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Celtic Diary Friday March 31: Anyone Will Do.

The list of experts hauled in by the Scottish sports Media grows almost hourly.

James Corden, a fat bloke who does adverts on the telly wants Stuart arnstrong to join West Ham. Fair enough, as long as he stays away from what he thinks is comedy, he can say what he wants.

Quite how it merits a mention in the papers is another question, however.

Having run out of fresh faces to tout Celtic players, the media leapt on this tweet..

James Corden Retweeted Focus on Celtic

I would love to sign this player!!! 

Meaning Stuart Armstrong..

Corden, who used to be in alleged comedy Gavin and Stacey, a programme so bad even the pub in Runcorn, where it was filmed, has closed down in embarassment, has sen his career nosedive, and it seems he wants to take Armstrong down with him by trying to persuade him to join West Ham.

Another z list celebrity, Richard Keys, who was sacked by Sky TV , is the cheerleader for a new Daily Record campaign.

Couldn’t agree more with the anti Sky sentiment, its not just the contempot they hold the Scottish game in, but the money they spend in England allows english clubs to plunder, and thus weaken, our own game.

Etims did a wee campaign of similar aim ourselves, after we noticed that indirectly, every time a Celtic palyer went south, it was our own money they were using to buy him.

So the Record deserves praise for highlighting the issue, but Richard Keys ?

Keys left Sky in disgrace after making sexist remarks, and would later run off with one of his daughters pals whilst his wife was having treatment for cancer.

At the very least one would say his views Sky would have a little conflict of interest, whereas most of us would just agree that he’s a piece of what doggies leave in the street.

Anxious to play to his new audience, Keys said of the relationship between Sky and Scottish football;

“You can trace it all back to 2002 and the deal Vic Wakeling didn’t do with Roger Mitchell who was in charge of the SPL – but who wasn’t very good at it. 

“Vic put something like £60m on the table and the response was, ‘Come back to me when you’re serious’. Vic withdrew the offer and overnight he made it clear we were to stop talking about Scottish football on Sky Sports News which was a disgrace in itself.

“The instruction was, ‘Scottish football doesn’t exist. Shut it down. We don’t talk about it, we’re not interested in it until they come back to the table on our terms’.

“It really was a disgrace and in my view Scottish football has never recovered. Scottish football has made some extraordinary decisions domestically which I didn’t understand but which have had a very detrimental effect on the game. And you know what I’m referring to.

“All these years on still no one can tell me what Rangers were guilty of when they were sent down to the bottom tier.

“The expectation was they would be found guilty but my understanding is they were never convicted of any wrong- doing. But I guess that’s another matter entirely.”

Keys doesn’t understand what wrongdoing is, does he ? either at home or in his professional life.

Keys then went to work for Talkshite radio, and showed us how suited he was for that station with this;

When we went to Talksport I was very much aware that the station was broadcast nationally. But that we only ever talked about English football. I said when I went there I wanted our show to have an audience of over one million. I was told we would never do it.

“So after a week or so I told them I wanted a full set of newspapers delivered every morning, including in particular the Daily Record because I wanted to know what was happening in Scotland. 

“The only reason I knew what was happening at Rangers in 2011 was because I started reading the Daily Record. And that’s when we started covering it properly. 

“Effectively we broke the story in England because no one else down here had been paying attention to what the Record had been writing.

Not many in Scotland pay that much attention either…

“A club the size of Rangers going bust? This was a huge story – it was cataclysmic – but no one in England cared about or even knew about it until TalkSPORT picked it up.

Er, didn’t he say something about Rangers being sent to the bottom tier-now he’s claiming credit for telling the whole world they went bust.

The man is an imbecile, and clearly hoping for a column in the Record and another shot at being on Talkshite.

