Desimond has a few Limericks, feel free to add in your own in the Comments section below..
There once was a keeper called Matt
Who’s reviewing was slightly off hat
He suggested the Huns outplayed the Hoops
Is he blinded by the crooks?
To the opticians he needs to go, Stat!
There’s a manager so desperate named Mark
Who keeps on asking do we live in the dark
Cant we see his side shine so bright
“No Warbs, we just think they’re shite!”
Is what every laughing Timaloy shouts on back
A sneaky wee diver named MacKay
Went down like a right dying fly
The Hun referee said “Fuxake son!”
“Even I cant give you that one!”
And Barrie’s card, is now marked, sin die!
Craig Thomson was a poor referee
Disallowed a goal, and denied, a penalty
But his Hun loving antics were in vain
As Dembele scored against, the scum yet again
Will Craigy be punished and sent to Dundee ( one for Monti there!)
Celtic have the fine Green Brigade
Over the years, such fantastic Tifos were made
But on Sunday they could only laugh
At That Holby City Tifo, oh dear such a gaffe
And like a heartbeat we’ll now watch them fade
Craig Gordon always loves a clean sheet
Tries to keep the goals against, tres petite
They told him Hampden would be startling
He sighed “Dont kid yourself darling!”
“Against the The Rangers, I near fell asleep!”
Erik is our rampaging Dane
A class act who can sure play the game
He said “Clint Hill dont get in my way!”
Headed home but to his and our dismay
The Ref lives down a Masonic lane!
Super Jozo came in for Toure
And took care of Kenny Miller all day
The tanned Testicle took the huff
and was eventually subbed
then Waghorst was treated the same way
A helluva nice guy is our Tom
Plays with grace and style, such aplomb
But he needs to be ruthless
Against Gilks he was toothless
When we wanted him to just drop the bomb!
Scott Brown, the Timaloy Dynamo
Full of Red Bull and bravissimo
Made Halliday look like a wean
Made the Huns cry yet again
He’ll lift the Cup in November you know!
There on the sidelines, stood Leigh
Awaiting his chance, with such glee
And before very long
Laid the ball on like a song
For the backheel of big Dembelee!
There once was a striker named Moussa
When signed, no one made much of a fussa
But the boy just keeps on going
Banging goals in and scoring
The Huns fear each time he’s let loosa!
Brendan was asked for a post match review
He said “We deserved it, I’m tickety boo”
The boys played so fine
Now Im off for a South African wine
And maybe a champagne or two!
Chris Sutton is an analyst sans tact
Who refuses to hold opinion back
When he heard Warbs claim it was close
He said “Is Mark having a joke!”
“Its a chasm!, Idiot!..not a gap!”
When you have bills to pay and no cash,
All you can do is sing the sash,
When your trying not to worry or fret,
Joey’s in the bookies having a bet,
When you spend your cash on a semi display,
Do you not have bills to pay?
When the celts win 1 nil you stand and cry,
But remember you let your club die. ⚰️⚰️⚰️
There once was an old Hun called Hill
who took to the ground in a spill
because Eric our Dane
used more of his brain
to make the scoreline stand at 1 nil(not!)
Kenny Miller ran round like an ass
neither scoring nor making a pass
He snarled and spat
like a castrated cat
but finally just ran out of gas.
There is a fine Bhoy named Monti
who is fine and incredibly jaunty
But his Xbox was destroyed
by a wrist he employed
doing what might embarrass his aunty! (LOL)
Brendan has given us pride
by playing an attacking side
they rack up the goals
like galloping foals
opposing defenders just want to hide!
I now expect the phone call from Sweden. They’ve changed their decision about giving the award to Bob. “We don’t usually honour the Limerick” a Nobel Prize spokesperson said “but in this case the decision was unanimous..true art is true art.”
Young Tierney rampages down the wing
With dreams and songs to sing,
He had two to beat,but they were soon in retreat
As this young man is the King.
Wee jamesie is flying Delia is crying
How the fuck did I no pick him to play,
If I could have only managed instead of damaged,
I wouldn’t be back in Norway.
Barton is gone,the magic hat blown away,
I heard the warbmeister say.
i did all of I could,,
to keep them at bay,
But they have Dembele and griff
and the good old IRA.
I’m not a poet and don’t iknow it.
HH
A cup final place was the prize
we played a team that we all despise
the huns thought they were ace
they got put in their place
it brought a tear to king’s googly eyes
There was a hunskelper from France
Who led the zombies a merry wee dance
With a cheeky back heel the shit just got real
As Dembele sunk his one clear cut chance
John Hartson gave praise on the telly
For the skills of one Moussa Dembele
Straight through the Huns leg
With a double nutmeg
Now we’re dining on ice cream and jelly
There once was a Dembele Backheel
Dejected,is how it made the Huns feel
As The Tims danced for joy
Saluting our new SuperBhoy
Moussa jumped into the crowd, with such zeal
There once was an article by Desimond …
That rhymed with f*ck-all I can think of 🙂
There once was an article by Desimond
The reply to which, CarlBhoy needed a haun
but he was left in the jungle
To deal with his bungle
As Desi had chose to abscond
There once was a bhoy called Moussa
Who Fulham had down as a no user
Now e’s scoring goals for fun
And he’s twice fucked the hun
And no doubt had a BJ fae Tulisa
The best player on Sunday was Dembele,
Who!s eyes look as big as his belly,
We thought he was great,
and we all cleared our plate,
with masses of ice cream and jelly.
