Celtic Diary Tuesday May 16: Brown, Business Plans and Birkikara Banned

Before all the usual excitement of the daily diary, the laughter, the tears and the exclusive revelations , lets pause for a moment to mark a truly outstanding achievement.

Scott Brown has completed ten years at Celtic.

I know, its flown past.

From the narky wee lad who joined in 2007, we have watched him mature, sometimes slowly, granted, and take his place among great Celtic captains of yesteryear.

These days, its rare for a player to stay so long at one club, especially with the financial rewards available down south.

Its been  while since anyone got a testimonial, and Brown deserves his.

Brown goes back to 2008 to pinpoint the beginning of the change in his attitude…

“I got suspended for four games at the end of my first season. 

“The rules had changed and six yellow cards got you a suspension so every season I’d be suspended four times. I missed the run-in to us winning the league at Tannadice. I came back with two games to go and we had won four or five in a row so I was on the bench for the last two games. 

“I came on but thought I better change my ways instead of missing the games and I wanted to be part of the team that won the league.

“Don’t get me wrong, it was phenomenal still to be part of the squad and winning games. 

“But from there Gordon sat down with me and we spoke about it and I went on to have one of my best seasons the next year.

“I felt as if I owed him. Everyone knew I was a wee bit immature when I signed and it was more on the field than anything.

“Instead of following the man back I would end up trying to win the ball and mistiming the tackle, picking up silly bookings and that sort of thing. 

Image result for dog chasing ball on beach

“It was just about changing small parts of my game to improve everything and he was the one who did it. That’s why I owe him.” 

“When I first signed I was a cocky little p****. I’ve enjoyed every single minute of it and there have been ups and downs. But there have been a lot more ups than there have been downs. I could have gone to England but the main thing was Gordon Strachan

Oddly enough, Strachan may have coached the cockiness out of Brown, but it never quite left the former Celtic manager. Especially if you disagree with him on anything.

“The wee man was brilliant when I went and spoke to him. He understood what was going to happen and from that moment he was phenomenal – everything about him, the way he trained and the way he spoke, the way Peter Lawwell spoke as well and how highly they spoke about me.

“I didn’t speak that highly of myself so it was quite good of them. I was a wee so and so but I wasn’t a defensive midfielder, that’s for sure.

“I would bomb on, run about and chase every single ball and tackle anything that moved. I didn’t have too much quality on the ball or the vision to see a pass. 

“It was about getting my game away from the running and chasing a ball so I got two dogs to do that for me instead. Gordon taught me how to play in a position.

“He played a 4-4-2 at the time and made me more of a defensive midfielder rather than an attacker and I used my legs at the back. He got me to understand my game.”

Over the years he has worked on his game and is now one of the better players at Champions League level.

As this statistic, from UEFA’s site, indicate..


At that level, that is outstanding. And his experience will be vital in next seasons campaign.
Someone else looking ahead to next season in Europe is Moussa Dembele, and he caused despair in the Scottish media when they realised he was talking about doing it with Celtic..

“We will be better prepared.

“We have played a whole season together and have done great.

“Next season will be better although I can’t say it will be easier.

“One thing for sure, we have improved this season and are now a better team. 

More important, we are a cleverer team.

“To come up against great players was a great learning season for us.

“It was great experience and it was good to compare ourselves to the top clubs.

“We have seen what we have to do to get there and we will work hard to do better next season.

“The manager knows what he has to do to make the team better.”

 “I think everyone has seen what I’m capable of this season and hopefully next season I will be even better.” 

Doesn’t sound like a man who’s Tottenham bound…

Stuart Armstrong hasn’t finished laughing yet, so we cannot truthfully give his view on a potential move to West Bromwich Albion.

Anyone who doubts the enthusiasm the mainstream media has for a fire sale at Celtic should consider this, from the Sun..

PODCAST | Do you think will allow Jozo Simunovic to join this summer?

