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Celtic Diary Thursday June 1: Making It Up As They Go Along

When you read the papers, listen to the radio or watch the telly, please bear in mind that the players and management are away on holiday.

That should make things easier when you assess such stories as “Celtic in for Ings ” or anyone else for hat matter.

Although Rodgers will have given Lawwell his list of things to get this summer, the only one being worked on just now is the pitch.

The rest can wait until everyone gets back to work.

There’s no rush. Top players tend not to sign deals this early in the window as they like to wait to see if anything better comes up. Sure there’s always one or two who can;t wait to land their dream move, but in general, anyone signing up now will be a loannee happy with where he went to-such as Efe Ambrose to Hibernian-or an over the hill defender anxious for a last pay day over two years.

I think you  are aware of to who we are referring.

however, Scott Brown had his wee break when he was suspended, and Brendan has told him to keep an eye on things while he is away.  though there is a great big alsation sitting next to him, with instructions to bite if Brown touches anything.

However, he can talk to the official website, who can stop him saying anything stupid.

Instead, Brown gave us a sort of “this is how we won the treble ” ramble…

“I am proud, but it’s down to the lads who are at the club that I am still playing.
“They worked so hard throughout the season and dedicated themselves throughout.
“Whether that was having nights out, or going into training because there were not that many days off.“You don’t see your family as much, but the dedication has paid off.

“In the first six months, we had to get as fit as possible. We came back not the fittest and the gaffer was on about everyone’s body fat. 

“We managed to get that down 10 or 12 per cent in the whole squad.

“That shows the dedication and effort that was put into it.

“The gaffer stuck to his ways and he’s wanted us to play good, attacking and attractive football.

“We managed to do it through the season and got ourselves a lot fitter than we have ever been.

“Turning up on big occasions, we thrive on them.

“We believe that, no matter how fit anyone else is, our fitness is better.

“We showed that all through the season in various games and we’ve dug ourselves out of a few holes.” 

Its been a fantastic season, and now everyone can take a moment, pat themselves on the back, and look ahead.

The break is important, as is reflection. There’s no point in achieving anything if you don;t stand back to admire it for a moment or two.

But that in itself leads to more ambition , and the work will start all over, from a higher level, as soon as the players report for pre season training.

With no one around to confirm or deny stories, the media, both mainstream and online, can allow their imaginations to run wild.

Like we do at Etims every day.

We’ve heard of Arab investment, leading to a name change for Celtic Park.

We’ve heard of several players in, and nearly everybody out.

In fact, put the two together, and we’ll be seeing a different eleven start next season at a different ground, whereas it will only be the pitch that is different.

 

What seems likely is that should Celtic sign Patrick Roberts on a permanent deal, which cannot be completely ruled out, the bulk of any fee could come from Manchester City, which will save a few quid on bank transfers.

Virgil van Dijk, who left Celtic to join Southampton, is the subject of a bit of haggling between the wealthier English based sides , with a fee anywhere between  50 and £70m the likely outcome.

Celtic are due around ten per cent of any fee, cleverly inserted by whoever negotiated the original sale of van Dijk.

A nice wee windfall, ensuring that Virgil van Dijk is possibly the first player Celtic have sold to give us his true value at the time of sale.

Another feel good story concerns Keiran Tierney, who took to social media to prevent a young fan getting skanked…

When he saw this, the player checked his wardrobe-just to be sure, and replied…

We’ve plenty of things to feel good about just now, and its all positive stuff.

In fact, there’s no need to poke fun at our friends over the river, as they combine with the mainstream media to shift season books.

And anyone who tells you they are on course for a record, ask them where the pictures of the queues are…

There’s no need to, but we’re going to.

Here’s something to save for the end of the season, or whenever Alves breaks down…

 New “marquee” signing…director of football sounded out…

For a long time, the nedia have been accused of bias towards whichever entity is in place at Ibrox, but they have, in fact, found a way to please both sets of the Glasgow divide.

For the blue side, its football pornography. Driving them wild with unrealistic fantasies.

For the green side, its comedy gold.

Whereas Billy says “Have you seen this in the Record, ” and touches himself vigorously where he wee wees, Timmy is afraid that the appendage in question will leak another type of fluid due to incessant and uncontrollable laughter.

Image result for stop it i'm gonna pee meme

Just  by adding the word “shite ” to that sentence uttered by Billy.

Its not confined to the media. The gullibillies are trying to cheer themselves up as well…

 

Council funded trees ? How the mighty have fallen….

Incidentally, trees tend to be green, but they could adapt…

Image result for orange trees

And they keep coming up with marvellous little ditties..

 

Something else, on a serious note, that should contribute towards the general good feeling that we have right now is the imminent collapse of the trial against Craig Whyte, who is charged with fraud…

 

Breaking: Defence tells the court it is calling no witnesses

Which is what you do when the prosecution have offered the square root of fuck all.

