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Celtic Diary Wednesday July 5: Laughter Is The Best Medicine

He’s not having the greatest of pre seasons, is the Belgian defender.

During yesterdays 0-0 draw with Slavia Prague, he picked up a knock and didn’t appear for the second half. He’s doubtful for the Linfield qualifier next week, but should recover his fitness if not his confidence.

Celtic dominated the game with the Czechs, but thast what the oficial site says, and as I didn’t see the game I’ll take their word for it.

The squad now flies back ahead of Saturdays game in Dublin with Shamrock Rovers.

They’d look pretty silly flying back after it.

Not as silly as Bruno Alves flying into Glasgow to join “rangers ” though… it didn’t go well for the plucky, cash strapped new club in Luxembourg last night.

Image result for stop it i'm gonna pee

Their first European adventure was cut short against the more experienced Progres Neidercorn, a side who had scored just one goal in Europe since 1981.

Image result for need to pee laughing gif

Last night they breached the Ibrox defence twice to secure a 2-1 aggregate win and send Pedro Caixinhas new look new Rangers spinning out of the competition before Celtic had even finished laying the pitch so they could play in theirs.

Image result for need to pee laughing gif

Of course the more loyal fans are still behind their manager

 but its not looking good for the man.

After the game, supporters attacked the team bus, prompting Liam Kelly to post a plea to let them out on instagram.

Hang on, Liam Kelly ?

You can see where this is going…

I MAINTAIN THAT THE VATICAN HAS INFILTRATED OUR BRITISH INSTITUTION. TAIGS WANDER THE HALLS OF IBROX. NO MORE CATHOLICS AT OUR CLUB.  

Logging off here for the night. Maybe the week. Potentially the rest of the year. We’re a joke. 

Well, yes, but its a very good joke.

For some of us…laughter was not much in evidence in the stands..

Fortunately, the stewards, seen wearing the new orange away top, prevented a pitch invasion and further trouble, none of them ever having been trained in Scotland..

Image result for zombies behind a fence

There was damage to the stadium, which isn’t surprising, but that was just the fans way of trying to convince european observers that they are still the same club.

Pedro has issued an official complaint about the colour of the seats.

Then he took full responsibilty for making an arse of it,

 “I’m just disappointed. I assume all the responsibility.

“We could not do what we were here to do – win the game.

“What happened to us today is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. That’s part of football of course.

“I’m always a positive guy and never give up. We believe in this process.

“It is a strong moment we are living in now and we need to face it with all our personality, character and strength.

“And that is what we are going to do because I believe in this process, I believe in these players and I believe in the work we are going to do.

“This is a strong lesson we need to learn from.” 

“The corner they scored from came from one silly loss of possession,” he said.

“After that, we knew we could not commit unnecessary fouls but that’s what we did.

“We need to apologise to our fans as they were showing this support, this loyalty to the club.

“They do not deserve this.

Oh yes, they do. They deserve all of this and more.

 

And yet it seems like only yesterday they were singing in praise of the Pedro revolution..

Now the music has lost its beat and there seems no way back for Caixinha , even though he’s only just getting started.

But its not entirely his fault. Well, it is , but the SFA/SPFL must take their share of the blame for allowing the new club to embarass Scottish football on the wider stage.

Was anyone really surprised by the outcome ? I wasn’t confident enough to bet on it, but with “rangers ” open to accusations of breaking the FFP rules, Progres would have asked UEFA to look into it had they been knocked out.

This way, the Ibrox club got their shot at Europe, avoided some nasty questions and now have another scapegoat in the name of Pedro.

That noise you hear is a collective sigh of relief from Hampden…

Their may be more trouble ahead later today when the Supreme court announces the final verdict on EBTs..

Bear in mind that no matter what it comes up with, the Ibrox club are still dead, the players and others still owe a fair bit in back taxes, and nothing can change that.

What could be up for change is the list of trophy winners if they were found to be guilty of not playing to the rules.

Or should that be what should be up for change… ?

In the meantime, it won’t be pleasant being a bluenose today, though they should be used to it by now..

Rangers have lost in the Europa League to Progres Niederkorn. If you haven’t heard of them, they’re from Glasgow

Rangers out of Europe in July by bunch of amatures from Luxembourg! As if Gers disgraceful history needed more football humiliation

Lustig ?

