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Celtic Diary Saturday November 4: It’s Happening Again…

Well. technically, not again.

Its actually a new club honouring the traditions of the old club.

Tell you more about that in a minute.

Image result for you tease gif

No.

You see, Celtic are in with a fairly decent shout of doing what no other British based team has ever done. Avoid getting beat up in Perth, which was 60 notes return on the train plus beer and fags, and they have a decent claim about being the most succesful team in Britain, depending on the criteria you use.

As long as it doesn’t count winning European trophies or surviving Graeme Souness as manager. In the long term, that is. If you aren’t particularly bothered about winning any more trophies.

So, today, Celtic may well have something to sing about.

However, over in the darkness on the other side of the river, the accounts were just published. Around five months late.

On an entirely different note, Ken Dodd, the only funny fellow to come out of Liverpool , turns 90 this year, and he still refuses to let anyone else write his story.

Then again, he probably never met this guy…

Image result for fat controller gif

Without doubt, this is the most dangerous guy in Scottish football.

He knows where the bodies have been put into cold storage, and is threatening to put them in the microwave if anyone steps out of line.

All to do with a book he is writing, as he’s fully aware that nothing lasts forever.

Would you believe he’s not the only one with that idea?

You see, there are some pretty staunch lassies down that way. Ok, maybe not pretty , but certainly staunch.

And while she’s been going about her business, whistling tunes about flutes, sashes and no more catholics, it appears even she has had enough.

Believe it or not, and thats kind of the point of todays diary, because I love being told these wee tales, but aren’t entirely sure if some of them are not a wind up, I want you to make your own mind up.

Image result for you are the jury

I can only check so much, and in this case I can’t be arsed, so its down to you.

All I can do is repeat what we were told. By a lass who was overheard as she went about her business at Ibrox. Anyway, when she eventually usurps the fat bloke who shouts a lot it will certainly put a hole in his pension.

Which, bearing in mind the Ibrox entity released their accounts after 8 oclock bells last night.

I haven’t looked at them. I don’t need to. In fact, I have more faith in our own sources..

I’m still not sure if I should even edit her words, after all, as she says, its her magnificent octopus…

Image result for octopus cartoon images

she quite likes that colour, and the nature of her work allows her a sort of “access all areas “..

Anyhoo, she says.. and you have to put this in context, to her pal , while someone was listening..

If you hear the word forensic it’s usually connected to the dead , I heard the word used this week in relation to the accounts at my work . The parting of the ways of Pedro and Squinty   has led to a forensic and close look at contracts and accounts in the big room . See that man fae  Qatar  who put the money up for  Pedros caravan of hope ..aye ten million.. sure he wants  wants his money back .  Pedro getting his jotters breaks the  contract as far as i know and  then this will cause massive problems here and thats your admin again,  …new club new administration…of course . Heard them saying its all about timing…

Heard that guy with the dodgy hair saying he was worried about the papers getting hold of this, but then they all started laughing and I didn’t catch the rest ..something about l level 5 ,

 They are like me at computer games and never seem to get by that level …..they could look at the accounts that where due in July ..what you mean they haven’t been released yet surely they are curious as to why … well……I for one will miss Pedro and his caravan of love another addition to the gift that keeps on giving . It would be interesting to hear one day his story but I fear like the caravan being up on bricks the dog will be muzzled after all it’s bark was worse than it’s bite ……. 

Of course, she didn’t know that as soon as she clocked off last night, the accounts were out.

Actually, it seems they are way out.

Lets cross refernce what she says with what an old friend of mine told me.

“I’ve not been fucking paid yet. you get these in.”

Turns out that his dream job at the Academy isn’t what he thought it was.

Again, a wee bit of cross referencing, and he’s not the only one…

Which brings us back to Wur Lass…and her ever reaching tentacles

Image result for octopus cartoon images Another wee bit i heard  ..know that old chestnut.. about the dodgy roofs out there . Sure you  heard about the state the roofs are in and we cannae see how the stadium got a safety certificate ?

