The general election has come and gone, and in its wake has left a hung parliament. I’ve got a load of rope in the garage, so I’ve put in a tender.

Nicolas Sturgeon , having won 56 seats last time out did a Celtic and neglected to build from  a position of strength , and gave away over twenty seats, several of them to that bundle of fun Ruth Davidson, who took the Conservative tally to 13, although her campaign was based around going for 55.

With the people of Scotland using their votes to show the rest of us that they don’t fully understand democracy, there were calls not to let them vote in Octobers election, mostly from me.

On a brighter note, Theresa May said she is not going to resign, and that means we can expect the flexible fuhrer to spend the weekend drafting her resignation speech.

Her performance was so bad that even former conservative leader Margaret Thatcher began to look worried..

But who cares ?

Really, what difference does it make ?

The poor will remain poor, the rich will remain rich, and the politicians will prove that all they give a toss about is themselves.

I’m still trying to work out how a fourteen year old muppet got voted in as the first conservative MP in Stoke on Trent. This means I now live in a conservative constituency, which is going to knacker any street cred I’ve built up over the years.

Anyway, back at the ranch, and the word in the pastures is that Celtic have already more or less completed their transfer business, but it won’t be announced until Brendan gets back from his honeymoon.

That also probably explains all the speculation in the papers, as frustrated hacks realise that something has been done, but they haven’t got a clue what it is.

But we know, don’t we ?

Me, too.

The core of the side, Gordon, Tierney, Brown, Armstrong, Forrest and Griffiths should be on international duty tomorrow, as Scotland play England ( technically neither are countries, but FIFa says they can be when they play football ) at Hampden.

As international football is the remit of the SFA, it’s not something I’ll be paying any attention to, save to hope that all the Celtic players come out of it with reputations and bodies fully intact.

On the one hand, there’s a desire to see how the bhoys will get on against their wealthy southern counterparts, but not that much.

Partly because it would mean a gloating Stewart Regan on the telly for days afterwards, as he tried to keep attention away from the fact that although innocent man Craig Whyte is banished from football, and might even be pursued for the money he is due in fines, Alastair Johnston , Paul Murray and Dave King are still happily engaged in thinking up more ways to drag our game through the gutter.

Interestingly, one reporter, who is paid to report, questioned the lack of action by Peter Lawwell around allegations of corruption and collusion, whilst at the same time continuing his own policy of ignoring the issue.

Well, you could ask him, Graeme. Its what reporters do.

It’s fairly simple , really.

Lawwell is accountable to Celtic shareholders, whereas the SFA are accountable to member clubs.

Resolution 12 is about honesty and transparency at the SFA.

They are the ones who have to explain their actions.  And inactions.

Back to the transfer whirly go round, and Eoghan O’Connell can perhaps consider himself unfortunate not to make the grade at Celtic, and he picks up his career in England with a move to Bury.

We wish him luck. He seems to have enjoyed his time with us, as this tweet shows..

Efe ambrose has finally signed a deal with Hibernian, we wish him well. He deserves a break after his incredible bad luck at Celtic.

Cardiff City have pulled out of the race to sign Johnny Hayes…which could mean he;s already sorted his future and is waiting for someone to get back off his honeymoon to announce it..

And a gleeful media notes that Diego Costa could be on his way to Milan, which means Moussa Dembele may be going to Chelsea. If Costa doesn’t go to milan, then Dembele will, which kind of means that in their minds at least, Dembele is away..

After his sojourn with the French under 21s, Dembele told reporters-mostly Scottish ones-;

“I’m now going on holiday. As for my future…we will see what will happen next.

“It was good to get back playing again because I had been out for some time.

“I wanted to come and play for the team.

“Of course, my goal is to get into the France team – that’s the big aim for me.” 

Theres a video online somewhere showing the Daily Records elite sports team discussing whether or not Celtic can retain Dembele this summer, which must be fucking riveting viewing.

Apparently they’re doing the Offshore Game Report next week.

Losing the Frenchman would be a blow, especially as there are now rumours of serious middle eastern investment at Ibrox…

His money will go towards the new recreational centre planned to help the newer players settle at Ibrox..

They need it, because Celtic aren’t hanging around waiting for them,

CELTIC Football Club is delighted to announce that it has smashed the 50,000 barrier for season tickets sold for the coming 2017/18 season.

Following an Invincible Treble-winning season, demand is sky-high for the Hoops, with fans returning in huge numbers to experience what we hope will be another fantastic season in Paradise.

There is much to look forward to at Celtic Park, with an early unfurling of our sixth consecutive Scottish Premiership flag, the team will be defending an historic domestic Treble and in July we will begin our journey again to reach Europe’s top table – the UEFA Champions League – for the second year in a row.

Scenes from trophy day at Celtic Park and our Treble-winning triumph at Hampden are fresh in the memory and we are sure they will linger for some time. All Celtic supporters will cherish these great times and as we look towards next season, our hope and our aim is to create more wonderful new memories for our fans to savour. 

We are delighted that so many fans want to share in this exciting season and everyone at Celtic would like to sincerely thank our season book holders for their continued commitment to the Club. As ever, we will be doing all we can to ensure that it is another successful season.

There remain some seats available which fans on our waiting list are now also taking up. Anyone still wishing to access a season book through the waiting list process, should contact the Celtic Park Ticket Office.

Celtic to create up to 120 jobs with hotel and museum complex

A statement read

The proposed development will result in the creation of some 100 to 120 permanent full and part-time jobs and will contribute positively to the regeneration of the Clyde Gateway area,”

“The direct creation of over 100 new employment opportunities will be a major boost to the area and will clearly contribute towards the key planning aim of achieving sustainable economic growth.

“There is currently no quality hotel accommodation within the area between the city centre and Tollcross despite the key attractions of Celtic Park and the Emirates Arena.

“The current lack of hotel accommodation in the vicinity means that everyone attending events at the football stadium or the arena requires to travel on the day of the event, adding to traffic volumes in the surrounding area.”

“By locating the proposed hotel immediately beside the stadium and arena pressure on the local transport network will be reduced, particularly at times of peak movement.

“Experience elsewhere also demonstrates that hotel restaurant and cafe/bar facilities adjoining a football stadium can help to spread the timing of trips over a greater time period avoiding peak periods.”

Its Friday again, and therefore we move to our popular regular feture, the Etims

Knob of the Week 

Another tough week to judge, and again some highly commendable entrants.

Perhaps it was experience at this level that helped him secure the title…

A figure like former Rangers owner Craig Whyte will not be allowed to enter Scottish football again says Neil Doncaster

Step forward again, Neil Doncaster, the dopey head of the SPFL, showed us what a fool he is with this statement, while at the same time allowing three of the board who destroyed Rangers onto the board at “rangers “, who he says are the same club.

Yesterday, the picture we showed you was this one…

Today, a blast from the past-or a glimpse of the future… again, ignore what the photographer says it is.

Elsewhere on the site, there’s a revealing insight into the work of foodbanks, which seems set to not only carry on but expand over the next year or so, and an excellent chat with James Doleman, who allowed us to see what really went on at the Craig whyte trial over the last six weeks or so, preventing the SMSM from giving us their version…

Have a look at them.

Finally, I did get a chuckle from the election…