Smash the waffle eating weirdo pea dos I say

mike
6 years ago

I love a Belgian truffle, you dig them up skin them and then cut them up, seems appropriate.

mike
6 years ago

Take the poison arrow from my heart, heart,
take those poison arrows from my eyes, eyes,
you know that if you see him you despise, despise,
take those poison arrows from my knees, knees,
if then you see her you can say, please, please,
oh yes please Susanna, whhhooo.

mike
6 years ago

Sad to hear that Paddy goes of with his hamster, hope he gets better soon, but once again a wee bit profligate in front of goal, just skelp the f….ing hing, but huge admiration for Scotty and loved the ear hole at the rusty steel men, well done Scotty you showed your baws
and well done Calmac for your bottle run in the box. Poetic justice and well done team for your fight and spirit, loved it.
God bless the Celtic.
J. C. (John Clark).

mike
6 years ago

Free range hens…..Home, home on the range!
Where the deer and the antelope roam,
where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
and the coos get there milking at home.
WHOOFUCKINHOOO.

Devoy45
6 years ago

Was out, couldn’t hear the match last night.Got home in time to switch on my computer (can’t stand the radio pundits) for the BBC
on line coverage. 88 minutes it was 1-0 to Motherwell.I was thinking that was the end of our unbeaten run. I went for a quick cuppa and came back and it was 1-1! What a team! Sinclair scoring the penalty made it even sweeter, plus, with the Sheep losing, we actually gained an extra point on them. Ah, the little pleasures in life. I’m proud of our team that never gives up. Anyone who was at the game can tell me about the penalty?

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