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Celtic Diary Monday June 19: Back To Work…

To an extent, the 2017-18 season begins today.

The draws for the diddy rounds of the European competitions are made, with Celtic facing three hurdles to make the money soaked group stages of the Champions league, which despite the best efforts of certain clubs in the “big 5 ” leagues, still has some national champions involved.

Here’s how those three hurdles look at this stage.

Qualifying round 2; 

This is the one thats drawn today. Celtic will face a shite team, mostly made up of enthuisastic amateurs who will run around a lot when they have the ball, but stop and stare at Celtic Park’s stands whenever they pause to draw breath as they attempt to verify that there really are thousands of people watching them, and wondering where their mum is sitting. It’s possible to make an arse of it at this stage , but unless the players are still hungover from their break, or wondering if their wives will find out about the strippers who hung around the hotel after the away leg, there should be no real problem.

Possible opponents include the champions from most of the old Yugoslavia and Dundalk.

We don’t want Dundalk. They’re not a shite team as such, and would make it very difficult to progress. And defeat at this stage means no European football this season, which would see most of the team disappear before the end of August.

Qualifying round 3; 

It gets trickier here, as Celtic will no doubt face a well organised side who are well into their own playing season, or someone else equally capable. This is where the players have to be at the top of their game, as there will be a nasty fright or two during the two games.

If Dundalk are still around, they’re the ones to avoid. As indeed, are most of the others, including Linfoeld, who are poised to take over from “rangers ” as the worlds most successful club.  Defeat here would mean Celtic drop into the final play off round for the Europa League.

Some players would still leave, but not all.

Qualifying round 4: 

The pulling hair out play off, where Celtic could face a really decent side who are just as desperate to qualify as the hoops are. Up until now, the odds are the clubs we’ve faced are optimistic about the campaign, but not quite confident. Whiever we get here will have high hopes of qualification, curse their luck at playing Celtic, but will give it a go as they knew they would have to face a top side at this stage.

Malmo, Rosenborg and Partizan Belgrade are likely to still be around for this draw, which would be tricky to say the least, whilst on the positive side the hoops would probably be able to take care of Dundalk by now.

Not one for the faint hearted, and any elation at avoiding the Europa Group stages , and the sale of just a couple of players, would be tempered almost immediately with the appearance of a big gun pointing towards us when we find out its bloody Barcelona again.

But lets be honest, its fun, for the same reason we ride on roller coasters, leap into bungee jumps and try to tell the wife we haven’t been drinking.

 

Celtic won’t have Christian Gamboa for the qualifiers, as he’s hurt himself, but Johnny Hayes will be a part of things,

 

 and it appears he has already won  the hearts and minds of Celtic fans… well, mine, at least..

Speaking of jerseys, look at what the guy has agreed to do…

 

He might not be the world’s greatest player, but when he pulls on the hoops, I’ve a feeling he will think he is, and thats all we can ask for in anyone.

Welcome aboard , Johnny Hayes..

Image result for Celtic fans cheering

As we pointed out a while back, Celtic are interested in Jean Kevin duvorne of Lens, and according to French sources, have bid around £5m for him.

Could he be the mysterious third arrival ?

Well, no.

Those three deals are already done, and whilst we have no absolute confirmation as to who they are due to a lockdown on gossip at the club, we are sticking with our best guesses of Delph. bojan and one other.

Unless we can think of anyone else.

Christiano Ronaldo wants to leave Real Madrid, but Celtic are a bit more cautious about tax arrangements these days, he won’t be coming to this side of Glasgow, and despite being Portuguese, won;t be going to the other side of the river either, having never heard of Pedro Caixinha.

Or, come to think of it, “Rangers”.

Oddly enough, today might be the day the three names are revealed, although its not essential, as the current squad should be more than capable of dealing with the qualifiers..

Anyhoo, if there’s any problems .we’ll just get Stewart Regan to sort them. He doesn’t give a toss about rules, and is due us a favour.

Anyone else notice the film star looks of Celtic’s captain ?

With Stuart Armstrong resembling a young Harrison Ford, its typical of Scott Brown to not want to be left out of the adulation.