Related image

Yeah, Lustig.

Orange Order speaker at the weekend march “We need to get out of Europe it`s run by Catholics” Rangers:”Done!”

Oh no trip to Rome

No Sun loungers or beers with the guys

No Cyprus, No Greece, No even tae Leeds

Out of Europe on the 4th of July 

Anton Declan sent me another ditty on whats app but i’m still struggling with it, I would ask him to pop it in the replies though, if he will..

Anagram fun…. Progres Neidercorn >>>> I Censored Ger Porn 

I could go on for ever, unlike Pedro I guess.

Meanwhile, Bruno Alves has heard the score whilst flying to glasgow…

Image result for plane failing to touch down gif

As for Pedro, lets take a minute to remember the man..

 Yesterday, we had this..

This might be a nightmare of every medical student.

Monti July 4, 2017 at 2:11 pm · Edit · Reply →

Caption :Zombie reading: “It say’s here that even in death we aren’t dead, tell the deceased on the table,there is nothing to be concerned about “

 

Have to dash now, I’m away to the airport to pick up the lad, but I’m going to ask for something different today.

Either post an image or a quote that you feel sums up the last 24 hours and the next 24.

Depending on the big tax case result of course.

Or not..

I’ll go first..

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MJS
6 years ago

EBTS illegal – Suprem Court unanimous

BondiBrian
6 years ago
Reply to  MJS

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. Ladies & Gentleman I give you ……….HECTOR the VICTOR !!!!!!

Anton Declan
6 years ago

HAIL HAIL.
Oh what a laugh we had in The Hoops Bar, Guardamar, Spain last night!
As requested by the brilliant Ralph Malph:
“Tell all the Huns you know,
Inverness is as far as you’ll go
You’ll no need yir shades
Or yir buckets and spades
You’ll just need a sledge for the snow!”.
COYBIG!

bgbhoy
6 years ago

hmrc win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

henkesdreadlocks
6 years ago

STRIP THE FUCKIN TITLES NOW!!!!

liftedinmoscow
6 years ago

Congratulations Agent Pedro. First mission accomplished.

celtsfan67
6 years ago

As we knew, every Scottish football fan was cheated for ten years due to financial doping. The titles must be stripped. Karma is a wonderful thing. COYBIG. Ouch, my sides

The Budgie
6 years ago
Reply to  celtsfan67

much longer than 10 years…….10 years was the Big Tax case. Proven tax cheats prior to that as well.

Charlie Saiz
6 years ago
Reply to  The Budgie

I remember reading an interview with Hugh Adam who stated it was going on since the late 80’s though I’m not sure of the dates?
88-89 possibly.

mike
6 years ago

EasyJet!! ” In and out of Europe in 30 hours.”

henkesdreadlocks
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

3 hours surely.

Mike
6 years ago

3 hrs travelling 27 hours hiding 😉

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

EasyGers (To the tune of Come Fly With Me -Sinatra)

Come cry with me.. come cry let’s cry away
We can abuse some bargain booze
There’s a shop in Rothesay Bay
Come cry with me let’s cry let’s cry all day

Come cry with me let’s stoat doon tae the Bru
In Lala Land there’s an orange band
Who’ll toot their flutes for you
Come cry with me let’s fake old deadco blue

[instrumental]

Once I get you up there where the air is rarified
We’ll just glide, starry-eyed
Once I get you up there I’ll be holding you so near
You may hear angels cheer ’cause we’re together

Weather-wise it’s such a lovely day
You just say the words and we’ll beat the birds
Down to Ac apulco Bay
It’s perfect for a flying honeymoon, they say
Come fly with me, let’s fly, let’s fly
Pack up, let’s fly away!!

mike
6 years ago

Questions over the Lord Nimmo Smith enquiry as leak reveals that,
“Rangers” were given NO title stripping immunity.

Emjay83
6 years ago

Time for a big statement from Celtic demanding justice for the club and the fans HH

mike
6 years ago

Boiled down, the shame full guarantee states ” The SPL hereby undertakes, soley and exclusively to SEVCO and no other person—
That the SPL shall NOT take or commence any disciplinary proceedings
against SEVCO in respect of any EBT payments and arrangements.

That dirty little secret deal struck by the SPL “BEFORE ” the 5 way agreement.