I  always  thought the whole thing at ibrox was a land grab but Green snuck under Whytes nose and changed the paradigm ( Paradigm -Ed ? Look, thats what she said-Ralph )at ibrox there is a good chance I’m wide of the mark with that but they keep on about moving to Hampden s and the state of the stadium the new head scout played for  you never know …..quotes are in for work oot there and there was a right to do when the workmen wanted  £200,000 and that’s just for the work on the inside of the roof above the seats not the part open to the elements . And that was without the “fucking materials “ ( My parenthesis )

She doesn’t even know that a fair few at their academies haven’t been paid, but she did hear them talking about when, and not if, they will go into administration, and apparently someone on a conference call wanted to know if they were happy to admit they were a new club..

Something to with points deduction.

 

I could check all this, if I could be arsed.

But to be honest, I can’t be bothered.

If their support can’t be arsed, why should I ?

But see when I see our own magnificent octopus, I’l buy her a drink.

At least she cares.

 

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Monti
6 years ago

Quite fancy fetting one of those female Octupus, look at all the chores she could carry out….at once.

£100 squid for the pair?

mike
6 years ago

Very interesting Ralphy, succinctly put, mind you, walls have ears and ears have wax and wax disny pay…..any tax, a habitual occurrence at the bigot dome. Like the octipussy pics. just remember if she scratches your back, don’t in any circumstance…scratch hers or you might end up in….jail.

mike
6 years ago

Perth is the home of the….Black Watch, they have had a long affinity with the regiment, indeed auld Mick my granddad signed up to the regiment in bonny Dundee with his brother Tom in 1911, leaving their home in Kildare seeking employment. My father he also joined them when he was 17 because of WW 2. The people of Perth in the main have no sectarian ties indeed they rail against it, so I would ask the very few dafties in our support to….respect that.
The Saints have a great deal of respect for the Tic. having said that they will be trying there hardest to end our run of winning games.
But don’t think that Celtic will not be doing there best to continue our winning run…..they will be well up for it.

jimmybee
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Well said Mike, cant be hard just stay quiet for the minute and think of the loved ones in our own Celtic family who gave so much our grandfathers, great grandfathers who gave their all side by side.
If you cant just stay out till its over.

jimmybee
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Though i think i will belt out this later tonight 🙂
https://youtu.be/ZUxsbmmQECE

6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Isnt that no more..just one wee Scottish Regiment these days?

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  Desimond

The history, the traditions like Celtic, these things never…Die.

The real Anton Rogan
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Respect the Black Watch.

Fuck right off.

mike
6 years ago

Nobody said…anything about respecting the Black Watch…but you.
I said to respect the people of Perth, who have no sectarian ties and indeed “rail against it” so you get your facts right, ya fucking clown.
The support observed a minutes silence.. in remembrance to the people of all Nations who died in two World Wars perfectly and that had….Fuck all to do with the Black Watch.

The real Anton Rogan
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Ooooh.Internet hard man.

Step away from the keyboard ya muppet

mike
6 years ago

Well now he’s changed the narrative, firstly its respect the Black Watch..”.fuck right of”.
Now its….Ooooh matron, get a grip, I gave you an answer which you never acknowledged and now….
an instruction to….your the muppet and the day I take orders from tits like you, well that day will never come.

jimmybee
6 years ago

A great day for the bhoys in Perth today.
History makers its a privelage to be part of it. Lets hope we do it the Celtic way with goals and free flowing football.
If not a 1-0 Boyata goal will do.!!
Gordon
Lustig Boyata Tierney
Forrest Broony Armstrong Mcgregor Sinclair
Dembele.
COYBIG

Tenerifetim
6 years ago

“Forensic ” usually implies legal dispute or the law surely in Accountancy ?