There’s more from the Ibrox songbook, which you will hear at Ibrox next season, it seems, although you’ll have to listen carefully and try to hear it over the noise of Ralph McTell spinning in his grave.

If he’s dead, that is. I don’t now if he is, and I don’t want to ring him and ask him.

Oh wait, it was Simon and Garfunkel. They’re not dead, but their careers pretty much are after they fell out and Paul Simon went away to plunder African music and claim it as his own.

Anyway, if Ralph MacTell is reading this, I’m sorry i thought you might be dead, and if he isn’t, who gives a toss what he thinks ?

There was no diary yesterday, as the sun came out and we had a wee fathers day barbecue in the back garden,

Image result for drunks in the garden

On Saturday we did the open letter to Peter Lawwell, which we hear he is digesting, though that probably means he’s eaten it in case anyone else sees it.

So, its back to Friday for this…

Image result for glasgow street photography

Brencelt June 16, 2017 at 10:59 am · Edit · Reply

kenny misser finally lands after that tackle from Jozo Simunovic 

And forward to today..

 

Hopefully I can finish reading my book on Stockholm syndrome today. It started poorly, but I’m beginning to like it.

 

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The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago

Caption: The worlds smallest Caddy tries to retrieve Tiger Woods car keys from the 19th hole at the US Open

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago

On the fitba…
Wondering if big Eboue might feature more this Season after a full pre season or whether Brendan will continue with Briton and McGregor as Broonies back up?
I read that Brendan is looking at adding another midfielder so my guess is one of those 3 might be making way for them?
Hoping McGregor is kept on myself he has the potential to make his mark at Celtic I think.
Out the 3 I would move Biton on.

mike
6 years ago

Let them fear Glasgow Celtic, we have nothing to fear, all we ask for is to be treated with honesty and respect.
A great tribute from Johnny Hayes, welcome Johnny, I hope that you enjoy your time here and play your part in our quest for honours.

Tony Carlin
6 years ago

caption, “one of Pedro’s latest signings finds out what happens if you bless yourself at training!”

mike
6 years ago

My pal Sean, hail hails from Fife,
he stays in St. Andrews, with his husband/wife,
his name is a secret, but it rhymes with todger,
I’m hopeless at secrets, lets call him Rodger.

They have been together for many, many years,
they came out and overcame their fears,
suffering prejudice insults and fears,
Sean is an auctioneer with McTears.

Their home is spotless with a great atmosphere,
Rodgers dad was an Irish volunteer,
where he came from was unclear,
legend has it he was a racketeer,

He wore a tunic with a bandolier,
he looked a lot like a Venetian gondolier,
he reached the rank of brigadier,
a fervent patriot, an Irish bombardier.
Up the RA, (Royal Academy).

puggy 67
6 years ago

Welcome to Celtic Johnny now get some factor 50 on that conk.

Caption: As the first ever all catholic sevco takes the field a lost tourist takes a seat in the Copland Road end.

Mike Annis
6 years ago

Caption: All right, which joker said the final was today?

charlie
6 years ago

caption wee billy gets the cold shoulder for buying a replica sevco jersey from sports direct

D'Fhinnein Mick
6 years ago

Inter Milan fan sits and wonders where it all went wrong.

Clue-Jock told you how we would play,John Fallon grabbed the prime dugout,Bertie took a right guid look at yer layers and started the battle-cry.

Sorry,son-you were beaten before you started.

mike
6 years ago

Lynx tries out its new flavour, its not BO its FO.

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago

Looks like we play the winner of the Linfield v La Fiorita tie

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago

Possibly on the 12 th of July…. oh dear

Monti
6 years ago

Charlie Saiz,
When you & your regiment were in Belfast, how did you all spend your day on the 12th of July?
Genuine question…
Just saying, like.

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

I personally spent it destroying barricades in the Loyalist areas of Belfast with an 18 ton loading shovel.
With a hoops tap on underneath my jacket.
A true story.

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago

…whilst whistling Sean South throughthe strains of a screaming 2 stroke Detroit diesel

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Monti
6 years ago

Ok…was just sayin like…sniff 🙂

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

You been buzzing man fat again Monti?