The wording implies that Simunovic wants to go, and the move only needs the nod from the manager to make it happen.
They still haven’t admitted to themselves that the players rodgers wants to keep all want to stay at Celtic. that, as they say, is the bottom line.
Its also worth noting that those linked with a move to Celtic all conform to a pattern.
They are all young, all highly rated and all have their path to the top level-UCL-blocked by expensive first class talent.
In short, they want to progress to the next level, and despite what you may hear fro the likes of Talkshite Radio and even our own mainstream media, champions League football is as good as it gets in club football.
A few of our players, for instance, will hopefully achieve something for the second time in their careers, something unique..
 And you don’t get to play international football unless you get noticed. Unless you’re Scottish, then a couple of games of kick and rush down Hackney Marshes gets you in.
Its that time of year when UEFA licences are handed out, or , indeed, refused if you don’t fulfill the criteria. Unless you’ve got a pal on the inside prepared to lie for you, or prepared to ignore the rules, then if you don;t qualify for a licence, you won;t get one.
 Some reports indicate that clubs don’t actually get refused a licence, they are merely given a list of things to do to bring themselves up to scratch.
There may well be a few alarm bells ringing down Kinning Park way this morning..
From Malta Today..

Birkirkara FC denied UEFA license, Valletta FC to play Europa League

Birkirkara FC’s UEFA licence application was rejected after it was unable to satisfy all the requirements of the licencing process 

This story prompted a surge of instructions fron Stewart Regan to his staff at the SFA, and to his colleagues in the media.

Image result for head in sand image

Unlike our own FA, or our media, the Maltese paper goes on to explain exactly what its all about..

The Malta Football Association has rejected the appeal filed by Birkirkara FC, ratifying the decision of the MFA Members Club Licensing Board which had denied the club a UEFA license for 2017/18.

Birkirkara’s UEFA licence application was rejected after it was unable to satisfy all the requirements of the licencing process, bring to an end the team’s record of 20 consecutive years’ participation in European football.

Valletta FC will now be replacing Birkirkara in the Europea League next season.

The UEFA licence is a necessary requirement in order to participate in European competitions, and Birkirkara FC were the only club not to be given the license this year.

The MFA gives the UEFA licence to clubs who first of all apply for it. Moreover, clubs must not have any overdue payments towards other clubs, players and inland revenue. 

Evidence from an ongoing court case suggests that these rules were flouted in Scotland a few years ago, and once that court case is concluded, and we’ve all stopped laughing, there will be moves to look into why the SFA didn’t follow the rules and allowed a non eligible club to receive a licence.

There was an astonishing revelation this week at that trial when it was suggested that Craig whyte didn;t even give David Murray the quid he bought the club for.

Doesn’t that make the transaction void ?


Even if it just costs a shiny pound, that doesnlt mean you shouldn’t pay for it in full.

Image result for shoplifter caught

With money still in short supply across the river, the Ibrox support rallied round and made a few suggestions as to how they can begin to compete with Celtic on a level playing field again.

Well, when I say again, I mean for the first time, as even when they didnlt offer tax free remuneration, there was always someone around to scratch their backs or fiddle with their knobs.

Some of the suggestions are certainly worth considering..