Cartvale88
6 years ago

Great piece Ralph,
Onwards to 63 undefeated at Perth

6 years ago

Id like to be
Under receivers
in an octopuses gardening leave
By the sea

Mike Annis
6 years ago
Reply to  Desimond

Mind Ringo was a terrible singer

Mike Annis
6 years ago

Great read but being slow and slightly thick I hadn’t a clue who you were referencing. Anyway, beware of octopi, they can forecast results you know.

6 years ago

http://celticbynumberscom.ipage.com/progress-no-points/

Much to admire in Celtic’s performance but undermined by defensive errors and game mismanagement (and nae luck).

Cortes
6 years ago

Thanks.

I’m a sucker for a good octopus tale.

Rufus Roofwrong.

Cortes
6 years ago

Forensic’s a sad new clumpany!

jimmybee
6 years ago

Brendan selects the same team that faced Bayern.
3_0 the hoops Boyata anytime scorer.

mike
6 years ago

His name was….Angello and he sang here we go….again.

If you were in business and that business was nearing its end and was money..less, you would look to mortgage the buildings that is if you owned the buildings or you could sell the buildings or any other assets. Say you sell your buildings and the ground for say a housing development and relocated your employees to another area. That would get rid of your money…concerns, allowing you to continue your business. That to me could make sense, but if you do not own the buildings or any other assets then you are……fucked.

Yoker Bhoy
6 years ago

Strong-looking team but Griff isn’t even on the bench. I hope he he’s ok.

mike
6 years ago

Great first half with a well worked goal by Sinky, straight from…Lennoxtown, Forrest still on fire, Armstrong getting his mojo back Moussa looking strong..Broonie doin the Broonie, all round good play from the TIC, watch oot fur mad-hun…
Second half sun behind us onwards to….63 there’s nae mair fish in the…sea….except…Octa…pus.

BondiBrian
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

“Sinky” deary me. Anyhoo… great result. 63+

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Mike,
Great goal from Sinky but i think he needs a wee rest, when Roberts comes back i’d maybe leave Sinky out for a few games.

mike
6 years ago

Tired…legs and good substitutions that is the key to…63, onwards to….Victoreee.

mike
6 years ago

Excellent observation of the one minutes silence from….all the support, well done, you made me proud! at least.

jpm 88
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Totally agree mike . Showed a maturity in our support .Just stay silent to send them back to the drawing board .
Sometimes we can over – think these things when simply staying silent is the answer to thwart the mischief-makers ; and remember that’s the second time in a year we’ve disappointed them .

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  jpm 88

Yes you are, as always….right oan the money, nice to see you posting…….all my best, as always. 😉

Puggy67
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Well said. Several Sunday back pages scrapped at 12.31pm

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  Puggy67

How true..Puggy my mahn, the news last night and todays chip wrappers should be full of the correct story…63. and not that pish.

6 years ago

Armstrong and brownie stand outs

Yoker Bhoy
6 years ago

Magic! Huge congratulations to our record-breaking invincibles. To go 63 games undefeated is unbelievable and I don’t see why this can’t keep on for a good while yet. Let’s go for 100+. Fine performance all round – let’s see if the sheep and huns drop a few points today.

HH

jimmybee
6 years ago

Well done Brendan and the bhoys.
If you know your history its enough to make you go sixty three .

mike
6 years ago

HISTORY………BHOYS………63…onwards to…….67.

A marvellous team performance,

We ARE the…..INVICNIBLES….who oh, who oh, who oh.

Devoy45
6 years ago

63 in a row! What an incredible achievement. Well done Brendan and the bhoys. A convincing performance! hail, hail…

mike
6 years ago

The Glib and shameless….LIAR.

“Rangers” must regain a dominant position at home and compete meaningfully in Europe….again.

BBBBBAAAAAWWWWHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA. Should get a job spinning yarn at the cotton mills, or shovelling shite at the sewage works, cos….. he’s worth it and is mair suited to it.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Somebody remind King to pick the shovel up that’s in the middle.