There’s no point in calling a witness who might worsen your case, and findlay presumably reckons he’s already done enough to win.

Findlay suggests court adjourn to give the to prepare closing speeches. Crown Thursday Defence Friday Judge sums up Monday

I’d follow James Doleman on twitter if I was you. At least he tells it like it is.

 

Yesterday, we had this to consider..

Tom Parkhill May 31, 2017 at 10:34 pm · Edit · Reply

Caption: “Look Mrs Parks, rules is rules, and young Rosa needs to sit separately”. 

Today…

 

 

 

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Alzyerpal
6 years ago

Caption; Kenny Miller has landed.

CarlJungleBhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  Alzyerpal

^ Winner!

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Alzyerpal

Quality lol!

Dziekanowski's nightclub child
6 years ago
Reply to  Alzyerpal

I second this as the winner

jimmybee
6 years ago
Reply to  Alzyerpal

Magic

Mike Annis
6 years ago

Caption:Honest Mr Hoover, he just slipped.

Bognorbhoy
6 years ago

Caption

Found this I.d. in his wallet.. says his names Kenny miller

joe
6 years ago

do you think he fit for saturday

Tony Carlin
6 years ago

Jozo leaves Kenny Miller flat out

CarlJungleBhoy
6 years ago

Caption: Jordan Rossiter’s comeback hits another snag

Martin67
6 years ago

Caption: Gutted, he missed the spikey railings

Southside Tarrier
6 years ago
Reply to  Martin67

That’ll do for me.

CarlJungleBhoy
6 years ago

” ” ” “

mike
6 years ago

The “Rangurs” are coming, to a chapel near you and breaking news
there new signing is Pablo Eskabar, free dope to the gullibillies, to continue there voyage towards, going for 55, well that looks like SS, mibbee that is mair like it.

Findlay has a reputation of being a great summer upper, that’s when he isny singing Faith of our Holy Fathers, we will be true to you till death.
Canny wait for Whyte’s serialized stories appearing in the Daily Hun, Green Whyte and comedy Gold.
Great read again Ralphy, when yer good and you ken it!!!

Morto
6 years ago

Caption:
Apparently Dave King said, “jump and I promise to catch you”.

6 years ago

When is John Eustace signing for the zombies? I heard it is in the next 48 hours. Wonder what pish level 5 will leak to the Huns this year.the gullables. HH.

Monti
6 years ago

Caption: Domino’s Pizza promotional shoot.

Hope that wasn’t ” tantamount to bullying “, Weered?

jimmybee
6 years ago

Caption: Scottish refs can’t decide if it was accidental or not.

jimmybee
6 years ago

Brilliant night in London last night.
HH to the lions.

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Jimmybee,
Glad you had a good night
HH

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

SSOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKK. slurp, slurp.

Gerry Rankin
6 years ago

Oh they’ll be jumping oot the windies when we win!!

charlie
6 years ago

caption the drunk guy havin a lie doon says fuck me thats some size a pavement

mike
6 years ago

Green Whyte and comedy Gold.

The Crown, Whyte bought “Rangurs” for a pound, with conditions, that he paid the Bank debt, the wee tax case and paid for stadium repairs and paid £5 mill. into the player pool. That he did not disclose to Minty that he was gonny borrow the money from Ticketus and that he had immediate funds available independently. Findlay will sum up on Friday, he has a great reputation for his summing up speeches.
Minty was DESPERATE to sell, at any cost, they didny do any investigations into Whyte, his background or funds, they didn’t care, as long as he took the quid and signed.

jimmybee
6 years ago
Reply to  mike

Mike I haven’t been following this case to be honest I couldn’t give a hoot how it ends up.
It just looks to me as a complete waste of time and money. What is the purpose of it in your opinion.

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Jimmy, it is just that a waste of time and money, Findlay will do his summing up tomorrow, with the verdict next week, if Whyte is found guilty, what can they do to him, not much I think.
But it has been revealing, in terms of what has gone on behind the scenes, administration was considered, Minty and his pals having to appear in Court and explain themselves. Most importantly for us, it was the confirmation that the wee tax case WAS proven to be outstanding and now we have confirmation that they applied for a UEFA licence knowing full well that it was outstanding.

JoeKSG
6 years ago

Ah the old days, as the song went “They’ll be jumpin oot the windaes when we win”.

greenmaestro
6 years ago

Intense sweeper training about to start at Auchenhowie.

mike
6 years ago

Probably my two posts were sshhhhsss a secret or rubbish, sooo.

mike
6 years ago

I don’t like fitba, no no, I love it.
I don’t like fitba. no no I love it.
I dont like close season, no, no, I hate it,
I don’t like close season, oh no, I hate it, yeh, yeh.

mike
6 years ago

Ya Hooooo I’ve goat ma voice back.
I was walking doon the street,
I turned to ma mama,
I said, do you remember me,
I’m hung like a banana.
She said, your a lying pape,
she said, your hung like a grape, oh yeh.
She don’t like cricket, oh no, she loves it, oh ye,
She don’t like cricket, oh no, she loves it.
silly moo.