  • Open a huge ‘Showcase Store’ on a brown-field site with immediate proximity to Ibrox. The “store” won’t actually sell anything at all but Rangers invite all brands, companies and corporations to showcase their produce within the ‘store’ an charge the companies a fee for this opportunity, the idea is that rather than sell the goods, the customer can come to the store to see all the latest and most popular products in the UK, by scanning the barcode or whatever the customer can search for the cheapest online price on their mobile. As this store would not hold products more than a little above eye level, the store wouldn’t need to be that tall (i.e. like a warehouse) unless you had multiple floors or you introduce a second floor store/business of some description. The draw for companies would be that Rangers could guarantee that 50,000 people would be near the store every 2nd week. Alternatively Rangers could do this venture in a better location and also feature Rangers products within it.
  • Clean up a brown-field site within close proximity to Ibrox and open a Shipping-Container hotel, the idea is taken from the Chinese whom convert shipping containers in homes/work-digs. This is something being took up by the YMCA in London as a solution to affordable housing with a view to helping people out of crime and poverty. The standard of finish that can be achieved is very high and very practical. The cost of containers brought over from China is £20,000 per container however I fail to understand why this is so expensive, we could readily do this ourselves with local resources at reduced cost. The concept is that Rangers turn a nearby site into a Container-Hotel where Rangers fans can crash for say £75 for a week (taken as the price quoted by the YMCA). The site would be fenced off with a security-guard at the gate. As many people would perhaps only want to spend a night the rates could be very reasonable and in turn the scheme could prove very popular, the business could be supplemented by the sheer volume of people that might consider taking up full time residency with a view to Independence from their current situation while being able to afford it.
  • There are literally tens of Dozens of clubs worldwide that share their name or badge in some sense with Rangers, we also have several clubs with somewhat of an affinity with ourselves. Purely to increase brand exposure we should tie up a deal where each of these clubs sell our merchandise in exchange for the same at Rangers stores. The merchandise could be tailored to suit the regions and clubs that we will be in partnership with and while unlikely to see a serious profit, the exposure of the club would increase in pockets around the globe overnight.
  • Buy 1 talented Indian International and one talented Chinese international, at the very least make sure they will become internationals talent wise. On doing this with first team positions in mind for them we open a Rangers Store in their home town and in the capital of both countries, we tie up a tv deal to have our games shown in the places and we advertise that one of their boys is playing for the most successful domestic club in the world. We could have 2 from each country and while one plays for us here, the other plays friendly tour games with a “b” team against local sides with mobile club shops alongside to increase the visability and knowledge of our club.
  • Have a permanent Rangers legends team playing around the home towns of the players we feature, i.e. when we feature Laudrup we have our legends play in his hometown in Denmark for example. This would be a permanent things and in turn would require high profile players to feed the legends team. Mobile club shop would be needed obviously and once again this perhaps wouldn’t increase money, but it should at least work out somewhat self-sustaining while increasing our profile.
  • Have limited edition tie-ups with products sold in food and drink, the world cup does it, the olympics does it, why not us with brands like Barrs? Make limited edition bottles of Irn Bru in connection with Rangers and sell them ONLY in Rangers heartlands, the price could include 10-p per bottle to the club, if done over a number of brands this could in theory make the club alot of money while actually increasing sales of the brands themselves.
  • One for the future -Our youth players as part of their footballing apprenticeship with our club must learn, French, Russian, Spanish, German, Italian or Portuguese to increase their sale-ability on their rise through the club, their is not point in a producing academy if our players just won’t move abroad for any length of time due to the language barrier. We are terrible at this in this country and this is needed if we are to punt to any of these leagues OR if we wish to get top dollar for OUR stars.
  • Rangers could start a business approval scheme in a similar fashion to the Royal Family where by the club approves the use of a company or it’s products based on the quality of it’s service/product and on condition it features our name/logo around the business and/or they pay a levy for this fee,….could be worth alot of exposure and a healthy return if properly backed.
  • Rangers offer to sponsor the teams in which the returns are financially viable, i.e. we could sponsor a well supported lower league English team while putting stores at their club and around their city, thus their support will support us as their “Scottish/big-team” as they probably don’t like the idea of supporting bigger English sides as they are competition. If the side was struggling financially our sponsorship could win us new friends in England which is never a bad thing and the deal would at least mean Rangers have made a start on featuring in the English leagues?!
  • Rangers invite Indian & Chinese film makers to Ibrox, all expenses paid, give them the VIP treatment then we offer free use of our properties to shoot films at during the Summer on condition they make reference to our Club by it’s real name etc. If we had a Chinese or Indian Player he could feature in these films and the exposure of such a thing for us would be huge, we’re talking billions of people. We feature as a set, the good-guys, the club making it’s way to the top, the club overcoming adveristy, Slumdog Ranger?. Offer to host a Bollywood Premier in Ibrox. Get the biggest stars to be our best friends, the returns are self evident. Bollywood gets extra resources and friends in the West, we get extra exposure, fans, publicity, friends from their countries. If it became a popular thing we could perhaps sell the use of the facilities to the highest bidder. It might all sound far fetched but Bollywood has used corridors at Glasgow airport and places in Glasgow have been Philadelphia for Bradd Pitt and Halle Berry to stoat about.
  • Create stores selling things online where the profits go straight to Rangers, it doesn’t matter what it is – Tesco and Asda sell tyres for fuck sake.
  • Create a deal where companies like British Airways, i.e. travel companies have our club badge/name & colours on 1 or 2 of their vehicles – would prove undoubtedly get us exposure, perhaps we could open up their services in our stores or feature their brand in a big way around the ground.
  • Create a friendly where Canada, Australia or the US play Rangers to promote that these countries are descendants of ours and we wish to continue/strengthen the ties.