63 undefeated eh?
And a couple of year back when i said go for Brendan, i was told “no chance” by the gobshites on here.

Today Gordon 6, Bitton 7, Boyata 2, Lustig 6, McGregor 6, Sinclair 7, Brown 7, Armstrong 7, Tierney 8, Forrest 9, Dembele 9.

Rodgers 10….in a row!

Doc
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

2, really?

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Doc

Yes really!

BondiBrian
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Bollocks . You touted Moyes. The man’s a fool.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Language now, remember your daughter reads this site…….wouldn’t want to offend her would you?

mike
6 years ago

His Brendan changed his name from……Moyes then. 😉

No you were absolutely right, how lucky are we, I can feel the pride sweating out my very…core, who could have possibly guessed that we would be at this point…to-day after those two desperate years of sweats and anger.
When eventually Brendan does leave us for a top Spanish side, but no for another 6 years I hope, I will be greetin my een oot.
Good performance points…. 😉

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Mike,
I regularly said Rodgers or Moyes, as you well know m8.
If Brendan is here for 5 years or more we will collect some silverware, of that i am sure.
HH

Wisnae me
6 years ago

Same club or not (I vote for not) they are not getting hit with a 25 point penalty for an insolvency event as the previous one (club or event) happened over 5 yers ago.

“E5: Where a Club, whether owned and operated by the same or a different Member, suffers or is subject to an Insolvency Event which results in a deduction of points in terms of these Rules and within 5 years of the date of such Insolvency Event suffers or is subject to a further Insolvency Event which is not part of the same Insolvency Process as the Insolvency Event then suffered, the points deduction applicable in terms of Rules E1 in respect of that second or further Insolvency Event, shall be 25 points with the 15 points in Rules E2 and E3 being 25 Points”

mike
6 years ago

Three and..clear at the top of the table as the sheep do what the sheep…do, meh meh. Cume-by shep.
And Graeme Murty must be a shoe-in fur the mankies job, they canny afford McInnes besides he isny..daft, just…glekit.
The Hibee’s our main rivals as i’ve said often this year dispatched the Dundee cake’s and sadly McCann will be heading back to Sky very…soon, tattie-by….ya tube, yeh wilny be missed.

mike
6 years ago

Devoy’s take on all things…Celtic, me and…Monti, he he he. 😉
It is my firm belief that there is summit wrong with that loving relationship, Monti as Devoy’s long lost son…Fiends and families starring….Devoy is the new Davina McCall, wooft..lovely arse there Devoy.

Doc
6 years ago

Brilliant performance today, we’ve reached a new plain this week. Whole team played well. British record broken, next European record.

Ralph, sent an email to you from a new address.

Puggy67
6 years ago

On the topic, standing in a pub and overheard the barmaid telling her pal about how bad her second job was serving in Ibrox hospitality. Seemingly a chap was thrown down the stairs at a Xmas night out. It was the director’s party.

Devoy45
6 years ago

Mike, is it true that sniffing too much slurry can cause mental hallucinations! Gettin high, doon on the fairm eh? If Monti is my lerv child then that explains his great intellect in persuading Brendan to manage our wonderful club. I was one who thought we couldn’t afford Brendan or that he wouldn’t want to come up to our wee league. I was in the Moyes camp but didn’t think he would come up here either. Me and Monti agree on Brendan and James Forrest but not on Efe, Deila and now, Boyata. Mike, perhaps Monti is your lerv child for he too dishes out manure from time to time? But Celtic brothers, let us rejoice. Let our winning run continue… Brendan has got my Celtic mojo back! 4-0 is the right way to establish a British record. I’m feckin chuffed!