The Scottish Law reporter by ECOJON Tuesday September 17th 2013.

Patrick Street
6 years ago

Progres in Europe as Brexit blues blow it.

mike
6 years ago

Hugh Adams, reported to Alex Thomson, channel four ——-

” I knew that Rangers cheated”.

mike
6 years ago

Succulent Media Succulent Murray, The SMSM. Shame on you !!.

mike
6 years ago

Charlotte Fakes reveals the secret 5 way agreement,

Oldco “Rangers”, Newco “Rangers”, SFA, SPL. and the SFL.

Strip the titles!!

Pensionerbhoy
6 years ago

Ralph,

On a serious note:

Arthur Vanderbilt: “Taxes are the lifeblood of government and no taxpayer should be permitted to escape the payment of his just share of the burden of contributing thereto.”

H H

Pensionerbhoy
6 years ago

Ralph,

Exceptions ALWAYS prove the rule:

J.C. Watts: “Death and taxes may be inevitable, but they shouldn’t be related.”

H H

Pensionerbhoy
6 years ago

Ralph,

If only:

John Marshall: “The power to tax is the power to destroy.”

H H

Pensionerbhoy
6 years ago

Ralph,

This one is “mint”;

Leona Helmsley: “We don’t pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.”

H H

Bgbhoy
6 years ago

0141 616 6000 option 4 then ask to be transferred to the spfl. I’ve raised my request for a refund for all my tickets that I have for the games in which an illegal tax system was employed

Pensionerbhoy
6 years ago

Ralph,

Now here is a man whose word should be trusted:

“Make sure you pay your taxes; otherwise you can get in a lot of trouble.”–Richard M. Nixon

H H

Pensionerbhoy
6 years ago

Ralph,

So it was suspected even before 1872:

“When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income.” Plato

Maybe we would be pushing our luck:)

H H

charlie
6 years ago

quote 20 in a row

Pensionerbhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  charlie

charlie,

They say it a lot better than I can 🙂

H H

charlie
6 years ago
Reply to  Pensionerbhoy

how ye doing pb ……aint life grand

Heltraq
6 years ago

Going for 41 …..

jrw
6 years ago

Schadenfreude doesn’t begin to cover it – Luxembourg and now the Supreme Court ruling.

charlie
6 years ago
Pensionerbhoy
6 years ago

Ralph,

I know I am getting carried away but it is karma accompanied by jelly and ice cream – lime green is my favourite this morning:

“When the super-rich use offshore tax havens to avoid paying what they owe in taxes, they’re reneging on their duties as citizens. It seems only fair to me that the consequences of that kind of tax avoidance ought to be loss of citizenship.”
ROBERT REICH, Common Dreams, May 23, 2007

H H

Pensionerbhoy
6 years ago

Ralph,

The Lord keepeth on giving:

“Taxes are like and unlike the rain, they fall upon the just and the unjust; most hardly upon the just because they will not resort to devious ways to escape the imposition.”
PAUL CARUS, The Open Court

H H

mike
6 years ago

The incontrovertible truth, proven in Law and acknowledged by Murray,
that “Rangers” were given an unfair sporting advantage, by using EBTs.

Does the SFA just accept that and ignore that?
Does the SPL just accept that and ignore that?
Does the Celtic board just accept that and ignore that?
Does the CSA accept just accept that and ignore that?

Strip the titles.

charlie
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

wits the child support agency got tae dae wae it ha ha ……………..strip the stolen titles

bgbhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

can he get in lower…?

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

That was below the belt 🙂

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Hugh Adam stated that they knew it was wrong and that they were cheating.

Pensionerbhoy
6 years ago

Ralph,

Can “bears” read? Ah, but then there is their impossible chasm – understanding!

“People who avoid taxes, like corporations that move to Bermuda or look for big tax cuts, are not paying their dues to their country. You use our banking system, our Treasury, our roads, our schools to train your workers, our sewers, our governmental protections, our court systems. It is patriotic to be a taxpayer. It is traitorous to desert your country and not pay your dues, putting the burden on people with less means to support your business. Do your duty to the country. Pay your fair share of taxes.”
PAMELA BOYD, “Taxes are like US membership fees”, Missoulian, May 31, 2017

I think perhaps enough is enough 🙂

H H

Pensionerbhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  Pensionerbhoy

I originally intended going for 55 but realised that was a fantasy 🙂

H H

6 years ago

I see Pedro was shouting and pointing whilst up to his knees in fern and shrub.