Usually we announce this award at the bottom of the page, but for comments such as these, and the hypocrisy within, richard Keys has come from nowhere-and the sooner he returns there- to win this weeks Etims

Knob of the Week 

Image result for richard keys

 

Back at the ranch, and Brendan Rodgers says Scott Brown can play for Scotland if he wants to, showing a huge amount of trust in,  and respect for, his captain.

 I think there is a genuine love for playing for Scotland for him,” “He obviously retired but his loyalty to Gordon and what Gordon has done for him over the years in bringing him here and the relationship that he has, it is totally natural when he seen Gordon not having a good time earlier on in the campaign why he wanted to support him.

“ It also typifies the kind of guy he is. He has real old school values and he wanted to help someone that he really respects. So if he wants to play in the game it is absolutely fine, we will find a solution for that.

“He is a really important player for the spirit within the squad. Obviously I have to look at Celtic but we will find a solution that will do both, I am sure.”

Brown is mature enough to decide if he’s up to it.

And that is pretty much that.

There is a possibility that the league could be won tonight, Aberdeen face Dundee, and a defeat would mean that Sundays game would be more or less all about singing and dancing, whereas should Aberdeen win, we’ll have to wait until full time.

I think we’ll all have half an eye on tonights game..

You should maybe keep an eye out for anyone in East Kilbride if you are selling a golf club..

 

A couple of appeals now, one quite serious..

If anyone can help out with the collection on the day please get in touch. Need people from about 12pm to help unload bags from supporters 

Whilst its shocking that foodbanks even exist in the twenty first century, the reality is that they need our help.

Do what you can.

It will be appreciated.

Another appeal concerns someone who has entirely different needs..

Instead of a caption competition, lets have some suggestions of suitable songs for the man from the Blue voice, whose real name is actually Les Miserable.

 

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6 years ago

There are loads of appropriate songs they could adopt, such as:

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY – ABBA
WALLS COME TUMBLING DOWN – THE JAM
THE MONSTER MASH – BOBBY ‘BORIS’ PICKETT
WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER – QUEEN
NEW LIFE – DEPECHE MODE
TAXMAN – THE BEATLES
UP ON THE ROOF – ROBSON & JEROME

..or, how’s this one to get the goat bothered into a frenzy?..

KING IN A CATHOLIC STYLE – CHINA CRISIS

6 years ago
Reply to  Steven R

Botherers…

GaryBhoy
6 years ago
Reply to  Steven R

Cutting Crew – I just died in your arms tonight

Gringo
6 years ago
Reply to  Steven R

*And The Style Council did Walls Come Tumbling Down

Rob O'Keeffe
6 years ago

I’ ll start it off.Another Hun bites the dust or This Ole House.Welcome to the Crumbledome….jump in guys,fill yer boots,the list is inexhaustible…

Need a draw tonight,don’t want Sevco anywhere near a “staunch” second place.GFS.

Greenmaestro
6 years ago

A song that bridges the ages and conjures up thoughts of both the old and new Ibrox clubs; I give you “Meet Me At The Cemetery Gates”

D'Fhinnein Mick
6 years ago

Has anyone ever recorded a song called

“Fuck you,yer deid!”

Naw?

How about this one then-suits you,sir.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WQGZ1niFGNY

Gringo
6 years ago

Hehe, In the thread next to this there’s a video called ‘Everything You Know Is A Lie’ tae.

Looks like that guy has a special insight into their non-dominant world view.

Jkg
6 years ago

Hold on tight to your dream! ELO.

Oztim67
6 years ago

‘Take The Money and Run’ Steve Miller Band.
‘We are Fat Ugly Inbred Cunts’ The Hunettes.

6 years ago

When the Supreme Court give their ruling, howsabout this https://youtu.be/5bLX06yR3wY for when their 54 titles are amended, along with other trophies they won through financial doping?

portpower
6 years ago

Then pigeon hole once as an a goal.
Once again,once again.