There’s a few idea’s off the top of my head. 

He was doing so well until he out that apostrophe in “ideas “.

And then the floodgates opened as the hordes jumped on the bandwagon… one fellow targeted ladies, presumably thinking there’s an untapped market of sophisticated females just looking for the kind of entertainment on offer at Ibrox..

I’ve a feeling a cheeky red wine may not be the favourite tipple of all Ibrox damsels

Image result for rangers supporter woman

Another wanted to improve merchandising and retail…

The thought that has gone into this is bewildering. I can only imagine the business manager at his bank poring over the plan to “charge a good few quid ” for a paintball exercise.

Presumably you have to bring your own guns, goggles and pellets. Perhaps the action could take place on the car park during the game, and then they can charge punters another good few quid to get their motors cleaned.

Image result for fucking idiots

It seems the capacity for talking bollocks is not confined to the support.. first, they quit the development league, and now they are playing in their own wee league..Pedro Caixinha explains how that particular brand of fantasy football works….

We looked at the last seven games of this season, starting with the last game against Aberdeen,’

‘We established with the boys that these seven games were going to be our domestic league, our internal league. We want to end up first in that.

‘In this moment, we are one point below Celtic — and six points ahead of Aberdeen in that table. We have two more matches and we keep going.

And here’s me that thought they couldn’t keep the laughter flowing forever…

Yesterdays picture..


BJF May 15, 2017 at 8:49 am · Edit · Reply

Riot as public resist being forced to buy Sevco season tickets. 

Today… again from the brush of Walter Malino  , who must have had terrible trouble sleeping




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Caption: “S.A.M. Missiles…..in….the….sky”

Brother Pedro must surely be back in the lead for KOTW?

” Newcastle United keen on Efe Ambrose ”

Rafa preparing for a swift return to the Championship, then.


Caption…Pilot tried to make it to ipox for more of the “really cheap diesel”


“There’s a few idea’s off the top of my head” 🙂 1,319 words of sheer genius. Now we know what Minty Moonbeam’s been doing while he’s waiting for James Doleman tweets

Is Minty driving the chopper?


Caption: A re-run of Helicopter Sunday 2005 minus EBT-fueling goes badly wrong.

Didn’t show the petrol station attendant the side letter….


OMG, the PEEPIL should be on Dragons Den, haven’t laughed so much in ages. Brilliant Diary.

True, Murray could do with a lift….

Dragon’s Den: Peter Jones ” So sir David let me get this straight, you come in here & ask for £100,000,000 of our money for a floating pitch and a casino, yet you sold assets worth 70 – 100 million for ( hysterical laughter from other Dragons ), one solitary pound coin….that you didn’t even receive?
Astonishing…I’M OUT “!



LOL, to true, best is he got away with it, the eejits still think he’s a hero. They should just open a knocking shop, they get pumped every week anyway, on and off the park.


Superb !!!!!!

Steve Brown

Caption: Rangers* directors surprised by Dave King arrival in Glasgow for board meeting. Keith Jackson reports* in DR that King “jetted in under the radar, made a smooth entrance and was given a warm welcolm by his fellow directors”


Helicopter Sunday if I had my pilots licence back then.: )

Caption: If Carlsberg did South Armagh Helicopter patrols…


Monti…I have a story about that sort of thing 🙂

Explosive is it? 🙂


well, kinda…:)

You made all of this up! That is not really the suggestions for maximising revenue coming out of the dummies at Ibrox. Making inroads in Bollywood is priceless. I suppose having a rabid racist support won’t upset the hundreds of Indian filmmakers who will want to film boardroom scenes at the top of the marble staircase of dignity. These people are deranged. Although I laughed it is not funny. Some of these zoomers are walking around in public. I doubt if any of them are actually employed. Is it any wonder they were so easily duped by Charlie Green and… Read more »



On the continuing theme of wild ideas for the sevco monkey loons, we present Kamikaze Hun Helicopter rides.
Be there when you take out a few tims. Revel in the knowledge that you can become a martyr whilst giving our great club the financial backing it needs.