Monti
6 years ago

🙂

Paul
6 years ago

Linfield it is then lol

Mick
6 years ago

Aberdeen fans demand for a 50/50 split of cup final tickets successfull

BroxburnBhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  Mick

lol exactly

mike
6 years ago

It was written in the stars,
The Carnlough bhoy is going home,
last season the red imps,
this season, the red hand gimps.

jimmybee
6 years ago

Let’s hope it’s not them manky bastards. But if it is let’s hope we annihilate them,for the memory of Belfast Celtic.
It’s a grand auld team.

jimmybee
6 years ago

Caption: Build it and they will come.

jimmybee
6 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Just need another deck on top of the main stand m8

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Methadonian Dundee….

Martin67
6 years ago

Caption: As Lustig makes it 5 a lone bear is determined to hear the final whistle

BroxburnBhoy
6 years ago

I think Mike is right all those other teams will really want to avoid us. We are the most difficult game any of them will play. I think with the squad we have and a season under Brendan’s belt we will be formidable in the qualifying rounds at least. Bring them on.

jimmybee
6 years ago

Caption: It only starts with one voice, says a young Matin Luthar King.

D'Fhinnein Mick
6 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

JIMMYNEE

TIME marked the 50th anniversary of MLK’s I have dream speech with a special edition.

Seems he didn’t plan those words,they came out in response to the urging of another person on the platform.

Mahalia Jackson,a gospel singer.

He was struggling at the start,perhaps overwhelmed by the huge turnout.

He had previously co fifes his thoughts to her;she urged him-
“Tell them about the dream,Martin. Tell them about the dream”

So history happens.

maryhillbhoy
6 years ago

The official Mexican rangers supporters club holds its first meeting in the Azteca

jimmybee
6 years ago

Celtic should ask for this game to be swapped around in my opinion,for the safety of our clubs players and fans.
Bad enough playing them feckers anytime without that date.
Which of course they celebrate stupidly as this was not the battle that defeated the Jacobites.

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago

Caption: Roger Waters the acid years

TicToc
6 years ago

Or: FFS, I thought I asked you to build a wall…..

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  TicToc

TicToc,
Good evening to you old bhoy!

TicToc
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

And to you too, Monti.
As I’ve said before, much more unites us on here, than can possibly divide us.
All Tims together.
HH

jimmybee
6 years ago

Caption: I hear running water,where’s that coming from,says a worker at the Dam.

Monti
6 years ago

Poor drawin so many ways……must have been the Masons…

Woop woop
Guffaw guffaw guffaw

Monti
6 years ago

Caption: ” Fuck gaun for a pie at half time “

jimmybee
6 years ago

Well at least the Huns can enjoy hearing the champions league theme in Glasgow again.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Jimmybee,
Just wanted to thank you for your understanding & empathetic post last night, very much appreciated.
I see a few others have chosen to ‘ even up ‘ your post though, sad really.
Clear condemnation would have been more appropriate, Weered got it spot on & condemned the offender, much appreciated also.
I have got over the abuse now & after a light breakfast & walk in the sun….feel, well, contented.
Thanks again m8

HH

bgbhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

monti get over here for the game!!!!

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

Bgbhoy,
If you & i go to this game, we’ll be thrown out of Europe lol

bgbhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

hahaha as long as uefa switch the dates it will be fine

some of the linfield fans in work here saying if they can score in Glasgow then they can sneak it

I just laughed and walked away

the rock bar will be buzzing on the day of the game!!!

bgbhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

there will be a ton of sevco fans at both games, I actually think they will be doing there best to provoke a reaction and try get us banned or something…

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

Weered,
Have you ever been to Cowdenbeath?
Trust me Belfast would be a cake walk in comparison.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Cheers Weered!

jimmybee
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Monti no thanks necessary.
Weered never saw it,I was more than happy to point it out to him. HH m8

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Jimmybee,
HH my friend!

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

henke,
Good evening sir…
I see that Bgbhoy is on bumping his gums about tickets again?
He called you big nose by the way 🙂

BroxburnBhoy
6 years ago

Caption: an investor floods in for Sevcos new share issue

IRISHGUY
6 years ago

Caption…………..