Celtic

https://youtu.be/yeVtUMRAPAY

portpower
6 years ago
Reply to  portpower

Between the pair of them, Lenny & Duffy they can afford a Porsche.
The pair of pricks are barred from the Dublin End.

The pair`d falled over before they danced

henkesdreadlocks
6 years ago

Cher’s ‘Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves’ would I believe, be very apt for the lowlife shite.

6 years ago

I’m surprised at myself for not thinking of this earlier!!..

https://youtu.be/_fztHnEmIlk

charlie
6 years ago

wan for the huns for after the semi

charlie
6 years ago
Reply to  charlie
charlie
6 years ago
Reply to  charlie

he he

6 years ago
Reply to  charlie

That’s a scary thought!!… a Hun with a semi!!

charlie
6 years ago
Reply to  Steven R

aye scary when a huns goat a semi ha ha see wit a done there

Honest Hoops
6 years ago

The knuckle draggers should sing the Shaking Stevens Classic….’ Behind the Green Door’

Jkg
6 years ago

When I’m dead and gone. McGuinness Flint. HH

Monti
6 years ago

‘ Creeping Death ‘ – METALLICA

Monti
6 years ago

‘The four horsemen’- METALLICA

6 years ago

ALL FALL DOWN – 5STAR
ALREADY GONE – THE EAGLES
GUILTY – BARBRA STREISAND
TRAGEDY – THE BEE GEES
NO MORE HEROES – THE STRANGLERS

schoosh71
6 years ago

“He IS Heavy, he’s a HUN”. HH

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  schoosh71

Schoosh,
PMSL LOL

6 years ago

The Hank Williams classic, YOUR CHEATIN’ HEART.

portpower
6 years ago

https://youtu.be/WOc7HyRZisc

Cat pissed on my front screen door,bassa.

6IAR.

portpower
6 years ago
Reply to  portpower

Flimsey…

Monti
6 years ago
Reply to  portpower

Quality!

Gringo
6 years ago

Zombie – The Cranberries
I Know It’s Over – The Smiths
Don’t Fear The Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult
Many Men Wish Death – 50 Cent
Ghost Rangers In The Sky – Johnny Cash-Strapped
Brendan’s Death Song – Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Hello (Hello) Goodbye – The Beatles

Gringo
6 years ago
Reply to  Gringo

*Track #3, Blue Shyster Cult

6 years ago

I LOVE TO HATE YOU – ERASURE…

appropriate on soooo many levels!

portpower
6 years ago

Any hoo sevconians…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXYtz7eXRzY

sevco week Wednesday FC.

portpower
6 years ago
Reply to  portpower
Jkg
6 years ago

The Lords Prayer!! Sister Janet Mead 1974 HH

portpower
6 years ago

sevco error loading players Sunday 23rd April 2017 FC.

portpower
6 years ago
Gringo
6 years ago

The Jesus & Mary Chain (guffaw guffaw) have a full album for them,

The Power of Negative Thinking:

1: Honey’s Dead
2: Stoned & Dethroned
3: Darklands
4: Damage & Joy
5: Psychocandy
6: Always Sad
7: Heaven & Hell

portpower
6 years ago
Reply to  Gringo

8.Inhabited numb-nuts

portpower
6 years ago
Reply to  Gringo

Are we not to pray for those in purgatory?

The panel,away youse to buggery.’Hope.’

jrw
6 years ago

Song title:

‘The Song Remains the Same’ – Led Zeppelin

portpower
6 years ago
Reply to  jrw
Rosco
6 years ago
Rosco
6 years ago
Doc
6 years ago

Fools Gold – Stone Roses
Roof With A Hole – Meat Puppets
Loser – Beck
No Drinking After You’re Dead – Paul Weller
Don’t Believe A Word – Thin Lizzy
Racist Friend – Specials
Do Nothing – Specials
Been Down So Long – Doors
Won’t Get Fooled Again – Who

Rosco
6 years ago

Clash – I fought the law
Communards- don’t leave me this way
Del amitri – kiss this thing goodbye
Green day – basket case
Just jack- the day I died
Kygo – nothing left
Nickleback – burn it to the ground (ibrox)
Ac/dc – highway to hell
Stereo mc’s – the end
Stone roses – I am the resurrection
Tom petty – free falling
Black legend – you see the trouble with me
Barrett strong- money (that’s what I want)

portpower
6 years ago

And i`ll give him a shot at Paradise.