Phone 0141 666 1690

*Terms and conditions apply*

We will require the deeds to your house and your pension and a one off payment of £1690.

‘Lets go for 55’


“Pilot”: I’m gonna get you David Murray, my grandson supports Celtic!
Running Man: Are you an idiot? I’m running…..


see them zombies wae the money makin ideas …………..doncha just luvvum he he


They seem to think that 30 quid will cure their financial woes…



weered they should charge for tickets to get into the ideas meetings ime sure a lotta tims would book a table he he


or a knock a lady up on ladies night therby producing mer wee zombies to buy the tat he he simples


Remember when John Greig was sent out to stop the hotel to develop Minty Park and ride. Remember when Minty spent £40 mill. of Joe Lewis’s money ENIC. Remember when the MSM gobbled up succulent lamb. Remember when the the BBC hushed up the truth. Remember Minty getting his Knighthood for services to business. Remember when Hugh Adam said there is a car crash coming to Ibrokes. Remember the cheating SFA and there sad excuses for referees. Never forget how the Tic. and the rest of the teams are being fucked over by the lying cheating scum peepol. Revenge is… Read more »


Hear Hear.


oh mikey mikey mikey mikey mikey mike the fermer ………ps have you started takn yer tablets again i see your alter egos have pissed off

Charlie,Mikes got them all in the middle of a Board meeting.Its one man one Vote.Mikes snookered.lol


Am back oan them Charlie, two doses for each nomdeplume.

His name is Angello,
he’s the bell end you know, Angello.
The Sistine Chapel is finite am now painting Ralph’s hoose. 😉


heh heh remember no tae drive yer shit spreader when yer oan yer meds we dont wantit all over the town hall

You using your nose to do the ceiling?

You taking the piss out of Mike? 😉

Exactly Precisely and more to the point,Mike!!!Well Said m8.They should be left with what they deserve(NOTHING)


Exactly Tioc There has to be a price to pay for this corruption Craigy is not the real villain here, we know where the fault lyes who is responsible.

“Point” Hahahahaha


Is there a picket to attend 🙂


Henry Ireton: We can lay out a grid on the pitch at Ibrox at half time, everyone can buy a square and then we can drop something from a helicopter; whichever square it lands in that person wins 20% of the money raised through the sale of the squares.

3 months later…….

I suggested drop something from the helicopter not crash the bloody thing!

Paul McGovern

Surefire winner to attract wives and girlfriends would be a ‘make up’ stall selling bruise concealer for those inevitable defeats.


Brilliant… 🙂


campaign slogan…




” Wives, girlfriends “?
You mean sister and mothers?


While celebrating the treble and going undefeated wee James causes panic by flopping his CHOPPER out ..allegedly


caption i think that would be a helicopter crashing into the piazza del repubblicas fountain of the naiads in rome ……. a bet yoos uneducated lot wouldnae have thought a knew that he he




Hey Ralph

I have never won anything before!
Like Monti’s for today about South Armagh, people there were helicoptered out a few years back.
Tempted to retire when I’m ahead but can’t resist for yodsy’scsption:” Pedro’s escape plan goes awry.”


Caption, Minty dives in to steal the change from the Trevi fountain.

Three coins in the fountain, which wan will the fountain bless, make it mine, make it mine, make it mineeeeeeeeee.


Excellent …


Oops ; yodsy’scption is the Gaelic for today’s caption, note to self” I think I got away with that!”



Fair play to Brown he has kept himself useful and relevant by adapting his game.

Caption!!The Sevconians use painting as a way of mustering up some credible ideas.I know i know,Face Painting,Oh wait we already Bumped one o them tae.Rite next idea for a Swindle.

10p on a bottle of Irn Bru. If the sell 20 million bottles of Barney Bru in Cumnock they could buy another Joey Garner. The mind boggles. Lets hope this one doesn’t get off the ground. Maybe the new Ibrox club could appeal to their Ayrshire supporters to drink more Irn Bru. This might be counter -productive as the obesity and diabetes might wipe their entire fan base out within 10 years.


could ye not strengthen it to quicken the process to 18 months

Weered then who will we skelp at the Crumbledome


No Skelpin necessary then…

Just pleasant memories of their downfall while your’e shappin in a MEGA ALDI store with a huge carpark


And that is bad because????????????