Cartvale88
6 years ago

Murray admitted in the Whyte trial that EBTs were used to sign players they could not have afforded.
That clearly is cheating, Hector has won today, so the only outcome is to strip the old Rangers of the titles. This is a demand that has to be met by the SFA and the SPFL, otherwise they are corrupt.
But what a 24 hours, could not get any better, down in darkest Ayrshire they look as if they have been shafted innumerable times.

Pensionerbhoy
6 years ago

Ralph,

This is just me – CELTIC BOARD? ALL SCOTTISH CLUBS?

H H

Martin67
6 years ago

Sevco showing the Tories how a hard brexit should be done

portpower
6 years ago

All Bampots,it time to take our Beautiful Game back.
Where do I deposit for crowdfunding?

6 years ago

The titles must be stripped. Regan Doncaster must be removed.
God Bless Phil. Paul McConville, Alex Thomson Angela Haggerty and all the internet bampots who tried to tell the truth. Today is for you.
Res12 must now be top of the list and Peter now has all the evidence required to finally kill them off. He must pull the trigger.

bgbhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

it could kill us off if he doesnt… tick toc peter

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

Tic talk surely?
😉

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago

Celtic Football Club have nowhere to hide on this issue now regarding tainted titles over the period that has been proven in Court.
They operated a system of tax avoidance in order to gain an unfair advantage over every side they played against in that period.
The Club if it has been keeping it’s powder dry until this verdict must now fire the opening salvo toward the SFA and those within it who conspired to ignore the blatant cheating by Rangers.
Time to sink these bastards Celtic.

charlie
6 years ago
bgbhoy
6 years ago

where is this fucking statement celtic?????????????

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

I should imagine there will be a Board meeting first before any statements are issued Bg they will want to be getting this right.
I would also imagine there will be phone calls going to and from every other Club affected by this?
After all we aren’t the only ones who have been cheated.
If the rest of the Clubs unite the SFA will have no fuckin place to turn.

rebus67
6 years ago

Charlie,

This will be the real test of Scottish football. Do the clubs want to clean this up or not. Are there too many skeletons in too many cupboards to be exposed?
If this process starts and is backed by the clubs, Regan and Doncaster, at the least, will have to go. Others who colluded in the NImmo inquiry will be under threat. I do not think the clubs have the balls to push this. It will be massively disruptive but needed.

Rebus

rebus67
6 years ago
Reply to  rebus67

It will also be very expensive because the chosen method of cleansing will be payoffs rather than straight dismissal.

Rebus

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  rebus67

I think those Clubs who lost finals or European dough will be chomping at the bit myself.
Those who know they have colluded will walk l believe.

BondiBrian
6 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

Sakeman, gie the club some time ti get the stetment oot. Its no been 24hrs since the verdict. There will be a stetment: what it entails ah dunno.

rebus67
6 years ago

Let’s us return to the Progres result for a minute. IMHO it is a bad result for Scottish football and justice. If Sevco had won the tie and Progres protested their illegibility to play in the tournament, then UEFA and its creatures would have been obliged to investigate the claim. This would have involved a scrutiny of the accounts submitted to the SFA and the latter’s approval of them. The accounts were not audited and there are a number of questionable items in them, e.g. regarding loans as revenue.

Since Progres have won the tie, there will be no protest and no investigation. So the collusion of today between Sevco and the SFA will not be exposed and the focus will shift to the EBT result.
Overall, Progres 2 Sevco 1 is a bad result for the integrity of Scottish football, even if it is laughable.

Rebus

rebus67
6 years ago

Some thoughts on poor coaches:

Often the effects of poor coaches are mitigated by certain players picking up the slack and producing reasonable results. This happened during the Deila era, where the effects of a poor coach were offset by certain players carrying the team, even if the team structure was out of whack.

In Pedro’s case, he removed the chance of that by dismantling the team that he inherited. So he was faced with an impossible task. There was no functioning team to offset his inadequacies as a coach. Failure was inevitable.