There once was an auld fart named Devoy
who is proud to be a Fenian bhoy.
He shuffles round in his baffies
he’s one of life’s dafties
and his team (usually)brings him great joy!
A Dundonian fairmer named Mike
what about him is not to like?
He writes about all sorts
he’s one of life’s great sports
he loves his pehs and he’s such a great tyke!
There was a Dundee fairmer called Mike
he’s a Tim like us so what’s not to like?
He writes all sorts of stuff
Pehs? He eats more than enough.
A real likeable tyke!
There is a bold Fenian, Devoy,
who!s posts are always a joy
we wont call him a rabbit,
in case he gets crabbit,
and stuffs his pus with savloy.
Ken.
There!s a coo in oor herd looks like Monti,
she likes chewing the cud,
while drinking a bud,
and her tail is all angled and jaunty.
is it poetry ye want heres poetry
https://youtu.be/JBmud6ScWSo
Bet comment you’ve ever made by a country mile, charlie :}
H H
Desi
There was once a team that cheated
Who thought they’d ne’er be defeated.
They had bought with tax money
What they thought were honeys
But, in fact, they proved to be dummies.
At the helm was a sir
Who caused quite a stir
When he satrted bawling
When Hector came calling
Saying that’s enough of your stalling.
So the bold knight sold out
To a billionaire tout
Greedy for some pennies from heaven.
But at last time did tell
He had purchased blue hell
And a devilish following as well.
So, he sought liquidation
And left transformation
To a bold Yorkshire lad named Green.
At Ibrox White ‘n Green best not be seen,
So Charlie gave them an orange tinted dream.
But charlie was just a charmer.
He skinned his snake of its armour.
He then did a runner
To the bluenoses’ scunner
And we’ve seen nought that’s been funnier.
Now a king has come in
With a bundle in a bin
That has never had the lid taken off.
We are told that inside, now please do not scoff,
There’s a chest full of gold from a South African toff.
Now repeats are often a bore.
But the new club is just as of yore,
Pumped up with fake promises and dreams
That are bursting it anew at the seams
And will kill it stone dead, so it seems.
But not all is dread and doom,
Well not if you’re a Sevco loon,
For they think they’re as good
As King promised they would
With a magic hat on a financial dude.
But once more they forgot
That the new Celtic will not
Be trampled all over like then.
The Celts are now kings ‘n they’ll let them ken
They will never take over again.
H H
Desi
Even my shit poetry gets flushed.
H H
There was a man called Green
Who came up with a foolproof scheme
He played the Huns like weans
Cos he knew Zombies have nae brains
Now he lives in the castle of his dreams
By the way, Desi. Aye, mike definitely needed encouragement 🙂
Good on ye Fermer mike. After all, Rabbie sowed many a seed in the hay down on the farm. But I don’t want to milk it, mike!!!!
Going to watch the game. First chance I’ve had. So, ge’s peace!! 🙂
H H
Pensionerbhoy,he!s no sae young,
but the songs that he!s sung,
of days of the past,
we pray that he!l last,
at least till the last bell has rung.
Boom!!! Boom!!!.
Mad Mike lives in Dundee since I don’t know when,
And crazy poetry flows from his pen,
He loves CFC,
And it’s easy to see,
He’s no the full shilling…ken.
Feck me, that Funkyy!s spaced oot,
He!s always a hoot,
He wid luv to be here,
smokin fags drinkin beer,
lets hope that,that idea takes root.
WWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
The blogger on here,his name is Dessi,
you can tell playin fitba. he!s no Messi,
but his blog is sublime,
he gets telt awe the time,
instead of breeks he wears a dressi.
T`was a Christmas Fenian Feast in October
Downed wae a double nutmeg for thy Tic benefactor.
sevco overlapped FC.
We all owe a lot to Ralph
which rhymes with nothing but Malph
He gives up his freedom
to write for us (and we need ’em)
Let’s never put him on the shelf!
And we owe just as much to Desi
who we’d never ever call a jessie
We look forward to his thinking
which is fun with its jinking
we’ve got Dessie you can keep your Messi.
Finally, here’s to all the Tims on this site.
We don’t always get it right.
We all like the craic
We dish it out and get it back
Oor bark is far worse than oor bite!
Naw its no, Cos i am sparkipus.
Oh i wid walk 10,000 miles,
wi one bent leg and hardning piles,
fu of hope and lots of smiles,
to watch the Tic. cos there the best,
down London road full of zest.
chased by the police,STOP i!m no nae sexy pest.
Ralphy, hope yoo are ok?
There’s a man on the southside called Mark,
He wibbles and wobbles pure crap.
The gaps getting smaller said the magic hat,
Deflection i think, i smell a rat.
No overinvestment or a decent warchest,
Jabba made Mark look a proper right breast.
So last word must go to Moussa Dembele,
Bob’s right when he said, Monti watched it on the telly.
Jumping for joy when the ball found Dembele,
Get it right up ye Huns, time for ice cream and Jelly.