Do you point that row of question marks in my direction??

Steven R

I don’t see their idea of having Indian players, or Bollywood movies… Have they never watch a Bollywood movie, FFS?!! Everytime they get the ball, they’d stop and dance on the halfway line, and a string of Indian beauties (or, more likely, Big Morag and her pals fae the ludge) come running onto the pitch, singing the Billy Boys in a sort of pained wailing. Broony would be stated down, with an evil stare and an eyebrow twitch and, for good measure, having “ahhh, haa!!” Shouted in his face! If you haven’t seen a Bollywood movie, find one on YouTube.… Read more »

We,d end up with a rendition of,The Turbin my Father Wore thrown in for good measure.


Minty tried to raise £57.2 million pounds with a share issue, but it flopped, debt at that time was £80 million pounds, so he transferred the debt to MIM. The level of financial doping was on a massive scale, it was only when the London polis arrived at Ibrokes that the game was up and the EBT’s were discovered, many a company used them but they were in no circumstances to be used for salary remuneration, but he did. Remember Martin Bain’s request to be paid this way, but shred the evidence, this was discovered in an email, Minty himself… Read more »



Wisnae me

Caption: I told you not to use your mobile phone during the flight

Sky Sports News banging on about womens football, Man city ladies in particular? WHO GIVES A FUCK?
Ladies/women, put your energies into doing something where you are taken seriously…Masterchef or how clean is your house, for example.
Does my fucking heed in all this PC shite, will never allow my daughter to play football because i’d like her to be taken seriously, with what she chooses to do.
Be honest now guys, when womens football is on or being discussed on t.v., the first three words to come into your head are ” For fuck sake “?


Monti… I have a brilliant joke on your Ladies/Women topic…
“The Toothless Ferret …” I do hope ye haven’t heard it

It might take a while write it though…Maybe lunchtime…
busy busy busy Weered today


MONTI…HERE YE GO The Toothless Ferret In Belfast, Paddy walks into a pub, buys a pint and sits down beside a fella who has a small wooden box sitting on the other side of him. After a while Paddy asks “What’s in the box and what’s the strange noise comin from it. The guy replies “It’s a toothless ferret, it’s a very special animal” Paddy asks “What’s so special about a ferret with no teeth” The guy replies “Paddy, this will give ye the best blow job you ever had…ever” “Fuck off” Paddy says. Guy replies “YEP, I’m waiting on… Read more »

LoL Magic Weered.



When I was told it, years ago, the tears streamed down my face with laughter…THE FUCKING PUNCHLINE WAS SO UNEXPECTED


weered wer dae ye get yon ferrets ……..askin for a friend he he


Charlie… I’ve had several enquiries already. I can readily source organic ferrets from Yorkshire. They take about a 3 months to train but training can be very dangerous and, as you can imagine, exhausting.
The difficulty arises when I’ve got to pull the wee hooers teeth


weered i was jeest enquirin for ma auld pal pentionerbhoy but he wants wan wae teeth on account ae him being intae yon masochism gemme


Charlie.. Sorry but there’s no price break for toothed ferrets or for pensioners… He’ll be paying for the pleasure only. I must be firm on this… So will he… 🙂

Monti I Have to disagree m8, my daughter played for the school team,up till she was forced to quit when she went to high school.
Christmas was always Celtic strip, football boots ,shin guards,tracksuit ball.
She loved it and was one of the best players in the team.
The joy football gave her was brilliant to watch. So whatever makes my kids happy then that’s what I let them do.

Well said……..but i mean what i said, just my opinion m8!

JimmyBee Ditto M8.My daughters the exact same.Great wee player when she gets into it.Same at Xmas etc too.If thats what keeps a smile on my kids face,Im not going to gripe about it.HH


I’ve actually got tears running down my face laughing at the list of money-spinning Sevco ideas!