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  Devoy45

Devoy, it is completely true that sniffing slurry can affect your mental….wellbeing but it does not explain your close relationship with the lerv child, but intelligent he is…..sometimes, in the nicest possible way. Nor frankly does it explain your fabulous….arse. (HE HE). Yev gotta larf.
We all have rejoiced at Brendan and “the Brendan effect”. bearing in mind the results that he has achieved with mainly the same players that his predecessor had, it is definitely a time to rejoice, we rejoice, the players..rejoice and the people who appointed him are larfing all the way to the bank. SOAMUR.
We hope that Brendan stays for a long time and that the rejoicing continues for……years.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Hoi Staedler & Waldorf….enough already 🙂

BJF
6 years ago

Why has Paul Paton been booked in his last 6 matches against Celtic, is he a bigot?

Puggy67
6 years ago
Reply to  BJF

He’s just pish.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Puggy67

🙂

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  BJF

The facts suggest that he is BJF thinking back to the time that he was
accused of assaulting our Polish goalie in a back lane in the west-end of glesga a couple of years ago. When he played for Dundee Utd. he always had that edge to his play whenever he played Celtic, he is a Norn Iron player, so he joins a few of thems like Laugherty in that
that extra edge appears in his play when playing the Tic.
A dirty wee fecker.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  BJF

BJF,
Because he’s a Desparate Dan chinned hun wank!

BondiBrian
6 years ago
Reply to  BJF

Paton put in his place.

Puggy67
6 years ago

Today we witnessed something no Celtic fan has ever experienced. It may well be that no Celtic fan will witness it again. Tonight I’m taking a wee bit of time and with a wee nippy sweety cherishing the achievement. Remembering too my folk, gone now. Who stood on those terraces watching teams lose and sometimes be cheated but trudged through the piss and the mud knowing they would be back in a fortnight. It’s a good time to be a Celt. Catch the moments as they fly.

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  Puggy67

Well said Puggy bhoy, remembering the cheating from the cheats, but their hearts stayed true to the cause, the mark of a true supporter.

mike
6 years ago

I did reply in the affirmative BJF, I think he is.

6 years ago

Paton is a toetall bawbag as weel as a biggotted bhunn.

BJF
6 years ago

Thanks I wonder could a journalist ask him why he is booked so often against Celtic?
I know what we think about Scottish football journalists but it would be good to put it out there?

Monti
6 years ago

This new record we have set hasn’t sunk in yet, one thing i do know, 100 year old records aren’t beaten that often, so i’m going to fet half pished abd celebrate it!
Just back in from a two hour walk with my Hunfinder extraoirdinaire Hound, sit, good boy.
He doesn’t like the fireworks tho.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Get and!

BondiBrian
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Guy Fawkes:the only man who went int parliament with the right intention.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

It’s the thought that counted m8 🙂

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

” My name is Steven…..it’s my Island ” 🙂

Monti
6 years ago

Good good!

Monti
6 years ago

Onto the next record, what is our record for consecutive victories? Is it no 24 or 26?

BondiBrian
6 years ago

Guy Fawkes:the only man who went int parliament with the right intention.

portpower
6 years ago

100 year record achieved and broken from thy of us that achieved.
You bloody beauty Bhoys.

On the slump again,just can`t wait to get on the slump again…

I noticed some players at St.Johnston made it their own choice to wear the poppy on their strip.

With regards to the cookbook of sevconia:
How do you tenderise an orange octopus?
Bring L5 aromatic cups of water to a braise.

Jabba & Kerr,the Scottish version of Eddie and Patsy at PR`n.

GIRFUY

sevco Ku Klux Kaput FC.

mike
6 years ago

Pished masell laughing at Broonie doing the Broonie yesterday, his….tet a tet with the arse wipe that is Paton, twas funny to behold watching his antics trying to get him sent off, even…mad-hun thought that it was funny, well done Broonie you are still……da-mahn.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Do you no usually pish yourself at your age?