Rebus

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  rebus67

Deila almost secured a treble in his first season and broke a League defensive record that stood for 96 years.
In his second season he had a rake of injuries to key players (particularly in defence and midfield) and loss of form from several others to contend with.
Whether or not he was a poor coach is debatable because the simple fact of the matter is Brendan set the side up the same as Ronny for the bulk of last season.
After trying and failing to play both Dembele and Griffiths together for several weeks first that is before dropping that idea altogether.
now whilst I’m in no way suggesting that Deila was anywhere near the level of Rodgers in a coaching capacity let’s no go down the path of rewriting history here.
I could also bring up the actions of several key men in the dressing room (several of whom have now gone incidentally) who undermine what the previous incumbent was trying to achieve at Celtic.
Without the 2 years of input Deila had installed last seasons results would never have been attainable.
Deila already had the side playing in a manner albeit inconsistently which Rodgers is now promoting with greater effect.
The additions of Sinclair and Dembele have Helped no end in achieving that so far.
Deila had his faults but in the end he still delivered those titles that will posssibly allow us to sing of 10 INAR.
Y

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  rebus67

Reply has hit ether bar Rebus hopefully Ralph will call last orders and send the knob back here in a taxi for you to read 😉

portpower
6 years ago

Quote:

sevconians, up to their knieders in a maize.

Monti
6 years ago

Has something happened today?
I’m on a three day course in Edinburgh, might nip in and see Minty 🙂

Peter Lawwell? Speak up son!

Monti
6 years ago

Regan & Doncaster……all eyes are on you!

Monti
6 years ago

I think i’ve just cracked a semi…….the guy doing the course must be wondering why i’m grinning from ear to ear, when every cunt else is half asleep 🙂

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Shout dirty Hun cheating bastards at the top of your voice and wake the kens up then Monti 🙂

Charlie Saiz
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Too much?

bgbhoy
6 years ago

spfl board will study the outcome and discuss implications for spfl before commenting further….

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

The shite is hitting the proverbial.
Umbrellas getting deployed as we speak …

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

Peter Lawwell is on the SPFL Board …

The 2016/17 SPFL Board is made up of Neil Doncaster (CEO), Ralph Topping (Chairman), Karyn McCluskey (non-executive), Peter Lawwell (Celtic), Ann Budge (Heart of Midlothian), Ian Maxwell (Partick Thistle), Leeann Dempster (Hibernian), Eric Drysdale (Raith Rovers), and Ken Ferguson (Brechin City).

Bgbhoy
6 years ago

It’s going to happen.

Wisnae me
6 years ago

“Rangers FC did not gain any unfair competitive advantage from the contraventions of the SPL rules in failing to make proper disclosure of the side letter arrangements.

“Nor did the non-disclosure have the effect that any players were ineligible to play. For this and other reasons, no sporting sanction or penalty should be imposed.”

Perhaps this should be revisited along with the “wee tax case” that was never paid. All trophies won under when tax has not been paid (i.e. won’t ever be paid) have got to be invalidated. While this couldn’t be known at the time it is now and now is the time to act. The SFA should get out in front of this catastrofuck and announce all titles and trophies won by companies when social taxes will not be repaid are void. (Ignoring the fact that every game involving side letters should be a 3-0 reverse). Only then will they have a shred of credibility abroad – they will never have that in Scotland *cough*Farry*cough*.

Or… we can all bury our heads in the sand and pretend that there’s nothing to see here, move along.

henkesdreadlocks
6 years ago

Leões de Lisboa
6 years ago

Waiter: Are you ready to order, sir ?

Hector: Yip. Let’s skip straight to the jelly and ice-cream !

Waiter: And would you like anything else with that, sir ?

Hector: A large glass of GIRFUY if you don’t mind.

Waiter: Excellent choice, sir.

Hector: Aint it just ?

Mike Annis
6 years ago

You probably won’t get this far Ralph but you are being very unfair to The Rangers laughing at them. You say that the poor Luxembourg team had previously only scored one goal in Europe before this game, but then son had The Rangers so they were evenly matched. But then Luxembourg is nearer Rome which is full of bloody Catholics and so it was their fault.

As for a response to the recent events, bigots on parade in Glasgow, their club getting stuffed and their previous club now shown to be cheating so their is only one possible outcome. Nothing, the Establishment will rally round their clubs, Level 5 and their tame MSM will pump out Rangers good stories and the SFA/SPL will issue tautological statements that will even baffle Mensa.

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