Caption: Tragedy as Scot McDonald is touched during a flying lesson

Sevco Endlessly Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel with Talent and skies the limit when it comes to ideas.And every single idea is a Side Splitter.FFS And wevare Associated with this shower of Muppets.The Laughs Are EndleSssssss.A barrel of laughs.But on a serious note,They are the best players in Scotland.Im sure Dave King writes all this shit doon and tells Pedro Mourinho,Here,s yer daily statement for the day.

Bobby Petta's Statue

I’m still laughing at that ideas list
Best thing I’ve read in ages. Clearly Germaine Greer was consulted for the ideas for the ladies.

Slumdog Ranger. Indeed.


I like the idea of “Scumdog Rangers” 🙂

It must be the Govan Air.
Imagine being in the middle
Of the Blue Doo Crews
Have an idea Meetings
Whilst attempting to maintain a straight face
And without wetting yerself laughing
And Dave King giving it the
Cold Dumb Sevco Stare
As your in fits of laughter
They should have a Comedy Club
They Never Ever Fail
To keep all the Sane folk
Absolutely amused…..
Ibrokes will shortly be Crumbling
And theyre aw fcking Givin it
Bouncy bouncy on Bouncy Castles
And having the 35 stone
100 metres sprints
Show them a Taxman
That,ll have em shifting some Lard Arses


tioc ffs mate the thought ae them 30 stone lard arses had me chokin oan ma mince n totties he he

Charlie,I just thought of this Obese Slim kinda Sevco supporter i seen the other week when i was in the toon.He was across fae me n my nephew at st enochs centre.My nephew says to me.FFS look at the nick of that cnt.lolol.One of those ones thats etched in your memory for decades.Wake up during the nite Screaming,WTF!!!LOL


For years Celtic have ploughed a dead straight furrow,
while “Rangers” just seemed to borrow and borrow,
Now they are hiding doon there burrow.
Shedding tears, drowning in sorrow.

Teams may come and teams may go,
the only certainty is the Celtic show,
our club just seems to grow and grow,
and now we are heading to ten in a row.

Im yet to see the Tim that isnt cheesing.Cannae remember the last time i seen a smiling Hun.They had there Golden Era,And didnt they let us know it.Ten In A Row has to happen,Its Fate.Its Our Just Rewards Mike.



Weered ive been reading up on that chap ye mentioned,Helloc.Interesting Guy.Thanks m8



There is Only One Show In Glasgow,Its The Celtic Show.HH GGAW!!!GIRUTDOSB


None of the ideas by the Bears is a brilliant as the Sunday Mail front page broadcasting Sir Minty’s futuristic vision of Ibrokes, floating pitches etc;
Their ranting is well sourced Ralph, we can look forward to more genius ideas, like shortening the season to seven games, also poor arithmetic by Pedro, Celtic scudded them at Ibrokes.
Loved the ladees but, living in Ayrahire, they do like a bucket of Buckie or two as part of their fitness regime.
Statue rushes to save the dreams of the deluded blues

Where’s Ayrahire?


Monti…he knows where it is…ye have to guess…besides it is bad form to correct ones spellings or grammar

Stick your form up your arse!


Nah I’ll not bother me arse

Why don’t the Huns raise funds by making a pornathon?
Paul Baxendale-Walker could sort that out, surely?
Plenty of cocks and fannies at ibrox!

Why on earth would anyone want a floating pitch?
I mean think about that….why?

Remember the blue grass pish? They cunts are seriously disturbed!

Stupid, stupid Huns.


Monti…they are sorely afflicted from withdrawal symptoms…
Withdrawn from the human race…no other fuckers think like that …DO THEY ?

Monti,Guaranfckingteed.If you put a Hun on a couch tae have a blether with a shrink.The shrinks gonnae need a Shrink poor fcker will be traumatised scraping thru all that delusion.By the time he gets thru a session.The shrink wouldnt know his arse fae his elbow


Phil’s book stated that Minty was a chip of the old block.

His faither, David Ian Murray was a coal merchant in Ayr (Murray Forrest), he was declared bankrupt and then sentenced to 18 months for fraudulent conversation, (as Phil says, a rather genteel term for tax evasion).
He was a renowned boor and arrogant, so the apple disny fall far from the tree, does it?