We`d all.

6IAR…

Monti
6 years ago

Another hun bites the dust, by (fuck the) Queen.

Monti
6 years ago

Cemetery gates – Pantera
Fade to Black – Metallica
Inflikted – Cavalera conspiracy
Reign in Blood – Deicide
Born Dead – Bodycount
Ice cream van chime- by any fucking ice cream van

Monti
6 years ago

You’re once, twice, three times a Zombie – Lionel Ritchie 🙂

Konrad
6 years ago

Don’t Dream it’s Over – Crowded (Big) House
Me Heart is Livin in the Sixties Still (the 1860’s) – The Saw Doctors
The Moment You Left Me – Pish Pish Pish
Cap in Hand – The Proclaimers

Gringo
6 years ago

Hunny Don’t – Carl Perkins

Goodbye Mr Blue Shite – ELO

We Are The Sham Huns – (Fuck The) Queen

The Model (Of How Not To Run A Fitba Club) – The ‘Craft’ Works

Promised Land – Cheque Bouncy

Funny Hunny Money – AB,BAwbag

Sergeant Pedro’s Lonely Hearts Club Banned – The Beatles

Cheat Little Mystery – Sweat Sweat Sweat

(Nae) R.E.S.P.E.C.T – A Right Old Tanking

Uralius
6 years ago

Brox “I owe you nothing.”

Rudebhoy
6 years ago

Neil Young – Harvest Moonbeams
Dire Straits – Brother Pedro in Arms
Frank Zappa – Brown Shoes
The Smiths – Still ill
The Beatles – Help

Mike Bhoyle
6 years ago

In the article you said..
“So the Record deserves praise for highlighting the issue”…
Sorry…but…The Rectum deserves Fuck All..except closure.
Its a shit rag of a paper that hates us…and we fucking feel the same about it.
Apart from that….good article…:0)
As for Sevco song…
Lionel Ritchie…Goodbye.
The Von Trapps…So Long, Farewell, Auwierdersen, Goodbye.

portpower
6 years ago

Blair truncheon?
Imagine if one of his like told all in a court of law that they were at it since the since. Sweet Mother of Ghod.

What are we to do with them?

Cortes
6 years ago

Bobby Goldsboro “Hunnies (We Don’t Miss You)”
Fela Kuti “Zombie ”
Burl Ives “Ugly Bug Ball”
The Alexander Brothers “Nobody’s Child”

Gringo
6 years ago

Dark Side of The Moon(beams) – Pink Floyd

Take The Pie, Goat – Runrig(ged Game)

To Know Hun Is To Hate Hun -The Pony (& Crap) Tales

Rangers In The Shite – Frank Spinatra

portpower
6 years ago

BondiBrian, did you go and see the Port Power thump Sydeney before the rain sprinkled down?

Patrick Street
6 years ago

Buddy Can You Spare A Dime?

portpower
6 years ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RimAEVGWTF4

sevco exchange traynor wheels FC.

SteveNaive
6 years ago

Superb lads, was eating soup reading the songs and it came down my nose with laughing.Absolutely superb.

Uralius
6 years ago

Godsmack – “Bleeding me”
Steel Panther – Community Property
Sugababes – Hole in the head
Eagles – lying eyes
Megadeath – wake up dead
Ozzy – Road to nowhere
Metallica – Welcome home Sanitarium
38 Special – Second Chance

6 years ago

Get It Right Up Them.STIFF LITTLE FINGER!!!

6 years ago

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