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Mibbee, that’s fur me to know and you……. 😉

mike
6 years ago

Has Bitton found his right-full position as a centre-back, I thought that he was..brilliant yesterday, like all the team, but his…take-out from the back, striding forward left the opposition scratching their..arse’s.
Even his heeded challenges he won, as was his positioning, he slotted in nicely with Boyata who also had a great game, you could McLean Tommy Wrights secret weapon running about like a heedless chicken.
Lustig to looked like Mr. Motovator, he was like the rest of the team….well up for it. Dembelle, strong and pushing aside the Saints back line and took his goal with the angled foot….majic.

mike
6 years ago

K.T. What a player, what a find, getting bigger, stronger, faster, getting better and…better.
Gordon, K.T. Calmac, Armstrong, Forrest all Scottish players featuring often for the Tic. that is just great to witness from a supporters point of view, with more young players coming through…chuffed to bits AMUR. Its great to see them achieving the recognition that they deserve, from this so called desert of fitba. talent. More professional, more talent, mo-power.
Players from the past during the “empty hours” when there was nothing to do except go to the bookies or get pished after training, they now go out to the golf, train harder look after themselves better and are more professional. How good is THAT for us to witness….MAJIC.

Devoy45
6 years ago

Monti (Mike’s lerv child) I just googled your question about consecutive victories. The Scottish top-flight record is 25, under Celtic’s Martin O’Neill in seasons 2003-2004.

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  Devoy45

😉

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Devoy45

Devoy,
Cheers, i thought it was in the mid 20’s…..like Mike’s date of birth.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Subtitles please?

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Gotcha!

mike
6 years ago

£6.7 million pound loss.
£15.9 million pounds worth of soft loans.
£10.00 million pounds loan
The glib and shameless LIAR…potless, according to his take-over panel lawyer, the buffon, hands in his pockets ala Jimmy Calderwoods caricature, scratching his….heed/baws, contributing..fuck all.
A stadium, training facility and car-park, still under… contested ownership, Whyte owns it naw, Green owns it..naw, who…owns it, well all this grief with no hope of the next King Billy riding in on his white horse to…save them, only a complete balloon would attempt that, then again….. all this spell’s…………………
DISASTER….for whom the bells toll, jingle jangle.. balls all tangled in your World. HAHAHA. cos….your worth it. 😉

portpower
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

They want to tell their connected events, real or imaginary.

£ssssssssssss…

sevco escheat FC.

portpower
6 years ago

G`day Mike.
All that dirty bassa Paton did all game was whiff.

Madden was on protection watch.

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  portpower

Happy November the fifth my Aussie friend hope you and your family are all well, tis a day to celebrate the continuing success of our beloved club. 63.going on………..
A magical time to be a…Tim. B.R. (Brendan Rodgers).
Last Christmas I gave you my heart,
but the very next day..you gave it away,
next Christmas I’ll give it to…..Brendan Rodgers.

mike
6 years ago

Mikeys for the off…for the moment, chores to do, loving to attempt for my beloved family and sheep to…shag, will this…smile EVER come of. 😉

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Who nose? Maybe we will be smiling for many a year yet 😉

portpower
6 years ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brdqJ29PQac

sevco results do the talkin` #goingfor3iar FC.

jimmybee
6 years ago

Just had the misfortune to read an article by gorden waddell on Kieron Tierney.
The biggest load of shite i have had the misfirtune to read.
The pain of the guy is plain for all to see that he like the rest of the hun are just not coping with juggernaut of brendans invincbles.
Keep giving them pain and hurt bhoys.
They are at breaking point.

mike
6 years ago

He’s a real “Rangers” man,
sitting in the Govan stands,
making all his nothing plans…for nobodee.

He’s so blind, he cannae see,
just see’s what he wants to see,
a nowhere man who canny see..atall,
nowhere man you should worry,
take your time and hurry,
leave it all till someone else,
lends you all their money,
ah la la la, The Glib and Shameless LIAR.

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