Actually, they’ve not so much stepped over the line, as hurtled over it .

This time the club, the support and even Celtic minded newsagents and paper boys have no excuse for buying it. Its time to give them a kick in the teeth and help them to join their favourite club in the sky.

Whilst the paper has been a constant and reliable source of much amusement, there are now calls for the club to have no further dealings with it, the supporters to stop buying it, and the distributors to take the whole lot out the back of the shop and burn it.

The reason ?

Well, it started with this fairly routine “back page splash ” which was mentioned in yesterdays diary…

 In itself, thats just the usual guff we’ve come to expect from the rag, and can be dismissed simply as another attempt to keep people talking about the game.

Whilst the subject of the story is known to be a little biased toward whichever entity is playing out of Ibrox at any given time, that’s not a problem. If these idiots are spouting off in the paper, at least we know where they are and what they’re thinking. Its all fairly harmless.

However, the problem with the piece is the author.

His name is Alan Clark, not to be confused with the tosspot Tory MP, s this one is out to make a name for himself with his own brand of tosspottery ( Is that a word ?-Ed   No, but it should be -Ralph )

Clark first came to the attention of the Diary back in august last year with his bitter-that word keeps coming up a lot )  article on Scott Allan, the midfielder who was touted to join “rangers ” but decided to further his career instead. and joined Celtic. Although it hasn’t worked out for him yet, the tone of the article suggests the author is rather pleased about that.

Scott allan piece

Most of Clark’s other contributions are of the “All you Need To know about ” sort, which when published in the Record, should really be titled “What you Already Know Padded Out By Some Things We Made Up ” (Like The Diary -Ed )

Well, as a sort of tribute to the man who pushed many Celtic supporters too far, heres all you need to know about Alan Clark,

1; He’s on twitter, and this is the sort of crap he comes out with..

Actually, we’ll stop there.

That is all we need to know about Alan Clark.

What we have here is a national newspaper employing someone  who by his own admission thinks that hanging around with tims either turns you into a “paedo ” or infects your mind with “paedo ” thoughts. 

He makes the connection based entirely on his own prejudices, prejudices that should automatically debar him from any kind of public platform to air his views. 

For any national newspaper to allow him that platform is negligent at best, and a considered attack on all things Celtic at worst. His connection between the followers and the club on social media is unacceptable behaviour, and the club must now take action. 

No ore advertising, no more interviews, and a recommendation that supporters no longer buy the paper. 

Whether or not the club do this , the support must consider whether or not they should spend their money on a publication that employs a man who considers “Tims ” to be “paedos ” 

Which shouldn’t take long. 

Email the Record editor and let him know why you are no longer a customer. 

Email the chief Executive at Trnity Group, the parent company and tell them as well.

Don’t buy it, and tell everyone else not to buy it as well.  

Our days of letting this kind of slur pass us by are over, and it’s time to show them.  

Now on to the football, and whatever Kristoffer Ajer has done during his spell at Celtic, it must have been serious. He’s being sent out to Kilmarnock on loan, and you have to fee for the boy. Short of beating up old ladies and boiling puppy dogs, I can’t think of any reason to make anyone go to Kilmarnock.

Unless, no, it can’t be..

Kilmarnock were the club who missed out on European football altogether when the original Rangers were granted a licence they weren’t eligible for back when they were still Rangers, and maybe this is part of a package to get the Ayrshire club on board ready for the final assault on the SFA.

Then again, maybe its not. Celtic haven’t exactly been banging on the door at the SFA asking for answers, although there are signs that as soon as the Supreme court rules on the big tax case, they’ll be straight in there.

Unless they can find another excuse, that is…

I’m in Glasgow tomorrow, and might see who I can see while I’m up there.

Manager Brendan Rodgers has responded to claims, mostly by ex players Stilian Petrov anf Charlie Nicholas, that Celtic should win not only the treble this year, but the boat race, Wimbledon and the x factor.

“If only it was that simple, eh?” “If only you knew every player would stay fit. It’s not as easy as that.

“I respect Charlie, he was a wonderful player and he has done great down south in his work.

“Stiliyan’s a good guy and a legend here at the club. I respect all that but when you’re in it, in first position, it’s never as easy as that.