Absolutely correct Mike, but his son Sir Minty Shufflebottom took it to a whole new level.The short-arsed bastard should be locked up and the key thrown away.


Absolutely. Utterly disgusting that he was allowed to cherry pick the best bits out of the business’s that he destroyed.
His faither hid a lot of his assets in horse studs etc. to shield them from the tax man. A solid (squalid) background of arrogance and fraud.

Caption: Take it Scott Sinclair missed the team bus again.

The Cha

Caption: Helicopter pilot commits suicide after being told his services are no longer required, as the clapped out bus behind is perfectly capable of getting THE League Trophy to Parkhead for the foreseeable future.

Slumdog Billionaire; he’ll guard old Delhi’s walls.


Caption: There’s a buzz about the place, Caixinha claims.

Twa Wee HunZz
Heading tae ra Game
efter wit they witnessed
They’ll never be ra same
There shouts of No Surrender
That jurassic Battlecry
We hate awra kafflics
They wish,d we wid die
That wee Tales an old Yin
A hundred fold or more
Wan thing is a cert
They wont Forget The Score
Hang yer heads in shame Turds
Hang yer heads in Shame
When ye play Against the Tic
You’ll Never Be The Same


Tioc67, this is so good my friend. I assume that you only started this rhyming a few weeks ago…

Weered just lately ,Its that Mike ive been reading his wee crackers and thats got me goin.But its all harmless fun.Till ive a team of Sevco,s at my door.lolol


Tioc67… A Bunch of sevcoven members…



no bad but no as good as mikes ………….cheque to the usual place mike

Charlie,im only 8,im still learning.Mikes oan that ferm getting all sorts of tips fae awra animals n stuff.LoL


bah bah humbug. 😉

Slowly but surely i,ll get there Mike.Aw fur Oor Coz…Tim Days Happy Days.


Tioc67… It’s important for the coz but it must be important for you to get a real sense of achievement and enjoyment. The fact that other folk get a buzz and smile and positively comment on your efforts shows that you are succeeding. Keep it up comrade


Mike seems you’re showing signs of bohemian burnout…


The current witness in the CW trial is from Ticketus. He explains the Ticketus product as buy a product for 90p and sell for 100p. Pretty standard business model! However, we are talking about season tickets here. Rangers had used Ticketus before to provide working capital(on dear!) i wonder how many Rangers season ticket holders released they were paying over the odds because of poor financial management by their club.

What a club…….take from small businesses, take from the taxman, and take from the supporters!


Rebus67.There business model is and no doubt always has been,fck every person thats stoopid enough to get into a business transaction with them.Its a shame honest hardworking folk have been well burnt with there carry ons.

Frank McGaaaarvey

Those money-making schemes are an utter hoot. Even the funniest Celtic sites couldn’t make up that level of hilarious lunacy. They sound more like the sort of things that would be done to raise funds to repair the roof on the local orange hall rather than getting a footballing giant back(!) to where they belong at a top European level. The most important hun fundraising (hundrasing!) idea was missed out though. It goes thus:- Spread legs or cheeks wide as possible. Lie on back or all fours as applicable and wait impatiently for a sweet sugar daddy with sacks of… Read more »


‘It’s a shame honest hardworking people’ The only people you can con are greedy bastards, honest people cannot be conned. All their support wanted was superiority over the upstarts, Celtic Football Club. For years they were head of the midden, then Stein arrived and knocked their superior noses out of joint. Sinc the seizures they have done everything, as their colleagues in the establishment have done, cheated the honest folk. They are still so thick, that they blame Craig Whyte and ignore Sir minty and the previous board. Now they have Pedro the donkey peddling more garbage. As Monti says,… Read more »

Honest people cant be conned???Ritey O

Cartvale88 was it just Greedy bstards that were conned.Every supporter from every club was Conned.Even Honest hardworking ones.Ye mean the Greedy hun element,No doubt

Madden to referee the cup final


Wonder if he is playing in midfield or upfront for Aberdeen.This Guy is An Utter Disgrace.The Treble has to be Cheated off us.Only way Aberdeen will get as much as a sniff.If we play and are on our Game.Madden isnt even worth a Mention




Look on the bright side m8 he probably hates the Dons tae.

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/