Dave King finally gets the cold shoulder

Cartvale88
6 years ago

Caption
Pedro surrounded by adoring fans

Linnfield, now we have to listen to pish from them.

Devoy45
6 years ago

Caption:Devoy attends the Efe Ambrose testimonial. LOL
Will probably be Linfield at Celtic Park on the 13th, us there a week later?

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  Devoy45

away first.

BroxburnBhoy
6 years ago

Caption: Pedro invites Sevco fans to pray for a good season

mike
6 years ago

The drug called Celtic, its like cocaine,
you need your fix again and again,
you want to see every game,
get pished and then get off hame.

To win the treble is our aim,
to reach the C.L qualifiers, to much acclaim,
if we don’t then there’s no shame,
they try there best, then there’s no blame.
OOOHhhhhhhaaaa.
Fix me up before you go go,
I’m feeling lucky afore I go go.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Get some amount of ‘ Charlie ‘ up that conk….
Sniff

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

sniff sniff.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

🙂

charlie
6 years ago

tom rogics australia v germany kick off 4 oclock itv4

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago

Hi Ho … Hi Ho I am a young Provo
I work all day for the I R A Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi Ho
Hi Ho Hi Ho I am a young Provo
With buckets and spades and hand grenades
Hi Ho Hi Ho Ho

charlie
6 years ago

this is what the invincables can expect if its linfeild heers thur manager in action v celtic

charlie
6 years ago
Reply to  charlie
Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  charlie

Who? 🙂

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Yep, he most definetely is!

jimmybee
6 years ago

Linfield v Celtic wee question, how many away fans would you reckon they will accommodate for this game in Belfast.
It must go down as a high risk match.

charlie
6 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

jimmy their ground hawds 18000 but the average crowd is 2000 but every hun in the 6 counties will be wantin a ticket

bgbhoy
6 years ago

talk of banning away fans? uefa wont allow that to be the case I would of thought? its only an 18k seater? so we will only get a thousand tickets?

jimmybee
6 years ago

I’m sure their numbers will include the Chelsea loyal and their blue brothers in Glasgow.
Let’s hope the police are ready for the attacks no doubt will be planned for the gallowgate.
I can only see real trouble for Celtic in this,it’s the worst tie ever.

Rob O'Keeffe
6 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Yes but who will be doing the attacking? Bring it on Huns! We’ll molicate them!

mike
6 years ago

Wonder if they will get our players to pose for pictures with the local munsters.
Wee are the diddy men,
I am frank and he is ben,
oh they are the diddy men,
left right left left left.
Will odd job wear his bowler,
oh the ash my father swore.
anybody ken if there is walking fitba in Dundee?
I feel like getting back on track Mr Motivator.
with his rotovator. plough engaged. move…

Rob O'Keeffe
6 years ago

Caption: SFA CSC convention(Guess which one is P.L)

mike
6 years ago

UEFA arny the SFA, they will know what trouble this can cause and believe me they will know who to blame if trouble breaks out.
Away fans barred,
1-o clock kick off,
huge polis presence,
We shall not be intimidated, game on!!!

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago

Big Tam Rogics price will have gone up after this Germany game.
Scored 1 and 1 assist 3-2 to the Bosch

henkesdreadlocks
6 years ago

Celtic should not take any tickets for this game in Belfast and in return, no scum should be allowed into Celtic Park.

Bgbhoy
6 years ago

PISH

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Bgbhoy

🙂

Bgbhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Haha no bother grandad, that won’t be happening

henkesdreadlocks
6 years ago
Reply to  Bgbhoy

If you think you’re going to that game, I’ll boot your arse.

Monti
6 years ago

I think Bgbhoy would win that one 🙂

bgbhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

I agree

henkesdreadlocks
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

You would and no, he wouldn’t.

Rob O'Keeffe
6 years ago

We want tickets for Belfast,to hopefully meet up with Weered and have some craic.Signed ra Jesuits CSC.

henkesdreadlocks
6 years ago

Coward you say. Far from it ya fud.