“There are so many variables in football between winning and losing a game — who is fit, the pitches being great, everything being fine.

“Then you have a great chance but you have seen it away at Hamilton. A poor decision means you lose a man, so you have to find another way and, thankfully, we were able to win and win well.

“It is great for the guys looking in from the outside, but, being on the inside and working it, it is different to that.” 

Celtic face Albion Rovers in the cup on Sunday, and the players, who will be rusty, need to be on their toes.

It’s an artificial pitch, and we hear the SFA will be supplying the referee, which is never a good sign. The league is almost secured, and it would take a collapse of monumental proportions to finish second now, so the only chance the establishment have of stopping the treble is in the Cup.

We have played them beofre, and there’s a great story from the past that is worth sharing..

Earlier in the week, Marco van Basten came forward with his ideads to save the game, such as restricitng players to sixty games a season, banning offside and breaking the game down into four quarters , which were ludicrous enough, but they pale into insignificance when compared to the new SFA Scottish Cup rules.

Summarised, it means that any club wearing green and white hoops will start the game with eleven players, but must remove one every ten minutes to encourage competition,

No player earning more than £500,000 per annum is allowed to participate, and anyone with international experience is also prohibited from taking the field. Champions League experience also means you have to sit this competition out, as does having played in any premier division of football outside Scotland.

Celtic must play all their games away from home, regardless of how the draw is arranged, whilst “rangers “will be guaranteed home games, up to and including the final, with away supporters charged a nominal £500 per ticket.

The offside rule is scrapped for all teams who have a stadium capacity of 55,000 or greater, as is the inclusion of a goalkeeper, and the introduction of leg irons to even out athletic ability.

See, I could do a job at the SFA.

Ah wait, I’ve got the hand gesture wrong…

Thats better. As long as they don;t find out what school I went to, I reckon I’m in.

It’s Friday, and that means I’ve the difficult task of nominating one person who excelled this week in the ancient craft of knobbery, and for that , we must turn to the three day court case, Kinloch v coral, for this weeks winner.

Covered spectacularly on twitter by James doleman, the court in Edinburgh debated whether or not Rangers were relegated at the end of season 2012, as the club suffered entered its death throes..

You would think that Coral bookmakers would simply show the paperwork that proved Rangers went into liquidation, and were not relegated-clubs who finished second do not get relegated, but instead they dutifully avoided using that particular defence, and as such, the case descended into farce, and there was a lot to find amusing.

James Doleman was in court, and he wrote this piece for the Racing Post..

James Doleman on court case

Before we announce the Knob of the Week, there’s something from Rod MacKenzie, the lawyer who knows a chip pan when he sees one..

from the same court case which i think is relevant…

He came out with a cracker, which surely means the Lord Nimmo Smith enquiry, where the EBT’s were deemed not to have given Rangers a sporting advantage post 2001, is null and void.

LNS was only asked to consider 2001 onwards, yet MacKenzie stated, under oath yesterday ,

“Since 1989 Rangers operated two, we could call them, tax avoidance schemes,” 

which must warrant further investigation-I believe the SMSM are ignoring it even as we speak.

Back to Knob of the Week, and you would have liked to have placed this bet…

Craig Sandison, QC, acting for Coral,  moved in for the kill

“The bet was for Rangers to be relegated. 

“Relegation means being moved to a lower league. 

“Rangers were not moved to a lower league. 

They became ineligible to maintain their position in the SPL because the company who owned Rangers PLC ceased to own them and a new company owned them so they were not a member of the SPL.

“That is an entirely different situation to them finishing last in the SPL and being relegated under SPL rules.” 

Promise me that if ever I get into trouble, Craig Sandison will not be my defender.

He has failed miserably to present his clients case, and therefore has screwed over his client, who should demand an immediate refund and suitable compensation.

Craig Sandison, for a display of inadequacy not seen since my old mate was asked to keep an eye out for icebergs in 1912, you are this weeks

Etims Knob Of The Week 

  

Wonder what the RK stands for in his name, I suppose you could say this award was tailor made for him…

Yesterday we showed you a moment from rod Stewarts past he’d probably rather forget. He’s worn some daft clothes n his tome, but this one should make him feel particularly embarrassed..

to which we got this beautifully crafted reply…