Wisnae me
6 years ago

If the pitch is being replaced, is it still the same club?

If “rangers” buy the old Celtic pitch can they claim they won the treble last season and should play in the Champions League?

Admin
6 years ago
Reply to  Wisnae me

physically laughed out loud at that…post of the season!

mike
6 years ago
Reply to  Desi Mond

I second that, so did my post, but like the others it disappeared, keep your eyes on the day job. 🙂

ROB O'KEEFFE
6 years ago
Reply to  Desi Mond

WOT UTHER WAAY KAN UH LAFF OUTT LOUUD?? POOR, AWFUL SIGNED BR (ON HOLIDAY)

Wisnae me
6 years ago
Reply to  Desi Mond

“Post of the season”? I still recall the one in Amsterdam in 2013, The Holy Poley.

mike
6 years ago

Mair comedy gold, Prentice, the chief prostituter, there was no indication that the club was going bust, hahahas.
eh well that isny troo, good job your no under oath Alex.
cos it was indicated earlier that, administration was being actively considered.
Mibbe Ive been reading the wrong case notes.

Good yin Wisnae me, wish I had thought that one up. Its true cos there weans are gonnybe Tims after all.

Iancelt67
6 years ago

Caption
Hamilton player splayed after gers man yellow carded

Iancelt67
6 years ago

Caption
Joey Barton’s vain attempts to run from loan sharks comes to a miserable end.

JimmyBhoy
6 years ago

Bobby Madden …. “It’s awright, that wee boy Tierney ran right into Stockley!”

Celtic By Numbers
6 years ago

Farwell to Efe. Lovely guy. This is mine from February when he left on loan

http://celticbynumberscom.ipage.com/ineffable/

Monti
6 years ago

He’s fucking dreadful!

Celtic By Numbers
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

part of the defence that created the record for clean sheets

Monti
6 years ago

Oh for fuck sake……

Celtic By Numbers
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

fact dat

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

It’s also a fact that one of the first things Brendan did on his arrival, was to omit Ambrose from the european squad list and ship him out on loan asap.

Strange dat!

Wisnae me
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

@Monti one of the first things Brendan did was get beat 1-0 by Lincoln Red Imps, just sayin’… 🙂

Monti
6 years ago

” lovely guy”(Ambrose)? So fucking what?
That doesn’t win you football matches.

Give me a Ryan Giggs or a John Terry everytime….a pair of cunts but winners and world class ON the park!
Winning tackles, commanding a defence, scoring goals and WINNING…is more important than how many fucking autographs you sign.

Celtic By Numbers
6 years ago
Reply to  Monti

I never claimed it did. Did you read my article? Not that I am trying to get in the way of your anger. Most enjoyable.

Monti
6 years ago

Anger?
Not angry in the slightest, just stand by my convictions.

mike
6 years ago

Nearly £100 million for finishing LAST in the EPL.
Van Dyke could if he is sold to the top of the EPL clubs, make £180,000 per week. Ten times what he made with Celtic, Paddy Roberts would have to sacrifice a hell of a money to come back to us. Much as he loves the Tic. it is going to be extremely hard to see him back here.
The word is that Armstrong is gonny sign a new four year contract, soon, where are those pearl drops of players hiding in plain sight, it’s getting harder and harder to find them, come out, come out wherever you are, we need you!!!

jimmybee
6 years ago

I think the squad is in great shape,a couple of quality signings and all will be well.
Like you say Mike,the money on offer in England is just unbelievable,and even championship teams can outbid us. But we have to show that the way for players to the top teams in England is through Celtic.
Van Dyke, Wanyama Forster should be the bargaining chip,as well as European football to get a player to come,not forgetting of course our wonderful fans.
Quality not quantity will be the key. In Brendan we trust.

Iain in Alberta
6 years ago

As for Efe – he is very athletic, can head a ball, tackle, control a ball, my god he can even do somersaults but he had absolutely no awareness of what was around him and he never new when to pass or where to pass the ball. Juventus showed him up big time. In big games against good teams he got found out. The Barca game was the exception in that he had no decisions to make. Just tackle and keep in position.

HH (Harry Hood)

jimmybee
6 years ago

Talking to the London cscs on Wed night they say that the waiting list for season tickets is well over 5,000 now.
Happy days

tamhickey
6 years ago

Is that a photo of David Dickinson joining Sevco? Might as well be, about the same age and cheap as chips

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