Monti
6 years ago

🙂

mike
6 years ago

There’s a kind of hush all over the World tonight,
all over the World you can hear the sounds of lovers in love,
you know what I mean,
The only sound that you can hear,
is when I whisper in your ear, gtf.
la la la la la la la la.

Rob O'Keeffe
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Has there been any arguing on here today? Own up,who’s responsible?

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Rob O'Keeffe

Rob,
Good evening young fellow, all is well, what?

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Mmmmm nom nom 🙂

Paul
6 years ago

Heres one for u can u remember when oldco refused to play Shelbourne in Dublin 98 due to safety concerns the match was played at Tranmeres ground. We should do the same early kick off still won’t prevent trouble this is a poisonous fixture that has nasty written all over it.Football is Football,sectarianism is wrong, Uefa see sense either reverse the fixture dates or play the game at a neutral venue.

Rob O'Keeffe
6 years ago
Reply to  Paul

Can’t wait to get at them.Bring it on.Ive had Sevconites telling me today that they want to go to the game,wreck the toilets and the L mob get the bill.Hope authorities take note.Peter,ask for cash from the Sooside Sectarian Hoose,nae cheques,bouncy,bouncy,sorry for sweary words.

Bgbhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  Paul

they will get about 900 tickets, most fans will be on supporters buses, club make sure that people can get buses from Victoria street to and from the game with a decent segregation at the ground what’s the problem?? If Celtic fans are daft enough to go walkies around Belfast after a game like that that’s up to them. It can’t and won’t be that difficult to police. Clearly the police deal with situations like this regularly so why should this be any different.

Paul
6 years ago
Reply to  Bgbhoy

100000 sash hoarders is the problem bgbhoy. Only so much policing can be done this has oldcos uefa cup final rioting written all over it.

Bgbhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  Paul

if they want rip up the city that’s up to them, but a simple thing like bus to the ground and away again should eradicate any issues for celtic fans? Pretty much like most away days in Europe anyway?

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Paul

Paul,
Did Shelbourne not go 3-0 up in that game?

Paul
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Yes thats correct

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Paul

Paul,
Cheers m8

Monti
6 years ago

Does anyone have a copy of ‘ The Beechgrove garden’s top ten tips from 1985 ‘? 🙂

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Oops just heard the DVD’S have been removed from the shelves…….must be the Masons again.
Jesus wept.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

🙂

jimmybee
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

No but i remember the celtic garden at the culture fesfival in 1988

jimmybee
6 years ago

Waiting

Monti
6 years ago

Xavi speaking highly of Celtic today….
Always nice to hear the games greatest players praise our club!

Thank you, Xavi!

jimmybee
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Wonder who the daily ranker will wheel out for their spin nacho novo or weiss even jody garner

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

David Murray could be wheeled out 🙂

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

He’s always had positive things to say about Celtic often wondered if he would have come to us after Barca?
Quality player top drawer even in his twilight years.

Monti
6 years ago

CS,
Xavi & Iniesta were simply a joy to watch, unfortunately time catches up with us all.
Or maybe it was the Nasons that forced him to retire 🙂

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Masons…cough

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago

Welcome to Paradise Wee Jonny Hayes
It’s trophies and titles mixed with Euro away days
A following who embrace trickery on the wing
Sling in quality ba’s and your name we will sing
You have the talent and guile to make yer own mark
A chance to make history at the famous Celtic Park
All that we ask is that you give us your all
Play with skill and precision when your on the ball
Make yersel available when not in possession
Show some class and endeavour mixed with controlled aggression
If you manage all these things then your time will be fantastic
So come give yer all Jonny and welcome tae Celtic

Monti
6 years ago

PI……Not bad Charlie Saiz, decent 🙂

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

🙂

Monti
6 years ago

My favourite poet is Robert Gerard Sands!

The Charlie Saiz International
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Praise be to god for Bobby Sands
He would not bow to their demands
He held Jesus by the hands
Knowing his actions would help unite these lands

RIP Bobby

Tiocfaidh ár lá

Monti
6 years ago

CS,
Excellent!

jimmybee
6 years ago

Off to bed see if you can get through your archieve for the answer great oracle.
Let me know in the morning if you found it.

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